Surrounded by lies: Why people don't tell the truth - 5 steps [+ checklists]

We are surrounded by lies every day, much more than we think. But why can't we unconditionally trust others? 5 findings.

Don't make it too easy for others

Jane Sullivan readily admits it to the CEO of an investment firm light made to rip her off $250.000 - her savings for retirement. Jane had invested in a diamond mine in South Africa; it was a Projects, which was led by Chicago real estate company WexTrust Capital. The manager told her confident over 30 percent profit ahead, so it was a tempting offer.

But while many would have viewed this offer as suspect -- or just downright risky -- due to the huge returns, Jane had decided to get down to business and pledge a quarter of a million dollars invest. However, a few months later everything came to light. The CEO had organized a classic Ponzi scheme - with early investors reaping lucrative profits from those further down the hierarchy. And much to Jane's chagrin, she later discovered that she was the last investor before the Securities and Exchange Commission stepped in.

Why do intelligent people fall for convicted fraudsters?

Jane is by no means a naïve novice when it comes to financial matters. She had an MBA from one of the most prestigious business schools in the world Welt acquired, launched a thriving business in Paris and successfully Property bought or sold before Age moved to New York when she was only 50 years old to live off her investment income. So how could she fall victim to such a scam? How could the manager wrap her around his finger like that? "I was just stupid," she admits to herself. “I saw things that seemed questionable to me and ignored them. I just wanted to believe it was all true."

It wasn't like the CEO was a slick Wall Street trader. “He was an extremely obnoxious person. He was sweating profusely and was obese,” Jane recalls of her first meeting with him. 'But he was easy to get along with. Within minutes I felt like I knew him and he would be a good friend.” However, Joseph Shereshevsky was a convicted fraudster who pleaded guilty to bank fraud in 2003. But of course Jane knew nothing about that. 'He knows how to People wrapped around your finger. That's his great talent - by the end of the conversation I had a lot Ask asked, looked at a lot of data and heard countless anecdotes about him.«

How to wrap people around the finger

what her awareness What had particularly appealed to him was the prospect of making a 30 to 80 percent profit for at least sixteen years. It seemed unbelievable, but after all it was a diamond mine. She discussed the deal with her brother-in-law, an experienced investor who had already made millions in sales. He, too, was intrigued by the potential returns, so they met Shereshevsky a number of times to learn more about the project and diamond mining in general. But while Jane is becoming increasingly interested in the Investment found, she also discovered a number of inconsistencies in the documents - numbers that do not Sinn revealed significant shortcomings in legal documents - to which Shereshevsky addressed.

'He always had an answer ready. It wasn't necessarily an answer I particularly believed. But because he answered me at all, I just stopped worrying about any Problems Jane is normally a very sharp businesswoman. Such mistakes should at least have suggested a lack of professionalism to her - and a high one Risksthat she entered. So what was the reason for her making such a grave misjudgment? Why didn't she jump off in time? She is remarkably candid in her self-assessment: »I was blinded by greed. I wanted to believe all that."

Lies in history

Deception and betrayal have always been an integral part of human life. The earliest evidence in history and the traditions on which our world religions and cultures are based reveal an endless flood of lies that have been spread to gain food, sex and power:

• A 17.000-year-old cave painting in the Pyrenees depicts a hunter who uses furs and deer antlers to make it easier for them to approach the herd disguised as a reindeer.
• In Greek mythology, Zeus, who wants to seduce Hera, turns into a cuckoo and takes refuge in her arms during a self-inflicted storm to arouse her pity.
• In the book of Genesis, Cain kills Abel out of jealousy and lies to God when he inquires about Abel's whereabouts: “I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper? ”

Trust versus Deception: An Evolutionary Arms Race

In Order: We must trust to survive. Paradoxically, we also have to lie to survive. Subtlety confers a distinct advantage on those who can get away with it. Exactly the same – and that makes it even more complicated – does the expert uncovering of lies. Let's look back at our ancestors to see why both are true. Imagine a tribe of prehistoric people during a famine. In times when food was still plentiful, sharing made perfect sense.

Since the tribal members for sure If they were able to have a constant supply, they could afford to be generous to others and thus contribute to the well-being of the tribe. But when food became scarce, tribesmen who stockpiled secret supplies had a better chance of surviving...especially if they lied and claimed they didn't have hoarded food. Conversely, other members of the tribe had a survival advantage if they could spot the lies of their dishonest brethren and claim the hamster supplies for themselves. And so began the evolutionary arms race.

The art of lying is firmly anchored in the human brain

Are we really living in more dishonest times? Are people really that much less trustworthy today than they were 100 years ago? Unlikely. Human nature has changed little over time. The Art of lying - if there is one - seems fixed in the human Brain to be anchored. Socially speaking, people who can neither lie nor recognize lies are at a disadvantage. There is even evidence that the inability to deceive or recognize deception as such is indicative of atypical brain development.

In a study conducted by British researchers in collaboration with the University Halle 2006 on the subject, the Germans did not fare well either. The majority of them obviously do not obey the law, and according to the surveys, cheating, cheating and cheating seem to be the norm in Germany too Agenda - there are no scruples about defects when selling the used car, TV license fees are not paid, excessive demands are made on insurance companies or some office supplies are secretly stolen.

Who lies when?

The own Behavior is often used as a reaction to the immoral conditions in Society and Economy justified. Straight dishonesty at Workplace is much broader and occurs far more frequently than most people can or want to believe. Another study found that numerous lies were uncovered over the course of a week, in

• 37 percent of phone calls,
• 27 percent of face-to-face conversations
• 21 percent of short messages and
• 14 percent of emails.

