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Disclosure & copyrights: Text originally from: “Schlaggeschigkeit” (2015), published by Haufe Verlag, reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
From Dr. Matthias Nöllke (More) • Last updated on October 05.01.2024, XNUMX • First published on 09.03.2016/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 4385 readers, 1640 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
What to do if you want to get ready? We will show you how you can defend and parry in different degrees of hardness.
In boxing it is considered illegal Behaviorto hug his opponent. Because whoever is hugged can no longer strike. After all, in a boxing match, fists are supposed to fly. Different on the topic quick-wittedness: Here the verbal hug is not only allowed, but often an excellent means of countering spiteful attacks. This is especially true when the altercation is in front of you Audience plays, that is, colleagues or random witnesses listen in.
At first glance, embrace technology does not seem particularly impressive. Yes, it seems like you are surrendering to the attacker. But you do not. On the contrary, you steer clear of the situation - and make the other look rather bad. You want to do something like that, because you are acting against the logic of the situation: your opponent attacks you, makes an angry, possibly even an offense. As a man ready to strike, one has to defend oneself and fight back. You do not have to.
It's amazing what a Effect You can achieve by surprising your drooling counterpart with a compliment. That's not easy, because there shouldn't be the slightest doubt that your words of appreciation are meant seriously. An ironic or even malicious undertone destroys the effect of your "hug".
But how are you supposed to give someone a sincere compliment when they're throwing crap at you? That is what it consists of Art the "hug technique" that works surprisingly well. Now you shouldn't start a charm offensive that nobody will buy from you anyway. A small, not entirely unbelievable compliment is enough to turn the situation around.
In a daily talk show, a slightly older half-world size appeared: a scrawny gentleman with dyed blond hair and thick rings. The audience pounced on him with malicious comments. One in particular Boy Ms. got excited. He is a "joke character" and the like. But the skinny blonde reacted calmly: He thinks it's a shame that she says something like that about him. Because he had the impression that she “actually quite nice" may be.
That doesn't exactly read like the magic break. Yet that little remark had a colossal impact. The insults stopped immediately. It was still Criticism practiced, but the attacks were no longer directed against him. Judging by the fact that almost everyone in the audience was against him, he got off unexpectedly well. And that is remarkable in an environment in which the riot is fueled rather than suppressed.
It certainly takes a little effort, but in a heated situation, a small compliment can really do wonders act. It doesn't even have to be particularly accurate (as our example shows). It is much more important that you do not let the excitement infect you in such a situation, but remain absolutely calm, confident and nice.
You must not give the impression that you are agreeing with the attacker or submitting to him. The rule applies: Insults are not discussed. Rather, you can express your regret that your interlocutor is “not objective”: “Otherwise I value you as a clever interlocutor and would have liked to talk to you about how to do that Problem could tackle.”
The hugging technique can do astonishing things. But you should only use it sparingly. Because it loses its effect as soon as the others have the impression: This is your “trick” to take the uncomfortable attacks at the top.
As an outsider, one is sometimes amazed at how good these are Technology functions. Someone attacks someone else, criticizes them harshly, and as soon as he counters with a compliment, he becomes critic tame. There is actually a certain danger in that when you are in the role of the critic yourself. If you ask your manager or a colleague to Rede and who pulls himself out of the affair in this way. That means staying tough. You will find that this is not so at all light is. Sometimes it helps to simply address the maneuver in question. As the journalist Günter Gaus im Conversation with the politician Kurt Biedenkopf. When asked critically, he first praised him, to which Gaus remarked without a smile: "I can't be bribed by compliments either."
In connection with the verbal hugs is also a technique that is more suitable for grumpy remarks and which we want to call the "good mood switch". The point is that your sovereignty Preserve by not being infected by the bad mood of your opponent, but demonstratively with a good mood against it.
If you make a fuss, do not bounce back, but respond cheerfully or with kindness. The basic idea: you are not infected by the bad mood of your opponent. If he's going to kill her alone, you'll stay relaxed and relaxed. This is why you remain sovereign.
On the plane, Ms. Dettmer folds her backrest backwards. One growls from behind voice: "If you put your backrest a little forward, then I can still sit!" Ms. Dettmer is short and laughingly explains: "But for you with the greatest pleasure."
Before adding an ironic tip to your answer ("For so nice People I like doing that sort of thing…”), remember: Without a tip, you're better off getting out of the situation and not having to listen to more surly comments.
However, if you are personally belittled or even scorned, flipping the “good mood switch” is not enough. Then you should fight back harder. Because the good mood switch is a soft technique with which you can counter unpleasantness and gruff comments with ease.
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Dr. Matthias Nöllke studied communication sciences, politics and literature. He has been working as an author and keynote speaker for many years, including for Bayerischer Rundfunk and for numerous companies. He has published over 20 successful guides and non-fiction books at Haufe Verlag. All texts from Dr. Matthias Nöllke.
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