From the author:
Beliefs from his childhood
In his childhood, Robert K. was a bright and curious boy, who approached people without difficulty and addressed them in his naive, childlike manner. Every time he was with his parents, it did not take long and he went out and spoke to wildly alien people in his environment.
His parents were initially amused, but after a while they started banning Robert from approaching other people. They then said: “You don't do that. You bother people. Leave the people alone, they don't want that. ” Robert complied and soon stopped speaking to other people and he got the recognition of his parents.
When Robert K. in his mid-thirties decided to start his own business, he came to my practice as part of a business start-up coaching to learn how to acquire new customers. Robert K. quickly understood on the cognitive level how acquisition worked, but he did not manage to pick up the phone and call out-of-the-box people, to be, his product, and his Company imagine.
Only in the follow-up sessions of the coaching did he realize that due to a belief - in this case: "You are disturbing the other people" - he was unable to start his telephone acquisition. We changed this belief and after a short time Robert could appear free and successfully promote himself and his company.
Hold on to security: How beliefs affect our lives
This little anecdote shows how strong beliefs are, where they come from and how they influence our lives. Faiths are not fundamentally bad, because they also ensure that we live according to certain ethical principles and are not just selfish. In many cases, however, they stand in our way.
But why do we develop our beliefs at all? Beliefs and beliefs give us support and a feeling of security. For many of us, such beliefs are like a railing that we can walk along and that protects us from disappointments. They are also important for our survival because they help us to classify and react to information quickly and safely.
Our convictions cause us pain
In doing so, they give our lives stability, security, protection and continuity. For example, we do not have to think about whether we should give the attractive colleague a pat on the buttocks - just like that. Or tell the boss the opinion, because he again proposes things that are not feasible in practice.
In fact, these beliefs can contribute a great deal to the pain and disappointment of our lives, as we are often attracted by our expectations, which are confirmed by our beliefs.
Negative thoughts always confirmed
The clerk is never offered a raise because she never demands one. Here the belief could be: "I am not valuable."
The employee who always says that if jobs are cut will be the first to be fired. The belief that is confirmed here could be: "I am not important."
The power of perception
A good and fairly simple way to get rid of your obstructive beliefs is simply to do the opposite of what you usually do. The perfidious thing about our beliefs is that it is difficult to prove the opposite.
Because we look at things from a very specific point of view. Go inside yourself: if what you believed from the start has occurred, you will see yourself confirmed. On the other hand, if things turned out differently, you will probably not notice this fact at all. Because much of what we see and perceive depends on our attitude.
What we believe need not be true ...
It is already in the word itself, because it is finally called beliefs and not truth sentences or the like. Yet, for most of us, these convictions represent an irrefutable fact with which we are often much more difficult than necessary.
It is possible at any time to change our beliefs, especially if they are not good for us. The sooner you begin to cautiously question your beliefs, the easier it will be for you to get rid of harmful beliefs!
How difficult are changes?
My clients keep asking me, “Is it difficult to change restrictive beliefs?”
I always answer with a categorical: “No.”
How do you change your attitude?
There are different ways to change your limiting ways of life. The Internet is full of it and many coaches offer different methods to change negative, restrictive beliefs.
Not all methods are suitable for everyone. Therefore, I have allowed myself to list this series a list of my most successful techniques for changing beliefs.
These are exercises that have been described by my clients as being well applicable and successful, always leading to changes in their beliefs. Read through all the methods in peace and I'm sure that is the right one for you. I wish you success!
The new causation chain
This creates a new causal chain. The resulting experiences lead to new insights, which in turn lead to new patterns of thinking. The new paradigm creates new action.
For example, just say “No” in a situation in which your surroundings live in the expectation that you will receive a “Yes”. Dare and see what happens.
Drying exercises in the pedestrian zone
Another possibility is in the book "Fearless Selling" by the psychologist and Best of HR – Berufebilder.de®-Author Martin Christian Morgenstern.
The specialist in mental techniques recommends, for example, inhibitions in the sales pitch, to go to a pedestrian zone and there to address any topic strangers.
You will feel just as much inhibitions as in customer discussions, for example if you call a high price for your service offer.
Through the dry exercise in the pedestrian zone, however, their brain can experience that inhibitions can be overcome and no serious consequences occur. You will find that after such an opposing exercise you are much easier to do things that seemed impossible before.
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German edition: ISBN 9783965961609
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