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By Tom Diesbrock (More) • Last updated on October 17.12.2023, XNUMX • First published on 18.08.2016/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 5397 readers, 2250 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Do you often try to be everyone's darling? Then you might not like what you are reading now: Someone who gives reflexively always gets up People who like to take whatever they can get.
There, where someone hangs around in the shadows and hopes that you and his Performance perceives, there will always be others who like to stand in the light and who awareness to attract.
If you don't dare to lock your door, you shouldn't be surprised at people who come in without knocking. Just pointing a finger at the "Take from the Tribe" and complaining about your own fate usually does not help much.
Each of us seeks and needs recognition and love. As adults, we should be able to distinguish between the two and look for both where we have a chance of finding it.
Someone who is primarily driven at work by their need for recognition and praise is likely to experience a great deal of frustration. If you want to be loved by colleagues and bosses above all, you have a real one Problem!
I do everything to be everyone's darling, a client once said quite naturally. She really did almost everything for the affection of her fellow human beings, at work and also in life privacy.
Your Behavior, thinking and feeling followed a typical Pattern, which I use more often, by the way Women than with men: It is not an employment contract, instructions or task profile that determine behavior, but the deep desire to win and keep everyone's affection.
You orientate yourself on this and refrain from anything that could jeopardize this. A No is hardly in the vocabulary of everybody's darling.
Whether the Executive, colleagues or customers want something from him, he lets everything stand for it, always has time and an open ear and lets everyone get involved. Your own work will then be done later. Probably when everyone else has long been home.
With the popular question (which of course is not meant as a question) Can you just...? anyone can interrupt him at any time and offload work to him. My client told me at the time that her colleagues actually told her Tasks, which were not in their area of responsibility, simply banged on the table.
Without even seriously asking if she wanted to and could take care of it. Full of indignation, she reported how she paid for the shared taxi to the Christmas party (which of course she had organized) and none of the passengers ever told her that Money reimbursed for it.
Did she ask for it? "No, I can not do that. I would be considered petty. Why am I treated like that? "
Well, maybe because it worked well?
Because remember: If I don't take care of myself, probably no one else will. If I don't assert myself, others will Head push through. And if I don't show myself, I'll be overlooked.
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Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author. Tom Diesbrock himself has had a winding career: starting with a medical degree, working on a music project and as a photo editor, he studied psychology and founded a practice for psychotherapy. Today he works in Hamburg as a coach and psychological consultant. One focus of his work is accompanying people in their professional reorientation. His book “Your horse is dead? Get off! " has been translated into several languages, his new book “Jetzt mal Butter bei die Fisch!” will be published in October. More information at tomdiesbrock.de All texts by Tom Diesbrock.
Mental self-management in everyday life & job - Part 2: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's… via BERUFEBILDER - Recommended contribution IoR5WAiw0s
Mental self-management in everyday life & job - Part 2: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's… via BERUFEBILDER - Recommended contribution pXcOIwQAfn
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