Body language: defense mechanisms

Our shoulders are important building blocks of our physical defensive wall. Pulling it up, we protect our neck, which is an extremely vulnerable part of our body. Here our main lifebloom flows through, an attack on it can be deadly.

Like a turtle

Who is from a Conversation wants to pull back imperceptibly draws in his neck and hunches his shoulders. The neck is made as short as possible to reduce the attack surface.

This not only blocks us from attacks, but also from new, perhaps threatening ones ideas. We also call this posture the turtle posture.

Move away unpleasant

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If we want to push an unpleasant situation away from us, we often do so not only with hands and feet, but with the whole body.

The Executive stretches in conversation with his Employees can hands defending this forwards, directs the legs with raised toes as well and at the same time leans back as far as possible in his chair.

When the body signals defenses

The whole body signals defense, no matter what its words also express: "This is an interesting proposal, Mr. Meier!" - Poor Mr. Meier, his suggestion will probably end up in the large storage area called a waste basket!

Our body has a whole series of threatening gestures that serve to intimidate, "push away" the conversational opponent or protect themselves.

The "anger-swollen" chest is a clear sign: Who fluffed up like a fighting cock, has no peaceful, harmonious conversation in the Sinn.

John Wayne look

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The classic gunslinger stands wide-legged, hands ready at all times and already in a "firing position" - an outstretched thumb - near the belt, with a focused look and the setting sun behind him on the village street of "Showdown-City".

His whole body expresses the highest tension, willingness to attack at any time. Every opponent correctly interprets this body language signal. But also without a holster revolver, without dramatic background music and a “John Wayne look”:

Ammunition of words and looks

We find this gesture again in one or the other interlocutor. The light bent arms with the elbows pointing upwards and the hand more or less ready to shoot at the side act menacing - even if the ammunition consists only of words and looks!

But not only threatening gestures create barriers in a conversation. Even gestures of openly displayed arrogance disturb them Harmony often crucial.

Confident or arrogant?

In a team meeting, a participant leans back demonstratively and folds his arms behind the Head, at first glance he seems relaxed, casual, self confident.

But what does his gesture really say? He presents his sensitive soft tissues openly and without defense (the hands are “fixed” behind the head), yes, he almost provokes an attack.

Distance zones - everyone feels different

Who the other so clear indicates that he neither fears nor takes his attack seriously, is very aware of his cause for sure. "Whatever arguments you bring up now, mine is the best, my position as the winner is absolutely unassailable!"

People perceive physical closeness differently. One has a hard time with the general practice of greeting kisses, the other can't get close enough to his fellow human beings.

Where do the differences come from?

These differences arise, on the one hand, from our different perceptions - depending on which are more pronounced: hearing, seeing or feeling - and, on the other hand, our experiences so far.

Our social Distance starts at 1,50 meters and goes up to about two meters. This is where everyone we meet in everyday work has a place: employees, bosses, customers, Seller etc. A pretty tight space for so many people!

Social minimum distance

This minimum social distance can not always be met. Very often we also have to move wildly. Just think about the situation in the crowded subway, the crowded elevator, the dentist or the hairdresser.

Everywhere we feel the others up close. We defend ourselves unconsciously: sometimes with the simple turning to the side - also here our bone side is used again.

When proximity becomes unavoidable

We withdraw into ourselves, our body “ignores” the proximity, we try to avoid a conversation in such situations as much as possible.

At the dentist and the hairdresser, we can hardly turn aside, because we have to accept the crossing of the distance zone.

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