satisfaction does not depend so much on external circumstances. Rather, we can create satisfaction: by questioning existing thought patterns.
- Bad luck: are the circumstances to blame or the subjective perception?
- Our attitude is responsible for dissatisfaction
- This is how you can change your setting
- Outsmart the brain
- How we are guaranteed to be unsatisfied
- When healthy competition becomes “comparative addiction”
- Questions: Is your competitive thinking already unhealthy?
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Bad luck: are the circumstances to blame or the subjective perception?
Maybe you have those days when you just bitch about everything? Or do you find that others go through life much more balanced and content? Are they so much luckier and Success? Rather the opposite is often the case: because satisfaction is such a thing: it is usually the result of our subjective observation. And we are happier when we see something positively.
Because the circumstances of a situation cannot always be changed. Many People eg have to deal with a professional situation day in and day out clear come who they find anything but satisfactory. And what makes you even more dissatisfied is the fact that there is (supposedly) nothing you can do about it. But what should one do if the external circumstances cannot be changed?
Our attitude is responsible for dissatisfaction
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It's simple: reconsider your attitude! Because you can influence your attitude towards something and thus reduce your dissatisfaction considerably. Don't you think so? Is that too easy for you? Do you think that's ridiculous? It is by no means.
The fact is: The American psychologist Albert Ellis has determined that how satisfied we are depends only partially on the external conditions. The extent to which we suffer from a problem is also significantly influenced by how we perceive, evaluate and interpret these external conditions. And our attitude towards life is mostly responsible for this.
This is how you can change your setting
So this means that in order to reduce dissatisfaction, you don't necessarily have to change the situation - you can also change your attitude. Of course, that doesn't mean that you should be patient with everything that bothers you. But if you change your attitude just a little, the view of the difficult situation will become clearer and maybe you will suddenly see waysthat you didn't even notice before. Just start with the situations and areas of your work that make you particularly dissatisfied.
For example, think of the choleric Executive or the disorganized colleagues. What exactly makes you unhappy about this situation? Think about how you evaluate your own personal situation with which you are dissatisfied. Define exactly which situations make you dissatisfied: For example, is the boss really always choleric or only in certain situations? Write down exactly when you were dissatisfied with the boss and when not. Now if you think about how feel you then? Write these feelings down.
Outsmart the brain
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The exact reflection helps to see a thing from a new and perhaps better side. Because people tend to simplify things a little. The reason for this is to be found in the brain: a multitude of stimuli storms on people every day. The brain only absorbs a small part of this mass of sensory impressions. But not by chance: The brain primarily selects information that it can integrate into existing thought patterns.
In plain language: What we perceive is very strongly influenced by our conviction, our previous experiences, attitudes and interests. In addition, stimuli that trigger strong feelings are processed faster and better than information in which one is not emotionally involved. If you want to change this mechanism, you have to outsmart your brain.
How we are guaranteed to be unsatisfied
Here is a concrete example: Healthy competitive thinking can be a driving force for more productivity and Performance be. On the contrary, if it is taken to the extreme, it can hinder performance because the constant comparison paralyzes us. Those are two sides of a coin.
In our day-to-day work, there is constant competition - completely normal and usually a good thing. Healthy competitive thinking can be helpful: it motivates us to perform better, to constantly improve and to do our thing. The desire to outdo others is a powerful drive motor for top performance.
When healthy competition becomes “comparative addiction”
“I want to be able to speak French just as well as my colleague, so I will learn more” - this comparison is clearly motivating and helps Objective to reach. But it becomes problematic when the comparison is constant negative fails. A comparison then has a rather depressing quality Effect. If you think: "I'll never be able to learn French that well anyway, I might as well give up the course", then you take away the incentive to learn. Constantly comparing yourself to others can become a quirk, even an addiction. The best way to completely taint your life.
Typically, this Behavior also leads to unnecessary conflicts: Quite a few people have Problems admitting fears or envy to yourself, let alone openly admitting it. In order to cover up the emerging feeling of inferiority, they react arrogantly - namely to Costs of the people with whom they have compared themselves. Exaggerated, it sounds something like this: “Why are you doing a French course at all? To perfect your know-it-all attitude?” And the colleague thinks: "Man, what an arrogant goat!"
Questions: Is your competitive thinking already unhealthy?
The following Ask can give an indication of how strong your comparison addiction is. Answer yourself the following questions:
- Can you trust your colleagues or do you see them more as competitors?
- Do you often compare yourself to other people?
- Do these comparisons make you feel better or worse?
- Do you remain realistic when comparing yourself to others?
- What exactly do you compare? Are your comparisons correct or are they based only on what you think you know about the person?
- Do you always compare individual aspects, such as “colleague A has more money than me”?
- Or do you also include other aspects in your comparisons, such as “colleague A must also have more responsibility”?
- If others are “better” or more successful - what is the significance of this for your life?
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