In the course of its development, humans have learned to use weapons and tools. Tools support the activity of the hands, they represent the “extension” of our body.


Plays at the conference table

An insurance salesman learns in his first sales training course that the amount of the premium is always before the Eyes of customers to calculate. Incomprehensible documents automatically generate resistance on the part of the customer. Only those who play with open cards appear convincing.

Another popular power game at the conference table is reaching into other people's documents. Similar to exceeding the distance zone, we find it aggressive Behavior, if someone tampers with our documents - whether friend or foe, whether Executive or negotiator.

We automatically try to defend our territory and deliberately adjust the documents. One will quickly Conversation dominated by such territorial struggles, the factual arguments recede more and more. Defense battle instead of space gain!

territorial recovery

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The same is true of unconscious territorial extraction at the negotiating table: the one who considers himself particularly important, spreads his documents extensively.

He thereby defines his sphere of influence and restricts the space of the other. He will hardly be willing to make concessions as long as he keeps his front lines on the battlefield like that clear has staked!

Clothing unconsciously sets signs

But not only items are used to support the body language, clothing and accessories also unconsciously set signs:

Buttoned or shirt-sleeved - these adjectives relate not only to clothing style, but also to the way you communicate. If the boss loosens his tie in the staff meeting, he is sending a signal: From now on it will be informal, just say what's on your mind!

Narrow or straight?

Both overly correct, stiff clothing and overly casual clothing act as a barrier in conversation.

The clothes should fit the role

Which clothing is seen as suitable, as well as the actual body language, depends on the common wavelength, according to the motto “like and like people like to join”. Despite all the tolerance in fashion issues, we like to look for our own Spiegelpicture.

Expectations play a role here. The Boy, up-and-coming employees should certainly appear in business suits, but please not with a designer piece that appears more elegant than that of the senior boss!

Effective noise

Little children learn very soon how helpful the use of objects can be. The cooking spoon, hit on the table, produces much more efficient noise than your own little baby hand!

Even as adults, we are reluctant to part with such knowledge that we have come to love. The boss underlines his Criticism no longer by the wooden spoon, this has since been replaced by an exquisite writing implement, but the sound of metal on wood still sounds very convincing!

Like a knight with a spear

So we often supplement our body language with the use of objects, making these signs even clearer, as if we wanted to call out our words even louder.

Anyone who uses a ballpoint pen or pencil to point out his arguments by pointing to a different one, looks like a medieval knight with his spear. When will he hurt his opponent with his arguments?

Files and other protective signs

Therefore, it is not surprising if the other is also armed for its protection. While a conversation partner always threatens to swing the Mängelliste, the other protects himself a few acts before the body.

Usually, the threat is not so clear, and yet a conversation partner is looking for an artificial barrier.

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