The 5 best books against the obsession with perfection: Humor, relaxation, letting go {reading tip}

Perfectionism is far more than just a small tick - even if it is often perceived that way in society. The transition from the desire to make something as good as possible to (pathological) perfectionism is fluid. Different books help deal with this.

Perfectionism structured medium

Often the compulsion to perfection - or the Anxiety from not getting something perfect - life-determining. Because perfectionism is a serious stumbling block, both professionally and privately, which either demands a great deal of energy from us in order to constantly and everywhere meet our high standards, or prevents us from even getting started out of sheer worry that the result might not be good enough.

Several books also deal with this topic: First, therefore, came across a title that we only liked moderately well: On the one hand, a lot of content. But in a typically American way Style with many examples - badly structured at that. The author Monica Ramirez Blasco offers some very good exercises that help to get rid of perfectionist ways of thinking. And she comes up with many examples that she came across in her work as a psychologist.

Example chases example

But that is also a disadvantage of the book: a sample story after another. In these stories you can then find yourself again - or not. The fact that there is so much in the book, I feel as a disadvantage: less, more compressed and structured would have been more for me.

In addition, the author sometimes limits herself to telling the examples and then offers none Solution at. That can be frustrating. Add to that the dry writing style. This makes the book not only long-winded, but also not very encouraging. There are more entertaining books that are also well-founded, but thanks to their optimistic perspective they make you want to rethink.

When perfection determines life

This includes, for example, the title by Raphael Bonelli. In more than 50 sometimes tragicomic, sometimes shocking patient stories from his own practice, he describes how perfectionists tick. The Humour is never missing, and this serious topic makes you feel a lot more Fun.

The Viennese psychiatrist draws a picture of today's sea-monotony, of fears, false ambitions and lies of life, in order to show that one is happy who can accept himself in all his flaws, mediocrity and vulgarity. An interesting and helpful book!

Discounts for your success (advertising)!

Ways out of perfection

In everyday language, perfectionism tends to become an almost honorable one attitude transfigured, a small one weakness, which only shows that the person concerned takes his job and his obligations seriously. A dangerous fallacy, says author Raphael Bonelli.

Perfectionists are mentally stricken, they pull themselves and their social environment into a mental downward spiral. Bonelli states that they are "complainers, notorious pessimists and humorless troublemakers" in his recommendable book "Perfectionism". They have a “neurotic fear of their own faultiness that freezes the soul.”

The addiction to top marks

Perfectionism is sick and makes you sick. The "irrational fear of not being enough" often ends in the burn-out trap. Only when the emotional ties to colleagues, friends and the Family are torn, those affected ask for help.

The Viennese psychiatrist Bonelli knows the suffering of the perfectionists. In his book, he describes and analyzes 77 cases of people who simply can not be well, but always want to see a note better on their personal testimony.

The tragic cases of imperfection tolerance

The cases described are about the “bride who doesn't dare”, the sex refuser who “measures” a penis that is too small or the supposed elite student who fakes the exam to impress his “mom”. The studies are sometimes amusing, but mostly tragic.

And in some cases – that is for sure intentional – some readers will inevitably recognize themselves. Of course, Bonelli also prescribes the appropriate healing method in his book: “Tolerance to imperfection” is the name of the antidote. It frees “from ego addiction, compulsion to control, the right to be flawless, bitterness and accusations from others. Inner freedom, on the other hand, makes you flexible and independent.

Morbid perfectionism is like a rampant virus: those affected cannot cure themselves and make their loved ones sick. Symptoms, the course of the disease and therapy methods are described in a particularly informative and exciting way by Ralf Bonelli in his psychological guide. Quite a few readers will recognize themselves in one of the almost 80 cases. An important and good book!

Look at the terrain from above instead of crawling through the mud

Perfectionism comes from fear. And if the fear is diffuse, such as “the work is killing me”, “going to the Office becomes a martyrdom”, “colleagues avoid me” or “I can’t please my boss”, she turns into depression. If you haven't gone too far on the way there, there is the possibility of a turnaround through insight.

The motto is: take a step to the side and look at the terrain from above instead of constantly crawling through the mud. Dietmar Hansch follows this path with his readers. Then Burnout has long since Status a common disease.

Psychologists and doctors are feverishly researching the causes of the fatigue syndrome in order to differentiate the disease from depression and efficient enable treatment methods. Dietmar Hansch makes an important contribution with his book “Burnout”.

Burnout can hit anyone

Far removed from medical definitions, he explains burnout as a chronic, emotional low that can affect anyone: “In ours Society the pressure is now so high that even strong and healthy people are on their knees.”

Stress, missing recognition and fears in multiplication with each other are sure burnout drivers. Nevertheless, everyone can get up again if they allow themselves to be helped.

The stress is homemade?

Hansch does this with his mindfulness method. The astonishingly simple logic behind it: Much of the "overwhelming stress" is homemade and can be eliminated or at least mitigated on your own.

Eliminate claims to perfection and fear of failure (“a wealth of nonsensical must-haves”) positive energy and joie de vivre.

Optimism recover by foot from the accelerator pedal

Optimism and a healthy self-image can be regained by first taking your foot off the accelerator to build your “inner resilience to stress”. To do this, change the Perspektive. Ask what you really “need”, what a “No” instead of a forced “Yes” would mean worst case.

Whether you are unwarranted Criticism to heart or just to take note. A huge difference! And on the other hand, enjoy the moment you only have for yourself.

