Leadership satire: Write log

Monday morning, 08:00 a.m. Hannes is sitting in Office and prepares for the board meeting. A weekly ritual. Starts at 08:30 a.m., coffee at 10 a.m.

Dic preparation

The latter is deleted spontaneously because of the overloaded list of tasks. Official ending 11.45 clock, in fact never before 12.30 clock. That's why Hannes prophylactically approves the coffee and lets his apple crack between his teeth.

The apple is new, it used to be cake. Since the internal “fit-for-work” program, the members of the executive board have selected intermediate meals according to the model approach.

The non-favorite job reaches him

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In the middle of the physical and mental preparations, his cell phone rings - the office number has already been switched to the secretary's office. being Executive search him. “Could you take the minutes of the meeting today? Ms. Blatter is ill. Because you have the fewest items on the agenda, I would like to give you this important task. You know, basically, the minute taker is the most important person – next to the boss.”

"I'll do it," says Hannes light grumpy back. Reluctantly he thinks to himself: “I have to. So much for 'the most important person'…a clumsy flattery.” Hannes just doesn't feel like the second most important person Company.

The session begins

Punctually - as always - everyone greets each other friendly and the boss opens with the same, officially funny saying for years: "then we burst". A short, staged warm-up laugh and you sit down - as always - in the same places.

The boss begins: "I would like to say hello to you all". Hannes takes notes and stumbles over the word “would like”. Why "want"? He could just do it. Should Hannes now write “Declaration of Intent” for agenda item 1 “Welcome”? He has no time to think about it. It continues with the words "Today we have a 'sporty' Agenda (this saying is always the same, just like the calculated one Lachen all).

The agenda items are swept through

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The sales manager presents the sales figures for the past week. These have been looking bad for a long time. His voice been with more self-confidence soaked. "Why didn't you step on the gas more?" asks the boss. The sales manager: “The market situation is extraordinary. Meanwhile, the competitors produce almost exclusively in China and have better prices”.

The production manager shifts restlessly in his chair: “We are already working with them Costs at the lower limit. I cannot accept that we are to blame for the poor sales”. The boss intervenes and stops the accusations with the words: "One would have to look at where we have optimization possibilities so that we can become a little more competitive in terms of costs." Everyone nods non-verbally and mumbles “just right”. Once again, the boss nailed it. Hannes diligently takes notes until the expression “you just have to…” makes him falter. His log is now missing who does what by when. Perhaps this statement is just a declaration of intent.

The second half begins

One is already behind schedule with the items on the agenda. The boss suggests that they skip the coffee break as an exception. "No Problem” the group echoes.

The HR-Head suggests that you might have a full-day session to plan could, to the mountain of unfinished business Tasks to dismantle "Good Idea”, is the echo, the boss specifies: “We should tackle that”. Hannes takes notes and thinks about “declaration of intent or Objective? "

Memoranda of Understanding

In a brisk staccato, the members of the management clocked their way through Shops. Hannes observes how some are officially taking notes on the tablet. Upon returning to his office, he will eMails received by his colleagues from the management who wrote them in the morning. That can be done well camouflaged.

Mark the nerd, but eMails write. Hannes catches the thought “declaration of intent” a few more times. He makes a sport of it, counting phrases like “one should” or “one should” in a personal statistic. 7 times 'you should' and 1 time 'you should'. Oh… after all “7: 1 ″… .was that a soccer World Cup summer in Brazil…

After four hours of busy sitting, the boss comes to the end. "I hope that injury time has not harmed you". Always the same saying, but since the footballers' World Cup title it has at least received a positive aftertaste. It is 12.30:XNUMX p.m. and the boss says goodbye with the usual departure: “I would like to thank you very much”. It would have been the last letter of intent that morning….

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