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By Tom Diesbrock (More) • Last updated on October 20.11.2023, XNUMX • First published on 21.09.2012/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 5811 readers, 1799 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
If you were put in front of a large scale with two scales and asked to put all your strengths and Competencies and in the other all yours weaknesses to lay - which side would show more weight? What is your spontaneous answer?
For a lot of people it looks like this: “Sure, a lot of people manage to find a great new job. If I could do it, I would of course do the same. But quite Honestly: I can't do anything that goes beyond my current job profile. People would laugh at me if I wanted something else!"
If you have the negative page clear prevails, then you are not alone. I would guess that the majority of People it would be very difficult mentally to first fill the bowl full to the brim for their weaknesses. Because this seems to me to be much easier for most of us.
Many find it difficult and uncomfortable to think about or even talk about our own strengths. I often hear the self-assessment: "I am actually not really good at anything." And many respond so out of deep conviction and not out of modesty!
At the same time, they have the abilities of other people, of friends, colleagues and acquaintances, usually a much more positive picture. When it comes to the light and dark sides of others, our judgment is usually quite balanced (unless we are very outrageous characters) - but we prefer to put our own light under the bushel.
If we assess others much more competently than ourselves, our perception must be a bit "crazy". Why is that? Than not quite Boy As a rule, we humans have at least one professional one Vocational Training Graduated, perhaps studied, learned a lot on the job, continued our education, pursued different interests - and we have certainly gained a lot of life experience.
And yet we should hardly have any skills that are necessary for our professional Reorientation could be relevant? Can this really be? In the Coaching I often experience that people who initially have a rather negative self-image can actually put together a long list of their skills and strengths - if they dare to take a closer look and also ask other people's assessments.
In the end, many are surprised to find: “I can do a lot more than I thought!” So: Not being able to is something completely different from not being able toBackground (what you can)! But it is light to confuse. Why are we so unaware of our strengths? A negative self-image can of course have many causes.
People who have been in one for a long time Job work, even if they have climbed a few steps up the career ladder, often think they only have skills that they use in the course of their job, true to the motto: "I've been a banker for 20 years, so I can only do what Bankers can." This then shows a very narrow identity rather than a realistic self-assessment.
Stupid is only when we mix this up. Many people describe themselves as realists while telling me that they are not really good at anything. A negative self-image is primarily a matter of exercise!
Why do we give ourselves so much trouble to build up a gloomy picture of our abilities and hold on to it? The price we pay for it - often an intimate relationship with a dead horse - is not exactly small.
But we never develop one Behavior or an attitude without – mostly unconsciously – promising us an advantage. And that very often lies in protecting ourselves from attacks by others according to the principle: "I'd rather make myself small before someone else does it."
The idea of trusting myself and believing in my abilities and then being laughed at by others is a nightmare for most of us! And that's very human, because we all have huge ones Anxiety from devaluation and shame. But how big is the risk that we will be met like this as adults?
That we could be exposed as an “impostor” who can do much less than he claims? Isn't this a child's fear and perspective? We'll see later that in fact, when there are fears in the game, we often react inappropriately.
Without a good self-assessment of my competencies, professional changes are difficult to achieve.
When in doubt, I will always be against good options decidebecause I don't trust myself enough. And if I've made myself smaller and smaller for a long time, the only professional option left to me is my dead horse.
In my work, I have met people who, despite their diploma and doctorate, remained in a job that was far below their potential - because they thought that more was simply not possible.
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Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author. Tom Diesbrock himself has had a winding career: starting with a medical degree, working on a music project and as a photo editor, he studied psychology and founded a practice for psychotherapy. Today he works in Hamburg as a coach and psychological consultant. One focus of his work is accompanying people in their professional reorientation. His book “Your horse is dead? Get off! " has been translated into several languages, his new book “Jetzt mal Butter bei die Fisch!” will be published in October. More information at tomdiesbrock.de All texts by Tom Diesbrock.
I don't know about you, but I feel like a lack of confidence is pretty much the root of everything.
This is a nice text, but unfortunately something does not work with the commentary Fourmular and does not react to the editing, I had to start over again.
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