What can coaching do: In the client's head

Is figuratively speaking Coaching no navigation device or GPS that gives directions and changes of route. But coaching enables the client to define direction and change of path himself.

Where are the differences?

People with mental illnesses or other impairments of self-regulation1 (actually) belong exclusively in the hands appropriately trained therapists (and of course psychotherapy patients also have self-control skills!).

And we make this statement out of conviction and not because the legal framework requires us to do so. What is important to us: In contrast to psychotherapy, systemic coaching is aimed at “healthy” people and not at patients. That's an important difference.

Practical importance

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This distinction now also has a very practical meaning for the (internal) Coach. Do not diagnose unless you are trained to work with and diagnose patients. Instead, say so if you can't or don't want to help!

If you come to the conclusion during a coaching session that you cannot help the person who wants to be helped by you (for whatever reason), then say so. Straight out. Appreciative. And nevertheless clear.

Avoid advice

Don't you have any Anxietyto describe your perception, but avoid advice. That said, avoid saying, "You need therapy."

Rather, describe the part of your impression that affects you: I cannot help you. If someone says of himself that he is sick or describes illnesses: Do not say: "You need a doctor." Say, "I'm not a doctor."

Avoid assessments

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Avoid judgments or attributions, such as: "You are alcoholic." or "You are an alcoholic." (And don't ask, "Could it be that you're alcoholic?" Because it's the same.)

Describe what you perceive: "I smell alcohol on you. You seem drunk to me (...)"
Avoid diagnosing: "You are anorexic." But don't be afraid to put your impression into words. For example, say, "I see that you are getting thinner and thinner." Or: “You smell like vomit. (...) ”

Checklist - tasks of coaching

To make the differences clear again, I have put together the following checklist for you. And none of these are deficits in coaching, rather it characterizes coaching in particular Technology and attitude.

• Do not take any responsibility for your presence and do not seek medical attention (symptoms) to confirm your diagnosis.
• As a coach, you do not diagnose and stick your clients into any ICD-10 drawers.
• As a coach, they do not make any recommendations and do not make any suggestions, ideas, advice or recipes.
• You do not do homework or home exercises.
• As a coach, you take no responsibility for the other and not for its goals, solutions or actions.
• They do not follow the inner attitude that you help a person who can not (alone) help himself.

The solution comes from the customer

The solutions come in coaching from the one who has the problem. This is the biggest difference to other consultations.

Thus, a successful coachingConversation not at all the advice or suggestion (to do something one way or the other), but it is exactly the opposite.

Exactly fitting help

The support lies in the help that Solution to seek and find in and through oneself. And this is the only way that the result fits perfectly to the person, the situation and the environment.

At the same time, it takes the apprentice to an appreciable degree by being able to find just as good (indeed better) solutions as the coach.

Coaching is merciless

At the same time coaching is merciless: it throws people back on their own responsibility for their own life.

It tells the person seeking help that no one knows or can know better and that only they can find the appropriate and therefore "right" decision can meet or find a solution. And that's the real magic of coaching. If the coach can do that, the coaching client can do magic.

When clients become wizards

Every human being is able and has the strength to do so Problemsto solve topics and situations independently (exceptions can be found in patients who require therapy).

It follows that as coaches we can allow ourselves Trust into the solution power of the coaching client. Because the coaching client is also responsible for solving the problem.

Coaching begins in the head

The solution begins in Head of the coaching client. The coaching client is in turn faced with a coach. And he is responsible for the successful implementation of the coaching, the coaching process.

Coaching begins in the head of the coach. Let us look together in the head of a coaches: where the coaching will be done.

How does coaching work?

The "how" depends largely on the attitude of the coach. The attitude of a coach can be described as an inner attitude or as a personal experience; it contains all the paradigms and basic assumptions of the coach.

The answers to the following Ask make up the foundation that resonates with the coach as soon as he commits to one Method or a technique decides. That's what we mean when we talk about attitude. And that is the connection between coaching and the head of the coach.

Checklist: How can coaching run?

• "What conscious or unconscious idea does the coach have of communication and how it 'works'?"
• "What picture does the coach have of people in general and of his coaching client in particular?"
• “How does the coach describe social relationships and how does he describe individual steps in change?”
• “What is your inner attitude towards the coaching process?”
• “In his opinion (and experience) what is possible and what is not?”

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