Say no, escape manipulation & permanent availability: absence as a status symbol?

In our Society It's considered chic to be available all the time - because it emphasizes your own importance. But what if unavailability suddenly becomes a rare luxury – and thus a status symbol? A paradigm shift!

Manipulation by the boss: The fear of saying "no"

You probably also know the problem: The Executive wants you to finish the project today, the important one eMail at customers still send, the filing sortieren and and and – and just feel like you can’t”No” say, because then the boss will get mad, maybe something negative will even happen.

Or because you don't want to be a failure who doesn't get something baked. Or don't want to be selfish in front of colleagues. No matter what: In the end it turns out that you just do what the boss wants. Some bosses also take advantage of these fears and try to get employees to say yes through slight manipulations, such as pressure, defending themselves against a guilty conscience, overwhelming themselves or flattery. Of course, a “no” is particularly difficult.

Internet time trap: just don't get bogged down!

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But not only the boss, but also that Internet can be an incredible time waster: when I think about how much time is wasted “tinkering” with my website or looking for automation tools. At the same time, the modern Technology, used efficiently, also help to save work processes and time.

A big Problem I see this in the fragmentation of the various services, which forces us to act on more communication channels than we actually want. Because these new services often do not work properly together, are short-lived or lure their users with a free service at the beginning, which then eventually becomes chargeable.

Another problem and just as ineffective (especially what the Privacy is concerned) is the monopolization by internet giants like Facebook or Google, who can then dictate their terms to us. Or is it really like Amber Case in a Ted Talk realized that we are all cyborgs already?

Simulated phone calls: emphasize your own importance with your mobile phone!

The fact is: worse than a crowded one eMail- Mailbox is for many People one in which yawning emptiness reigns. Because that means, for heaven's sake, that we are completely insignificant and nobody needs us! So maybe you want to feel needed and have Anxiety to be superfluous? And maybe even your job is in danger and your livelihood threatened? A horror show!

So it's no wonder that we keep coming across people who loudly emphasize their own importance at the airport or on the train with their cell phones. One in four mobile phone users has even simulated a mobile phone call in order to appear better in front of others. Because anyone who is constantly stressed wants to suggest one thing above all: I will be called by bosses, colleagues, acquaintances, friends, Family etc. needed. I am important. I am valued, respected - and loved!

Absence as status symbol

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Those who are clever, on the other hand, increase their reputation with occasional phases of inaccessibility. Because when everyone can be reached at any time, it becomes a rare luxury not to have to answer all the time. And whoever allows himself the luxury of communicative absence shows: "Look, I can afford it!"

Absence as a status symbol. An example: Managers who want to prove their leadership skills today go on vacation for 10 weeks – and are simply not available! Besides being that's his own Health and performance is beneficial, he shows something completely different:

If you answer the phone: away money!

That he understands his job because he has organized the store so well that it can do without him, while not only relaxing, but also good ideas for the Future hatches. On the other hand, a manager who is permanently stressed and is always on call has no time left for his actual management task and innovative thinking.

The HarvardBusiness-Manager even recommends as a deterrent: “Every time a manager be in this period Office calls, his year-end bonus should be reduced by 20 percent. Every time an employee had to call the manager, he would be deducted 10 percent of his bonus."

Whoever does not say “no” is doing bad work

That sounds funny, but it has a serious background that also affects the quality of your own work. Anyone who allows himself to be overwhelmed with too much work at any time not only compromises the quality of his work Performance, but also falls in the standing of superiors and colleagues. A "no" at the right time and in the right tone is not a sign of laziness, weakness or defiance.

Therefore, you should say “no”. Because if you always say “yes”, you may get bogged down in your work, and the boss will be even more dissatisfied afterwards. And worse: They also damage their reputation in the Company, because you will soon be seen as yes-men and dodgers.

Ask So just be very realistic: what can really happen if you say “no”? Can you live with the consequences? What are the pros and cons of saying "yes" or "no"?

If you decide that saying "no" isn't so bad after all, it depends on how you say your "no": what matters is that you have a whole klare Make an announcement – ​​bosses and colleagues appreciate that. And the tone makes the music: Don't just blurt out the "No" violently and defiantly, but bring good arguments that others can understand.

1. Show understanding for the concerns of bosses and colleagues: A “no” is more acceptable if you appreciate the motivation of the others and at the same time formulate it well: “I can understand very well that you need the information for the interview tomorrow, but I cannot help you today. You should have told me this yesterday. ”
2. Give a “no” to help others understand it better. But be careful: do not justify yourself, but make clear personal reasons: “With this budget, I cannot successfully carry out the project. ”
3. Stick to the “No”, but offer your boss an alternative what you can do about it: “But I still have an idea ” or "Today I want to go on time, but I would like to do it tomorrow morning and it will be ready when you come to the office. ” Even small concessions can be helpful.
4. If you are not sure whether to say “yes” or “no”, do not react too quickly. Allow yourself some time to consider the advantages and disadvantages of the next steps. This allows you to gain more inner clarity and collect arguments: “I'll let you know tomorrow. ”
5. If the boss keeps coming up to you with small tasks that he could do faster and better himself, offer him help for self-help: “I would like to go through the filing system with you so that you can find the documents in the future even when I'm not there. ” or "I would be happy to explain this computer problem to you, and you will see that you can always quickly solve it yourself. ”

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