- The fairy tale of poor Schmitt
- Say no - but please on time!
- School games: when other guilty feelings exploit
- Achieve XNUMX% and never say “no”?
- Perfectionists cannot say “no”
- Saying “No” in good time prevents the big bang
- Better to avoid the stress right away
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The fairy tale of poor Schmitt
Sometimes you're just closed nice for this World. Or at least it seems so. Colleague Schmitt, for example, complains about his back pain: He hasn't had any the whole night Eye devoted to the day in Office he survived only with painkillers. Oh my, oh my.. if you couldn't join in the stack of files for him so that he at least gets home on time today...
You can - because you are not a monster. Poor Schmitt, bad back pain like that, he can not do anything, let him rest.
Say no - but please on time!
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And oh wonder, Schmitt is doing wonderfully the whole of the next day. Great you think he's fully there. And allow yourself a little Criticism in his work, which you noticed while working through the file pile.
But oh dear, suddenly the back pain is back, Schmitt squirms in pain on the chair, he also has a headache, the poor guy. In the end it's still your fault because you dared to close it criticize.So you apologize. "Yes," Schmitt hacks in immediately, "Your criticism has that for sure still promoted...” And of course we will stay longer today to work through the next stack of files, because Schmitt is of course gone earlier again.
School games: when other guilty feelings exploit
School games call these psychological consequences. The deliberate or unconscious defense of a bad conscience that is based on a social convention - in this case: Schmitt is sick and weak, you have to help him.
Such People sometimes shamelessly exploit the willingness to help, even without them noticing. So you want to accommodate people a little, give them a helping hand – but they always want more than you are willing to give, ideally all of it Hand, oh even the whole arm.
Achieve XNUMX% and never say “no”?
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And then? What happens if you Executive She asks yet fast a special task for him that only you can do or a colleague begs you to step in as a good buddy for him? This is where the big dilemma begins, especially for perfectionist, anxious natures. In such cases, they grudgingly say yes and take on the unplanned additional work - and, typical perfectionist, XNUMX%.
Because the motto of perfectionists is: "Everything that is not XNUMX percent is not good!" Could this sentence be from you? And don't you try hard enough and exhaust yourself to reach XNUMX percent? Now think about it: aren't there things in your life that are not XNUMX percent - and still good?
Perfectionists cannot say “no”
Reason: You can't say "no" and always achieve so much Anxiety to make themselves unpopular-And it falls upon them with their desire Control hard, work on colleagues or Employees to give up that they don't trust. For perfectionists, there is a sense of security in being considered irreplaceable. For this reason, they often burden themselves with additional work that completely exceeds their schedule and them even more Stress cause.
Then it comes to the point where the smiths of this world are bellowed, until they no longer know where the front and back are, because they are really so small and weak. And one is also still the asshole, because one has made the weak, sick Schmitt to the sow.
Saying “No” in good time prevents the big bang
And the moral of the story? Say “No” in good time. About the second batch of files. When you realize that your goodwill is being exploited. Reasonably explain to the boss and your colleagues why you cannot comply with their requests.
After all, the colleague has already been accommodated. Sure, at first you feel like a bad person. But now think about things that annoy you yourself: Aren't you annoyed twenty times a day by their chaos? And do you hold that against your colleague in the long run? No. It's the same with your rejection. Even if they are angry at first or insulted are, your colleagues will also see in the long run that it doesn't work that way - and respect you for it.
Better to avoid the stress right away
And you have saved yourself and – always remember – others a lot of stress! Because that's not why you sometimes have so much Fun at work and things are going so well because you have less stress and can see things a little more easily? Or that Meeting last week: Actually, the boss wanted to discuss something completely different. But then the discussion got completely chaotic, but some very good ones came out ideas on the table.
With a little thought, you will probably come up with many such examples, all of which are not XNUMX percent, but still good! Because if you say no and don't do something perfectly, it doesn't mean that you are faulty or sloppy. It depends on the right measure. And in the end you set the right measure yourself! Because the others usually expect less from you than yourself. Therefore your “No” is also accepted.
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