Of these forms of communication, only email and text messages leave written evidence, which explains why they appear to be more genuine. If you work from home or alone in a branch, you are still far removed from the rich pool of subtle information transmission.

Lies and manipulation - identify typical situations in 5 steps

Those of us who go to the daily Office walk, meet their colleagues at least on the way to the toilet or in the parking lot. But the partner's clenched jaw when angry, the fleeting glance a manager gives his assistant, the boss's crooked grin when assigning an awkward task—all these mimic expressions that provide clues to the other person's state of mind , millions of workers who work from home these days are missing out Job pursue. It has now become common Shops closing up with people you've never met or spoken to in person.

1. We are lied to 200 times a day

But that's not all. Various scientists have been able to prove with their studies that most of us are lied to about 200 times a day. If you're lucky enough to get eight hours of sleep a night, that translates to about 200 lies an hour. The majority of these XNUMX untruths consist of so-called courtesy lies that are uttered in order to Conversation to keep going.

• "Of course I would like to see your vacation photos," we pretend to the man sitting next to us on the train, secretly hoping that he has not saved more than 500 pictures on his camera. Or we flicker to establish a common basis with the conversation partner:
• "It's a great jacket," we enthuse, thinking: "... maybe for Aunt Frieda's lapdog." We may also want to cover up an embarrassment with a little white lie:
• "I'm terribly sorry I'm late - the traffic was chaos." The streets were really quiet, but who would admit that he almost missed his date?

2. Attention manipulation

Polite lies are not the problem. But the ten or so lies that we hear every day and that – if we knew about them – would influence the decisions we make with regard to our career, Industry, closest relationships and our privacy meet:

• »This is an interesting offer. I will present it to the board. "-" Don't listen to the schemers. Our own chapter is growing like crazy. «
• “We're definitely looking for someone with your skills. I will immediately forward your application portfolio to the HR department. «
• "If these weren't promising growth markets, I wouldn't recommend investing."
• “I'm stuck in Chicago, honey. I had no choice, the customer insisted on another dinner together. «
• »There is only one condominium left. … I would strike immediately if I were you. ”

3. Dangerous lies

Such lies are dangerous. Not noticing them is like missing a sign warning of quicksand. But fortunately you can with a little bit exercise learn to interpret treacherous signals so that attempts at deception can be spotted straight away. Rarely will one lie then slip through the net. About this Objective In order to achieve this, I would like to expand your background knowledge and take a historical look back: First of all, we should deal with the question of why and how lies have become so prevalent in our culture. And we should ask ourselves what lies we should really be concerned about.

• Resist the urge to add missing information when listening to someone. Pay attention only to what is said or not said. Again and again we miss important signs that indicate deception.

4. Bad news for business culture

The assessment of how our business culture appears to be doing is even darker when you consider the following:

• Surveys show that most people admit to having a less guilty conscience when they are dishonest at work than when they lie privately - and it's not just about using supplies of office supplies.
• A study also found that 66 percent of job applicants were misled as to the company's financial status.
• An overwhelming majority - 83 percent - of college students lie about applying for a job and have virtually no guilty conscience because they "know" that everyone else does.
• In a study, about half of all employed people admitted that they had committed at least one unethical and / or illegal act during the year.
• As part of a study: All negotiating partners either lied about a problem or kept it to themselves until they were addressed directly.

5. Lies as an ability to survive

Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, director of the Autism Research Center at Cambridge University, explains that autistic children don't always realize that people are saying things they don't mean. "There is only one version of reality for an autistic child," explains Baron-Cohen. “The other version - the world of beliefs and intentions - may be one that it seldom sees, or that it understands too slowly or too late.

This tells us something very important: that the skills you need to survive and manage in a social environment include reading minds and recognizing intentions and desires - and that the ability to deceive is rather an indication of this that a child develops typical social skills. ”Lies therefore appear to be an essential, though sometimes less welcome, part of human interaction. And as noted earlier, this doesn't just affect the human species! The literature gives examples of how animals lie:

• Some male fish deceive their rivals when it comes to choosing their partner: When competitors penetrate their territory, male Atlantic carvings tend to make female sexual advances that are not their first choice.
• A laboratory raven named Hugin, who was upset that a member of his species had tried to steal his goodies, pretended to have found food elsewhere. As the second raven approached to claim the food, Hugin hurried back to the place where the goodies were actually hidden.
• And, of course, from the ranks of mammals: Koko - the famous gorilla lady that scientists have taught to communicate with signs - claimed that a kitten was responsible for tearing a sink out of the wall.

The real gain of truth

Of course, it has a practical use if you fast learn who to trust. If a human resource manager Choice has to choose between ten immaculately dressed applicants, he can quickly find out who to hire. When a CEO is dealing with a handful of journalists who want to conduct a personal interview with him, he can reliably assess who will deliver a truthful story and refrain from "self-interpretation". A Adviser can confidently choose a client or employer who will pay him on time.

But we don't go to the gym to get stronger and train more and more. Rather, we keep fit because we feel fuller after every strenuous workout Energy to be, and because it improves our chances of living long, healthy lives. Similarly, one does not learn deception detection in order to expose someone as a liar. Rather, we train our skills to strengthen our relationships and to gather around us a small circle of unconditionally loyal, reliable colleagues and friends, to sharpen our instincts, to increase our productivity increaseto gain more confidence in ourselves and to improve our working environment. It's not about just convicting others of lying. Rather, the focus is on creating an environment in the long term in which we can trust our fellow human beings.