Self-denial in psychology: Lack of self-love instead of job success

The own needs knowing is important. Unfortunately, many people do not even know what their needs are. ordnen of these social currents and theirs Career under.

Self-denial until you drop

Using the example of a fifty-year-old lady who, with a lot of pressure, does three different things Company built up and yet not become happy, we could see that it is important to know yourself and your needs.

However, the opposite can often be observed: Your own needs are neglected for your career. This is a big mistake in thinking: self-denial.

Do not be an egoist!

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Often behind this is the conviction: "I'm only worth something if everyone else is doing well and I have to take care of it." People with this mistake in thinking, they put the life interests of their fellow human beings above their own needs.

The bad thing about this way of thinking is that people defend this way of thinking by all means. “What would this be Society, if everyone would only think of themselves and no one would think of their fellow human beings?”

Think of yourself!

Do not get me wrong. Nobody should be raised to be an egomaniac and a pure hedonist here. It's more about developing healthy egoism. An egoism that allows you to take care of yourself, to stay healthy both mentally and physically and not to want to please everyone.

So say no if you don't want something. Asking for support if you need assistance. – I could continue this list for pages. In self-denial mode we have Anxiety fear that something terrible could happen to us or others if we don't sacrifice ourselves.

Reasons for self-denial

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We could tease and make enemies. Maybe even get unpopular or get a headwind we can not stand. There may be dozens of depth psychology reasons for self-denial. Typical reasons are:

• Beliefs,
• Fears,
• embossing,
• traumatic experiences,
• fears
• and many more.

Whatever it is, they do not do you good, because they perform bit by bit for self-abandonment.

Self-denial – that’s what psychologists say

Psychologically speaking, self-denial is a complex phenomenon that is studied at various levels. At the individual level, self-denial can be based on deeply held beliefs, often arising in childhood. A low self-esteem or a strong need for recognition from others can cause someone to put their own needs and desires aside in favor of others. This may also be associated with a strong desire for social acceptance and avoiding conflict.

On a social level, self-denial can be influenced by societal norms and expectations. Cultural or familial values ​​that uphold selflessness and sacrifice can cause people to neglect their own needs to meet expectations. This can lead to internalized pressure that increases self-denial.

From a depth psychological perspective, self-denial can be traced back to deep-seated beliefs and imprints that often arise in childhood. Low self-esteem or a strong need for external recognition can cause people to neglect their own needs. This waiver Self love is sometimes associated with perceived success in professional life or social relationships.

Altruism vs. egoism: What are the motives behind self-denial

Psychologists also consider the role of personality traits such as empathy and altruism in self-denial. People who are highly empathetic and feel strong compassion for others may be more likely to sacrifice their own needs to help others or to avoid conflict.

The Motivation Behind self-denial can be complex and varies from person to person. Sometimes it can be considered an adaptive one Strategy be viewed as a way to maintain relationships or to Harmony promote in social interactions. However, excessive self-denial can also lead to negative effects on one's well-being, such as feelings of dissatisfaction, resignation or even psychological stress such as depression or anxiety disorders. The Balance Between selflessness and self-care is therefore crucial for healthy psychological well-being.

Altruists experience little appreciation

Altruists who selflessly work for the well-being of others sometimes experience little direct experience Esteem or recognition for their actions. This can happen for various reasons. On the one hand, their helpfulness is often taken for granted, so their efforts may not be sufficiently appreciated. People who act altruistically often do so without expectation of reward or gratitude, which can lead to their actions being viewed as normal or expected, rather than as special.

Selflessness or victimhood?

Although people with an altruistic attitude are extremely important for a society, they unfortunately receive far too little appreciation. I have experienced clients in my practice who were so closely tied to their victimhood that they no longer knew what their needs were. They have been living in self-denial of their own desires for so long that they... Contact completely lost to themselves.

In addition, altruists may be taken for granted due to their constant availability to others. Their generosity and sacrifice can cause others to put their own needs ahead of the altruist's, which can lead to a kind of exploitation or overload. This can lead to a lack of appreciation for the altruist's ongoing efforts.

Creative chaots also have a hard time!

But also creative people, lateral thinkers and chaotic people have in our standardized rational Working world often difficult to know and to live their own needs. It is precisely unconventional talents such as flexibility, empathy and inventiveness that Economy and society are becoming increasingly important.

Because odd career paths are becoming increasingly important in a constantly changing society,  Innovation and flexibility are becoming more and more important in the globalized economy and so are the Power of the "colorful birds" such as inventiveness, empathy and visions are increasingly in demand.

Colorful birds don't realize their potential

A big Problem is that many of the creative chaos do not even know their skills themselves - and this one not at all merchandise can. When people with extremely weird CVs get a chance to speak, it often becomes apparent that you can work without having formally completed vocational training, for example successfully can be - assuming you have the appropriate initiative.

We are looking for adaptable co-thinkers with a streamlined approach Curriculum vitae and more formal qualification. Those who think differently often fail to recognize their potential.

Creative cross-thinkers sunk in lower floors

As a result, visionary lateral thinkers and creative chaots, who have unconventional talents and meandering careers, often sand down on the lower floors. Tragic for those affected, who cannot live out their talents, and a great loss for companies, because today they absolutely need idea providers and visionaries on their decision-making floors.

What do you have to bring with you if you want to have a successful career? Adaptability, rational thinking and a straightforward curriculum vitae, that is the common idea. This is what the preferred employee of most companies looks like. He doesn't even have to climb the career ladder because you are automatically hoisted up. Unfortunately!

Self-awareness promotes resilience

This is a shame, because from research on the subject of burnout and resilience science now knows that people can deal with crisis situations particularly well if they know their own needs and consciously reward themselves for success. Skills that our management floors can definitely use.

Personal self-efficacy increases precisely when one does not deny oneself. So you should urgently work against it in order to avoid the mistake of thinking self-denial and the associated self-abandonment and thus recognize your true potential.

The social impact of a lack of recognition

It is important to recognize that a lack of appreciation for selfless people can have potentially negative effects on both their psychological well-being and society as a whole. The feeling of not being valued or recognized can lead to frustration, disappointment or even a feeling of burnout Burnoutsyndrome. In some cases, this can cause selfless people to withdraw or limit their willingness to help in order to protect themselves.

Greater appreciation for such people could help create an environment that supports and encourages their efforts. By expressing gratitude and appreciation, society or those who benefit from their help can make them feel that their actions are valued. This could help maintain altruists' motivation and promote their well-being.

Conclusion: Self-denial is a complex topic in psychology

Self-denial applies in the Psychology as a complex topic that concerns the balance between sacrifice and self-care in different areas of life. The tendency to put one's own needs aside in favor of others can occur negative impact on individual well-being, even if at first glance it is associated with professional success.

However, excessive self-denial can lead to a neglect of one's own well-being and long-term negative psychological effects Health have. One-sided willingness to sacrifice without appropriate self-care can lead to Stress, dissatisfaction, burnout or even mental illness.

Finding a balance between selflessness and self-care is crucial. Promoting self-love and self-acceptance is an important aspect of achieving a healthy psychological balance. Acknowledging your own needs and setting boundaries are just as important as helping others. A balance between self-love and caring for others can contribute to a fulfilling and balanced life that promotes both personal well-being and successful interpersonal relationships.

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