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By Tom Diesbrock (More) • Last updated on October 04.05.2023, XNUMX • First published on 18.09.2012/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 7395 readers, 1806 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
People are very creative in making excuses: for example, by acknowledging that one's horse is dead and it is generally possible to actively seek a livelier horse. With one tiny restriction: Of course, this only applies to other people!
It could be so simple: if I can no longer ignore the fact that other people are really with their Job satisfied are, I could take them as a model and try to achieve the same for myself. In practice it looks like this:
“I realize that my job is obsolete. I also accept the fact that people can create job models that suit them Fun and maybe even fulfillment. But that has nothing to do with me at all, because I certainly don't have those chances!"
If I see someone with a delicious sundae, it's on the Handto look around to see where the nearest ice cream parlor is. Why shouldn't they give me ice cream there merchandise? But here, too, there is a way out to avoid possible changes:
I simply explain to myself and others that my starting point is a much worse one. Others may find their dream job - but they are certainly more creative, brave, younger, financially independent, better educated, stronger, more intelligent, more educated, ... than I am. Or they have no responsibility or a profession in which this is possible. Not me!
I often see people protecting themselves from taking action in this way. Usually they first try the possibility of a professional Reorientation generally denied.
A classic: “In my Age it doesn't work anymore." If I answer with examples of similarly old people who have succeeded in doing this, I get: "Yes, but it's something completely different with him."
Many people invest viel Energy and creativityto find arguments for their self-exemption. If they were looking for opportunities for a reorientation, they would certainly be a long way further.
The "benefit" of this Strategy lies in the fact that in this way I personally devalue and invalidate every example, no matter how good it is. And I'm stabilizing a self-image that could very briefly be described as: "I'm not enough."
Like every avoidance behavior, this strategy has the tendency to self-confirm and stabilize itself: If I always persuade myself to have fewer chances than others and therefore do not change my situation, the result can only be: everything remains , how it is.
And this confirms to me that I seem to be right when I have so little confidence in myself. “I'm still sitting on my dead horse? It proves that there is nothing more lively for me. ” Welcome to the vicious cycle!
Please don't get me wrong: whether we successfully change careers or not is up to me Eyes on many factors and not only on a positive self-image!
There are quite a few prophets of positive thinking who want us to believe that every human being has every Objective can achieve - he just has to want it strong enough. I think this is dangerous nonsense because it reduces something very complex to a mere question of belief.
I don't think that Welt offers equal opportunities for all of us. For example, a fifteen-year-old has clear better chances of becoming an astronaut in this life than someone like me in midlife.
But even if we all had the same optimal starting conditions and abilities, our professional success would probably be very different as long as our self-image is different.
Belief in one's own possibilities is a very important one Success factor! If you look at the biographies of professionally successful people, you will see that their starting conditions were not necessarily ideal. But almost always they showed a high level of enthusiasm and Optimism and had a clear goal in mind.
If I think I'm not at the top in every respect, that's my profile weaknesses and deficiencies, it may not be just imagination. There will always be people who are ahead of me in some way. OK.
But that I can not achieve what others have created, does not really sound convincing. If I observe that I think very flatly and black-and-white about myself and my possibilities, and I seem to have always the bad cards, my perception must be distorted, right?
Unfortunately, we recognize much more easily with other people than with ourselves, when they talk about themselves and their possibilities. Do you sometimes think that you can never create as much professional fulfillment as other people from your circle of acquaintances?
Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author. Tom Diesbrock himself has had a winding career: starting with a medical degree, working on a music project and as a photo editor, he studied psychology and founded a practice for psychotherapy. Today he works in Hamburg as a coach and psychological consultant. One focus of his work is accompanying people in their professional reorientation. His book “Your horse is dead? Get off! " has been translated into several languages, his new book “Jetzt mal Butter bei die Fisch!” will be published in October. More information at tomdiesbrock.de All texts by Tom Diesbrock.
I would like to encourage you with my comment that you continue to continue your great work, have a nice morning!
Really a fabulous contribution!
Thank you
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