Body language: look instead of words

In our face there are about 20 muscles that are only there to express our feelings. The finest nuances, which are often lost in "heavy" words, can be visualized with it. This has advantages and disadvantages.

Reactions are unconsciously registered

We react with these muscles to external or internal stimuli. Often, these irritating reactions only flit across our facial features for a fraction of a second. Nevertheless, she unconsciously registers our counterpart - and therefore all the more sustainable!

The eyes play a central role in the language of the face. It is not for nothing that one speaks of “the windows to the soul”. she spiegeln reflected our feelings pretty clearly. I can consciously conjure up a smile on my mouth, but whether this smile will also reach my eyes is questionable.

A sincere smile

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A pair of Honestly meant smile spiegelt always also in the eyes. The pupils open and let the light in – and the message of the interlocutor - invade our senses. A truly open attitude is reflected in the enlarged pupils. They unconsciously awaken in others Trust.

However, the pupils only contract light together, let's shut ourselves off from what wants to have an effect on us. We close ourselves to too much light, but also to too much emotion. This Effect is often caused by a more or less strong contraction of the muscles around the Eye underlined - a typical sign of defense, of inner resistance.

The “welcome look”

The eyes are one of our most important communication tools. A greeting without eye contact is not a good way to start a Conversation. By making conscious eye contact, we signal to our counterpart that we have noticed.

Even among strangers PeopleFor example, who are entering an elevator at the same time, brief eye contact is common: “I saw you, I am peaceful, I am not afraid of you and you have nothing to fear from me either.” After a maximum of two seconds, the gaze wanders again.

The threatening look?

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This is how a typical greeting ritual between strangers proceeds – without any words. If we continued to fix our eyes on the stranger next to us in the elevator up to the fifth floor, he would feel extremely uncomfortable, maybe even threatened feel, according to the motto: "What does he want from me?"

In general, in some cultures, a downcast look is not considered a sign of weakness and submission, but rather expresses respect and Esteem out of. In our Western culture, on the other hand, we are used to confronting others, to seek confrontation.

Strength or weakness?

Whoever is looking away is considered unsafe, weak and almost defeated. And that is precisely what matters - especially in the professional world: to win and to be defeated. Either me or you. Only the strong survive.

Restraint is not construed as a virtue but as a weakness. confident Appear is considered the top priority. Any tool is fine with us. The conscious training of our body language is not least because of this currently so popular.

If two understand each other well, a good observer also knows from afar without hearing the words. The two are facing each other, their body is relaxed, no one disturbed the conversation by moving.

As a Spiegel

The posture is similar, almost spiegelwrong, all movements act synchronous. The two are recognizable on the same wavelength. Anyone who is in harmony with the other person tends to agree with the other person's attitude as well spiegeln.

Lays the one Head slightly crooked, so does the other imperceptibly. If one folds his arms, the other does too - not a sign of resistance, but perhaps just agreement that the point is a bit sensitive, and for both of them. They speak a common language not only with words.

At eye level?

The situation is different if these Harmony is consciously disturbed. This happens exactly when one of the conversation partners suddenly turns to the side and turns their bones towards the other. The waves of conversation bounce off, are thrown back. "I'm not accepting your message, I'm sending it back!"

An important prerequisite for the same wavelength is the respective speaking position of the individual “transmitters”. Our Communication is disturbed, for example, by the fact that one person is sitting and the other is standing. If we are not on the same level, the effort involved in creating a good atmosphere for discussion is much greater.

Clear fronts

This barrier can also be deliberately used in conversational situations. Of the Executive, who sits on his "throne" while the visitor has to make do with the "penitent chair", wants to create clear fronts from the start.

He is probably not interested in having an equal interlocutor. Superior and subordinate should clear be fixed.

The situation is similar with the typical "official calls": One - the "petitioner" - stands in front of the table of the "almighty official" and has to be slightly forward to present his concerns - not a good start to a conversation!

Criticism from the superior position

On the other hand, it is easy to argue in an aggressive tone from above. If an employee stands next to a colleague sitting at a desk, he can hold his own in this position Criticism express from a superior position.

If the colleague remains seated, and may even retreat before the verbal attack, sinking even further into his chair, the aggressor has gotten the upper water.

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