Criticism is so important: "You have to Feedback reverentially, at least it must look like that. So just shut up and look taken. "Or what about the ideal, constructive way to handle feedback?


Humble and grateful?

Awesome to accept and look taken - so you can summarize the common idea of ​​the proper handling of feedback. This is also how you learn it in a seminar - that's what the vaunted feedback rules want. You have to be humbly grateful and say nothing!

This applies all the more, the larger the hierarchical Distance to the feedback provider. If the Executive gives feedback, then you'd better be calm and nod gratefully. Only - is that a useful posture? And if not, is there another, better way?

Feedback and Hierachie

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It exists, but it requires some effort. We maintain that accepting feedback from central Significance not just for them Communication, but for the functioning of Companys is. It must therefore become one of the core competencies for Executives and Employees are counted.

Our approach to Resonance-Feedbacks looks at the process of submitting feedback and also provides pragmatic approaches to receiving feedback. Simpler on a glossy poster with a low single-digit number Regulate however, these do not fit.

This is primarily about feedback in hierarchical contexts, in which different dominance relationships play a role and provide the feedback with the appropriate impact that always arises when addressing from top to bottom. However, the considerations are analogously applicable to all areas of the feedback “life”.

Three perspectives: “You know who it comes from!”

Basically, there are three different perspectives from which one can look at a feedback:

  1. What does the feedback say about yourself, the feedback recipient? What is going on in him / her? (eg "Oh no, I knew that he, the feedback provider, realizes that I really can't do all of this! I'm the wrong person for the job!")
  2. What does it say about the feedback provider? (eg "Well, if he says that ... you know who it comes from!" or: "Aha, now I know what is important to him.")
  3. And what is the content of the feedback?

Ultimately, the consideration of all aspects is useful, whereby the content can only be used if the two other perspectives are adequately considered.

What is resonance feedback?

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However, this is only possible if one is also aware of the other two focuses and sorts his perceptions and makes decisions here. Work is actually required here: thinking and emotion work. Incidentally, this applies to feedback with positive content as well as feedback with negative content.

We've dubbed our approach Resonance Feedback. Because successful feedback processes are based on great awareness on everything that resonates. In many cases, the first reaction to feedback is resistance and insult. However, it is important to find the potential insult that is inherent in all feedback.

Attack on the personality

By this we mean the painful gaze or "attack" on the holy of holies Personality, to what defines us. If feedback does not correspond to our self-image, then reflection work begins. Our self-image is often described as “threatened!” perceived, protected and reflexively defended.

I imagine this - in analogy to the immune system - in such a way that the foreign body “insult” and sometimes “feedback” must be removed! What comes from outside shouldn't be true, otherwise I wouldn't be me, but a mosaic of foreign definitions.

Simply devalue the feedback?

That is why I am pissed and hoped that the acid can decompose the foreign, the coming from the outside, as something that does not belong to me. This can be achieved, for example, by not looking at the content, but simply devaluing the feedback.

In order to preserve one's own identity, we justify ourselves, that is, we make the right ourselves, and thus we legitimize our actions. Thus we protect our ego, the foundation of the personality.

Contradiction reflex and argument

In short: to be offended and Resistance feeling when something doesn't suit me (= something doesn't suit me = it represents a foreign body), that's a normal and completely healthy psychological process. Because the insult protects by referring the cause to the outside – to the person who caused the insult.

We then say to ourselves: “He's making a huge mistake!”, “His feedback completely misses the reality!”, “You should first come to your own front door!”, “What she says is going to me not fair at all. Others see it quite differently! ”,“ I don't have to listen to that any longer! ”

No direct resistance!

Admittedly, we exaggerate, and it will not always be so. But it would be strange if that was not the case, and we ourselves would be able to ward off critical feedback, secretly and internally. This tendency to contradiction, to resistance, to defense is almost reflexive, and thus too often unreflected.

Only when one attentively becomes aware of this internal resonance, one is able to resist the urge to contradict oneself.

Listen, if it hurts

Only when you acknowledge as a feedback recipient that you do not have to be well with feedback until you understand that the so-called constructive feedback is usually constructive for the one who exists, but not necessarily for the one who gets it then you can listen, though it may hurt.

As a feedback, one should be concerned and one can also speak, if one receives a feedback. Only the direct resistance, which we consider to be non-objective.

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