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Disclosure & Copyrights: Image material created as part of a free collaboration with Shutterstock. Text originally from: “The power of hidden signals: choice of words – body language – emotions. Recognizing and overcoming non-verbal resistance” (2014), published by Linde Verlag, reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
From Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka (More) • Gabrielle Schranz (More) • Last updated on October 10.02.2024, XNUMX • First published on 23.08.2018/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 7147 readers, 1561 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
In the course of its development, humans have learned to use weapons and tools. Tools support the activity of the hands, they represent the “extension” of our body.
An insurance salesman learns in his first sales training course that the amount of the premium is always before the Eyes of customers to calculate. Incomprehensible documents automatically generate resistance on the part of the customer. Only those who play with open cards appear convincing.
Another popular power game at the conference table is reaching into other people's documents. Similar to exceeding the distance zone, we find it aggressive Behavior, if someone tampers with our documents - whether friend or foe, whether Executive or negotiator.
We automatically try to defend our territory and deliberately adjust the documents. One will quickly Conversation dominated by such territorial struggles, the factual arguments recede more and more. Defense battle instead of space gain!
The same is true of unconscious territorial extraction at the negotiating table: the one who considers himself particularly important, spreads his documents extensively.
He thereby defines his sphere of influence and restricts the space of the other. He will hardly be willing to make concessions as long as he keeps his front lines on the battlefield like that clear has staked!
But not only items are used to support the body language, clothing and accessories also unconsciously set signs:
Buttoned or shirt-sleeved - these adjectives relate not only to clothing style, but also to the way you communicate. If the boss loosens his tie in the staff meeting, he is sending a signal: From now on it will be informal, just say what's on your mind!
Both overly correct, stiff clothing and overly casual clothing act as a barrier in conversation.
Which clothing is seen as suitable, as well as the actual body language, depends on the common wavelength, according to the motto “like and like people like to join”. Despite all the tolerance in fashion issues, we like to look for our own Spiegelpicture.
Expectations play a role here. The Boy, up-and-coming employees should certainly appear in business suits, but please not with a designer piece that appears more elegant than that of the senior boss!
Little children learn very soon how helpful the use of objects can be. The cooking spoon, hit on the table, produces much more efficient noise than your own little baby hand!
Even as adults, we are reluctant to part with such knowledge that we have come to love. The boss underlines his Criticism no longer by the wooden spoon, this has since been replaced by an exquisite writing implement, but the sound of metal on wood still sounds very convincing!
So we often supplement our body language with the use of objects, making these signs even clearer, as if we wanted to call out our words even louder.
Anyone who uses a ballpoint pen or pencil to point out his arguments by pointing to a different one, looks like a medieval knight with his spear. When will he hurt his opponent with his arguments?
Therefore, it is not surprising if the other is also armed for its protection. While a conversation partner always threatens to swing the Mängelliste, the other protects himself a few acts before the body.
Usually, the threat is not so clear, and yet a conversation partner is looking for an artificial barrier.
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Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka is a partner at Schranz and Cerwinka OEG and has many years of professional experience as a board secretary. After studying vocational education and communication sciences as well as international human resource management / organizational development, she has been a freelance consultant and coach for personality development, communication and office management since 1993. She is also a specialist book author and university lecturer. All texts from Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka.
Gabriele Schranz is a partner in Schranz and Cerwinka OEG; Vienna - Zurich. After studying business administration in Vienna, she worked in management at the Berlitz language school in Vienna. Since 1993 she has been an independent trainer and consultant for communication, professional appearance, process optimization and personal development. She mainly oversees projects in the service, doctor and assistant areas as well as communication in hospitals. She also works as a university lecturer and has already written numerous specialist books on the subject of office management and professional communication. All texts by Gabriele Schranz.
The power of hidden signals - Part 15: Ballpoint pen instead of club ?: In the course of his deve… #Profession #Education
The power of hidden signals - Part 15: Ballpoint pen instead of club? -
The power of hidden signals - Part 15: Ballpoint pen instead of club? -
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