There are several techniques for dealing with attacks. If ignoring doesn't help anymore, you should be aware of what exactly is bothering you about the situation - and do something about it.
- From positive thinking to affirmation
- Like a counter-charm
- Who's crying is not right
- Use inverse logic
- Agree instead of annoy
- The art of not reacting
- Take time for the reaction
- A strategy that works
- Repartee as a mental protective screen
- The power of the subconscious: Have positive self-talk
- How does the response reflex work?
- You do not have to answer every question
- Edit justification reflex
- Avoid answering any question
- React, instead of being offended
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From positive thinking to affirmation
Talk to yourself well. If no one is listening, also out loud: “I'm calm. One by one. How do I find that? Calm down blood, everything will be fine. " This is how the pastor and author Norman Vincent Peale became the most popular exponent of positive thinking outside of psychotherapy. Even in the new millennium, his approach to mental techniques is by no means old style and is found in the Concept even one of the affirmations of Noah St. John increase.
Other than the affirmations, affirmations trigger actively shaping processes on a mental level - and this through a small and powerful “editorial” intervention.
Like a counter-charm
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An example is a wailing whine of your partner or your partner. First, be aware that there is a subtle way of control that you can consciously accept or reject.
This becomes particularly difficult when, for example, tears are the “usual” means of Choice are to appeal to your helpfulness and compliance. Here, too, helps in terms of quick-wittedness and creating distance the separation from Information and emotion.
Who's crying is not right
You will soon realize that tears are just an expression of momentary feelings and at best a statement of the emotional distress experienced by everyone else People can be different in the same situation.
Tears do not say anything about whether someone is right and therefore basically a claim to our support.
Use inverse logic
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Auch im Job you can use this kind of inverse logic and then react completely differently than expected. Ask yourself:
- What did the other actually say?
- Is there any interruption that you have just found impertinent?
- Is there a part that you might even agree with?
Agree instead of annoy
Praise this part, ignore the rest, and then continue your own argumentation
“Exactly Mr. Maier, we agree on point X. Let us now turn to the things that we should also consider and that complete the picture. ”
The art of not reacting
The Objective this exercise is different from the supposed mandatory to emotionally react to it Behavior to solve others. Chancellor Angelika Merkel is a true master in the Technology, quick-witted by not reacting act and thus initiate political decisions.
Their apparent idleness is one of the classic themes of every current political cabaret artist. Not bad for a person who has consistently been considered the most powerful for years Ms. of the World referred to as.
Take time for the reaction
Angela Merkel ignores media representatives and political opponents, no matter how loudly they demand a statement from the Chancellor. It adjourns rather than spontaneously making a directional decision, avoiding the possible traps of your opponents. The Chancellor takes the time to determine your reactions and then acts confidently.
You can also do this on talk shows ArtAdmiring not to react as a form of quick wit. The fact that politicians simply ignore a question or an attack by an opponent is no coincidence, but deliberate Strategy.
A strategy that works
And the apparent non-reaction as a strategy works! It shows the opponent how the balance of power is distributed: Whoever answers every question, is deeper in the hierarchy than the skillful silence.
A zero reaction shows that you don't let the course of the conversation dictate you. If you want to approach such situations a little more playfully, you can always remain interested and benevolently silent Conversation Participate without having to react to the tenacity of your opponents. Maybe you really don't want that.
Repartee as a mental protective screen
But why do we always have to react to attacks? Because people usually can't stand open questions. But we can do this response reflex outsmart.
Positive self-talk is not cheap or even ineffective Tricks from successful coaches of the last century. Émile Coué, the founder of modern, conscious autosuggestion, healed his patients with the sentence: "Every day I feel better and better in every respect!" This affirmation releases affirmative, unconscious forces.
The power of the subconscious: Have positive self-talk
While Émile Coué would offer us a statement like, "I get smart every day," Noah St. John would ask a question, "Why am I smart?" As with any question, the subconscious will automatically look for answers that we can only understand if we understand them.
This is also the case if we really should not be ready at all. But we are already getting ready to be ready and to develop our resources: we will be able to cope better even in difficult situations, because we already know how quick-wittedness feels.
How does the response reflex work?
Think about your absolute favorite book. Where did you buy this book? - Once you have read this question, you will have mentally gone back in time to be able to answer it. For example, you remember the bookstore, the order page in the Internet or because you saw the book at a friend's.
Maybe he even lent it to you or even given it to you. This is an example of the so-called response reflex. They have already known him above in the state control through affirmations. People are questioning beings and can not tolerate open questions.
You do not have to answer every question
So use this reflex and apply it to your attackers. Should he do the work himself! German journalist and former editor of Capital magazine, Johannes Gross, said in this Sinn:
“Good parents teach their children: Thou shalt not lügen! They forget to teach the child: You don't have to answer every question."
Edit justification reflex
As soon as two people meet, it becomes a game of SALE and reaction. Attacks or accusations lead, for example fast to justifications. This is not necessary!
Pay attention to key actions like these: When asked why, we usually justify ourselves with “Because…”. Attacks provoke defenses or counterattacks. It's ours Opinions once said, we hardly move away from it.
Avoid answering any question
Avoid answering any question or responding to any reproaches. Next time someone says to you:
"You had promised me it would work that way!" Then explain - nothing. For explanations, you will most likely only reap ingratitude or indignation. Instead, say, "I was obviously wrong."
React, instead of being offended
It is the same with the personal one Criticism. When you criticize yourself personally feel, do not discuss this criticism. But react immediately! The longer you tolerate an attack, the harder it will be to defend against it later:
"That may be, but at the moment we are talking about ..." "Before I answer: Be so kind and give us your name. This way we can all get to know each other a little better. ”
Always remember: if you claim something, you must prove it and you should be able to sign it personally! Maybe even in court.
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