Being successful does not just mean going through one's own boot, but always also working together with others. Altercenterierung is inevitable. How does this work?

ego trip

Help, an egomaniac!

Do you know that too? During negotiations, she confronts her interlocutor with technical terms and abbreviations that you neither further nor interest and that you can only understand as an insider.

Your negotiator has a clear one Concept of right and wrong in Headthat he wants to impose on you. In all these situations there is no trace of alterocentricity.

Take off your specialist glasses

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Relationships—both business and personal—thrive when they last Esteem, awareness , mindfulness and empathy. And that is what alterocentricity is. Nobody likes a conversation partner who doesn't pay any real attention to you, who simply brushes aside the interests and suggestions of his counterpart, talks him to the ground.

But what is the reason for this? We keep thinking of ourselves as the center of our (small) universe. Egocentricity and selfishness are in ours Society on Agenda very high up.

The winner takes it all?

When it comes to our own interests, we try to implement them with many means. Even if my opponent remains on the line, pulls the short one, I talk him into the ground, no consideration can be taken.

"The winner takes is all"... In the short term we can deal with this Behavior definitely achieve success. In the long run, we lose out as a result: Who wants to talk to someone who is only interested in themselves?

5 tips for true age centering

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Even if that is admittedly quite popular in some talk shows Method has. The following tips make alterocentricity easy:

1, “The biggest mistake about communication is the assumption that it took place”.

How often do we talk past each other. Special expressions, technical terms, insider knowledge are a guarantee for this. Taking them off is for many People a big challenge. Especially for those who confuse technical with social skills.

Once more: Communication arises at the recipient. Does your conversation partner share your specialization? No? Then off with the glasses, away with deadlocked value and action patterns, away with the special knowledge - only temporarily, of course.

2. Give wishes of other space

Even if these wishes are contrary to your own. To give space does not automatically give right, does not mean to accept for a long time. But listen and try to understand. Put yourself into your partner.

What brings you all this? Through understanding and understanding, it is easier and easier to take into account the interests and desires of the other, where it makes the least effort. You'll see it's worth it!

3. Make a point: often times the flap hold

Monologues are often a sure-fire success. One literally warms oneself up, it is often difficult to stop the flow of speech. Pay attention to your opponent: body language says more than a thousand words. With something exercise you become tired, bored, disinterested in the other light detect.

And: This is usually not because of your sleepless conversation partner, it is because of you! Include your counterpart in that Conversation join in, ask questions, be silent. Because as a solo entertainer you don't need a counterpart. You can also talk to yourself in private.

4. Siegen - but also can do without

Not only is the knowledge of the situation of the other being asked here, but the willingness to understand the thoughts and emotions of the counterpart, and the ability to really understand them.

You can train it. Put yourself in the position of your partner and try to recognize his thoughts, emotions and intentions. Feel in his situation and show feelings like joy, enthusiasm, grief, compassion.

There is always only one winner. Where there is a winner, there are always defeated, there are always one or more losers. There can be several winners, no losers are required. If you put the fight back, you will be at the forefront of your partner!

Who am I dealing with?

The core question with any successful communication is usually: What do I want to tell the other? This question should not be asked! Rather, with whom do I deal with?

Whether in the Job Interview with our HR, as Seller at the dealership with the customers, as a manager with my employees, as a doctor in dealing with my patients, the one who asks the questions is always more successful

  1. Do I formulate and argue objectively correctly and addressee-fair?
  2. Does what I say or write come as I would like or would like to?

can answer with a clear “yes”.

Communication arises at the receiver

Communication ultimately arises at the recipient. "I do not hear what you say, but what I can or want to hear" says an old saying. Therefore: Pay more attention to the person with whom you speak or whom you want to convince than to yourself.

This is exactly what is meant by "alterocentration", namely putting yourself and your own value judgments behind and focusing entirely on your partner and the cause.

The top 4 of Alterozentrierung

And such conversation partners are very popular with others. So that does not happen to you, here are the top 4 of Alterozentrierung:

1. Not always “ME; I; I"

Those who are not Alterozentriert wants to be in the foreground: I; I; I. It's all about:

The I-sayer thinks and acts without regard to OTHERS. Only his advantage and his Opinions to count. Anyone who thinks and acts alterocentrically does the opposite: they also allow the advantages and opinions of others.

2. Not: “I am entitled to something different than others”

"Self Debt” he says to her when she once again complains about his unwillingness to help around the house, “you didn't have to do any of that because of me. And by the way: I don't do any dirt here."

Some people give themselves more liberties than he wants others to stand, feels deeply in the right and has no place for the opinions and perspectives of others. Anyone who thinks and acts in an age-centered way does not.

3. Not “Where I am is up”

How do I see others? This is the question that an aged man is posing. All the others do not do this, after all, it is about putting themselves at the top (optionally in the center).

That others have a different perspective, different skills, different desires and needs have – uninteresting and negligible. Main thing: recognition in the special role. People often think they get it through exaggeration. Please don't!

4. A little ego is for everyone

But with all Alterozentrierung applies: Every person should be careful not to come too short. A certain amount of selfishness belongs to everyone and is also necessary in order to assert one's own interests.

A healthy egoism is characterized by the fact that one can assert oneself on the one hand, but at the same time also knows its limits and allows one's fellow man the freedom to develop oneself.

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