When both partners want to pursue a career, it is often difficult. Because high flexibility and usually also mobility are in many jobs today mandatory. How can a double career be shaped when there are still children?

Focus on dual careers: children, careers, equality?

Double career: There are two variants

A study by the German Youth Institute (DJI) identified two variants for the double career of the Future. One was “Duplicating the Male Career Model”. Here, two careerists simply get off to a flying start and more or less hand over child-rearing completely to a third party. With “Dual Career – dual care”, both partners stand on their respective needs .

Because the division "He doctor, she his assistant?" is long gone today! In more and more partnerships, both are highly qualified and want to make a career. At the same time, demands for mobility and flexibility are increasing. How do couples bring partnership and later too Family consistent with career?

Universities as pioneers?

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But it becomes particularly difficult when there are children. It becomes even more difficult if both partners want to pursue a career despite having children. What can you do? In this case, one is important klare Agreement, best made before children are even there. Rede about that is therefore a basic rule. But even after that, the need to speak does not stop.

Germany's universities have now also recognized how important a good compatibility is and have adjusted to the new dual careerists. So-called dual career centers, which specialize in placing scientists in pairs, are almost part of the standard service at many universities.

The economy makes life difficult for both spouses

The situation is more complex for career couples in Companys. Flexibility and global mobility are in the free Economy provided today. Many couples are therefore in long-distance relationships. If children are involved, it will Time management usually a real stress factor, as many parents know from their own experience. Because even the family networks are often no longer available due to mobility.

Parents and grandparents who would like to look after children do not live on site. Without a nanny or babysitter, it is not possible for both of them to be professionally committed to the same extent at the same time. "Yes, many Mothers want to continue raising their children themselves and not just see them asleep,” says career expert Dagmar Rissler, the female Executives and advises the self-employed.

Alternating career times as a solution model?

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An Solution it could be to give each other career times alternately, for example three years for a man, three years for her Ms., On Coaching can help "to see what I want, what my partner wants, and what do the children need?" Consulting specialized by dual career couples. In the interview on Best of HR – Berufebilder.de®  she stated:

“Especially with couples in ambitious positions, it is important to negotiate living and working conditions that are acceptable to both,” she says. Your couple coaching is about working on your own ability to compromise. This is all the more in demand when career couples have children. “Keeping an eye on the children in addition to the workload of both partners and growing up caring is a balancing act that counseling can support”. 

Always follow your own ideas

Above all, it is important not to get carried away by other people's ideas about family and Job to be guided, but to see which path suits me? For example, some client pairs decided that each would stay at home for two years and take care of the children - and work as self-employed during this time.

Dagmar Rissler also thinks this is a good solution. "The self-employed are often more flexible in terms of location and time." For example, a partner who works creatively or a Online-Shop operates, more easily shift the local focus. Ultimately, however, it is important that each partner supports the other and takes their career ambitions seriously. That means talking about it.

8 tips for a dual career

How do you reconcile children and a career when both partners work successfully are? 8 tips that can help.

  1. Communicating is the key: It is important that both partners agree - preferably before the issue of children is acute.
  2. Discussing conflicts: A dual career plus children is a burden in which conflicts can quickly arise. Allegations do not help. Better: Communicate constructively and resolve conflicts fairly.
  3. Attention expectations: There are no role models for the new models. Most couples have very high expectations of themselves. Best to screw it down!
  4. Finding balance: You have to find a sensible balance between child and job: Sometimes I can direct my child to bed on my cell phone, but not three times a week.
  5. Compromises are necessary: ​​When there are children, you have to be able to do without and make compromises.
  6. Equal rights: It is important that renouncing where it is necessary is not carried out unilaterally by just one partner and that a couple can find good deals with each other.
  7. Delegating work: It can be helpful, for example, to hire a domestic help.
  8. Time management: It is necessary to structure the time appropriately for the family and professional situation.

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