Small talk & the power of sympathy: it's actually about love!

Who says he likes Small Talk would do, lies. It's not about the small talk per se. It's about wanting to be liked. Because that is exactly what inspires us and lets us relax.

Looking for recognition

When we're in a group, everyone with a cocktail glass in their Hand, there is nothing more beautiful, warmer and uplifting than the feeling: “Wow! They all listen to me! And they think I'm great! They love me!"

Anyone who hasn't reflected on this will never understand why we all long for a high level of small talkExpertise wish. It is the most powerful of all human motives: undivided, unadulterated, honest recognition. Babies die if they don't have them. Adults too, emotionally. Hans is alive. He almost comes alive when the Eyes of the nice supporter light up. Why are they glowing?

Everyone can actually talk small!

The books on the subject (advertising)

As soon as Hans his blockages has overcome, his usual fluency turns on again: After all, he is a department head. That means he can talk. That is part of his leadership skills. That's why he automatically gets some things right that others may have to learn first: That's exactly what Hans does intuitively. He asks about the effects of what he just heard Presentation to the work of the supporter.

Listening is silver, right questions are gold

This is also a bombproof recipe because: If you ask, you always get an answer! The motto is: Don't tell anyone anything! Nobody likes high school teachers and talkers. Let the other person tell you: Ask! And above all open Ask.

Greenhorns often ask closed questions: "Don't you think our sales manager is a bit pompous too?" How can one answer that? Actually only yes or No – and in both cases the conversation is over before it even begins. Because it started monosyllabic in the sense of the word. So ask openly: how, why, wherefore, what for, what for or "What do you think of it?"

Why small talk tips are actually superfluous

Discounts for your success (advertising)!

Small talk seminars are actually superfluous. Also contributions to the small talk - like this one here. For a simple reason: we can all speak fluently! Always and everywhere. And yet you still read. Why?

Because we can talk anytime, anywhere, but unfortunately often not when it matters most. That means it's not because of our language. It's the blockage. Anyone who overcomes this, like Hans, then develops his natural language skills, which he has had all his life successfully accompanied. So the bulk of small talk coaching should be about loosely breaking down these useful blocks. Why useful?

Useful blocks

Speech blocks are useful because they want to protect us from embarrassment (the so-called secondary benefit). Therefore, they make us fall silent, stutter or blush. When we get the blockage clear can make that freedom from embarrassment can also be achieved differently or that a little embarrassment does not kill anyone, the blockage disappears. Because it served its purpose.

For example, Hans said to himself shortly before he went to Canossa: “Come on, you've been with them for 20 years Company and she for two weeks! She will be happy if you make her feel welcome!" Some giggle at this point: A fully grown production manager, salary Easily over 100 euros, talking to yourself?

Internal dialogue

Yes. This is called inner dialogue: if the inner dialogue works, the outer one also works. If you can talk to yourself, you can also talk to anyone else People. As on the inside, so on the outside. Therefore: The better you deal with your blockages, the better you deal with other people. Dealing with blockages also includes the physical aspect: palpitations, redness Head, sweaty hands, stomach pressure.

Some guides recommend: “Take a deep breath!” Unfortunately, this is nonsense, as everyone knows who has ever hyperventilated: You can get yourself off the ceiling by breathing into a bag to reduce the oxygen supersaturation.

The right tip against stage fright

Therefore, the right tip against stage fright and fear of contact is: exhale deeply. Multiple and deep. So deep that you can then take a break. Give it a try. Now. The calming effect is immediately noticeable, right?

You can google the scientific background for this under “Buteyko”. Konstantin Pavlevich Buteyko has pioneered the calming effects of forced exhalation. That's why Hans approaches the nice supporter very easily.

Top books on the subject

Read text as PDF

Acquire this text as a PDF (only for own use without passing it on according to Terms and conditions): Please send us one after purchase eMail with the desired title supportberufebilder.de, we will then send the PDF to you immediately. You can also purchase text series.

4,99€Buy

Advice on success, goal achievement or marketing

You have questions about Career, Recruiting, personal development or increasing reach? Our AI consultant will help you for 5 euros a month – free for book buyers. We offer special ones for other topics IT services

5,00€ / per month   Book

Book eCourse on Demand

Up to 30 lessons with 4 learning tasks each + final lesson as a PDF download. Please send us one after purchase eMail with the desired title supportberufebilder.de. Alternatively, we would be happy to put your course together for you or offer you a personal, regular one eMail-Course - all further information!

29,99€Buy

Skate eBook as desired

If our store does not offer you your desired topic: We will be happy to put together a book according to your wishes and deliver it in a format of yours Choice. Please sign us after purchase supportberufebilder.de

79,99€Buy