Appetite for a healthy, content life

Music, sports, dancing, reading, painting or just being inspired by the evening light of the "blue hour" on a walk: Hansch offers you many offers and an appetite for a healthy, satisfied life.

Dietmar Hansch's "Burnout" guide, which is close to everyday life, does not, of course, replace psychotherapy, but it can useful accompany. The book is most valuable to people who have recognized the looming downward spiral before it engulfs them. This book is dedicated to you.

Average is often good enough!

I have enough! No not true. Rather, it is a highly readable book that Women appeals in its double burden. The Swedish author caused a sensation in her home country with this book. Now it is also available from us.

Those who get up in the morning with the inner compulsion to be the best, will fall asleep in the evening with the feeling of having failed. Unreachable demands for perfection - for oneself and one's own environment - are the surest way into the burnout trap.

The safest way out of the burnout trap

That is the core idea of ​​Elizabeth Gummesson's book “I've had enough” from Beltz Verlag. Has around 150.000 women Coach Gummesson freed from perfectionism in her home country of Sweden. The guide is now available in German.

"I've had enough" is an empathetic, friendly book. The author uses the personal "you" address to enter into a virtual dialogue with her readership. This also includes small exercises that you can use to explore your own stress level or your unspoken ones needs formulate.

Get out of the hamster wheel

The pressure to function flawlessly directs many everyday situations. He directs that Behavior and thinking at work, in the family, in love and even more so in the evenings with friends or family celebrations.

Gummesson reports extensively from her Coaching-Practice to describe the various excesses of perfectionism, including the causes and consequences. Following each case study, the author shows which possible solutions are available.

Give control, communicate openly

In a nutshell: who Control communicates more openly, sets the bar for the personal Success readjusted and as a consequence his ego strengthened, becomes the hamster wheel of his own claims fast leave.

Red card for the perfection mania: "I've had enough" is a warm and sustainable self-coaching book for women who are in work and privacy demanding more of themselves than they can afford. Using many small exercises, Gummesson will help you to be more relaxed and fair in your self-assessment. Good book!

Only where there are scratches and scratches is life too

Today, it's about a book that fits thematically, of course, excellently to this blog and on the subject of perfectionism: Wabi Sabi assumes that we will never cope with anything. Therefore, perfection and standstill can not be achieved - and that would be boring. And: This view relaxes immensely!

It's the scratches, the dents and scrapes that Personality to lend. To people as well as things. Unique is what is alive and accepts impermanence.

The perfect, the finished, on the other hand, is lifeless. Based on these basic assumptions of the Japanese culture of Wabi Sabi, Christopher A. Weidner develops the perspective for a relaxed and conscious life in the modern age Welt.

Enjoy the transience of the moment

The view from the outside allows new perspectives on seemingly old-fashioned ones. Christopher A. Weidner succeeds very well with the recourse to the culture of the Wabi Sabi still present in Japan today.

Created as a counter-movement against the splendid tea ceremonies of China, Sen no Rikyu developed in the 16. Century an aesthetically reduced to the essential culture. At the center is the mindfulness for the moment. This means the conscious perception of the transient. The most famous example of this is the fallen cherry blossoms on a clean, well-suited pebbly path.

Against the illusion of being “done” with something at some point

Wabi Sabi also gives us tips for everyday life. Thus, Christopher A. Weidner represents the classic Time management countered a seemingly provocative wabi sabi phrase: "Wabi sabi assumes that we never get done with anything... it's about doing what we do wholeheartedly and enjoying it."

From this perspective the potential of this very old Japanese culture is revealed. It sets a counterbalance to the materialistic primacy of quantity by focusing on quality. An example is a nice dinner with friends.

The art of life

The joy of life and the enjoyment of life will only find who can perceive and enjoy the moment, and thus also the transience of the moment. Whoever, on the other hand, immediately thinks of a repetition (and multiplication) of food and mood will always chase after a chimera.

"Not perfect and still happy" is the title of the book in the subtitle. Author Christopher A. Weidner lives up to this promise by guiding his readers through many questions and suggestions to recognize the real motives and values.

He also conducts a quick test through the 16 life motives of the American psychologist Steven Reiss. Objective is to develop one's own culture of life based on the individual personality profile based on the principles of Wabi Sabi. A good introduction to Japanese Wabi-Sabi culture and an invitation to look at the world from a new perspective.

Read text as PDF

Acquire this text as a PDF (only for own use without passing it on according to Terms and conditions): Please send us one after purchase eMail with the desired title supportberufebilder.de, we will then send the PDF to you immediately. You can also purchase text series.

4,99€Buy

Advice on success, goal achievement or marketing

Do you have questions about careers, Recruiting, personal development or increasing reach? Our AIAdviser helps you for 5 euros a month – free for book buyers. We offer special ones for other topics IT services

5,00€ / per month   Book

Book eCourse on Demand

Up to 30 lessons with 4 learning tasks each + final lesson as a PDF download. Please send us one after purchase eMail with the desired title supportberufebilder.de. Alternatively, we would be happy to put your course together for you or offer you a personal, regular one eMail-Course - all further information!

29,99€Buy

Skate eBook as desired

If our store does not offer you your desired topic: We will be happy to put together a book according to your wishes and deliver it in a format of yours Choice. Please sign us after purchase supportberufebilder.de

79,99€Buy