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Disclosure & Copyright: Our articles are written and edited by humans, and in some cases like this, we use the assistance of artificial intelligence to optimize texts. Image material created as part of a free cooperation with Shutterstock. Text originally from: “Finding the right words: A radio presenter explains how you can have good conversations with anyone at any time” (2016), published by Münchener Verlagsgruppe (MVG), reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
By Simone Janson (More) • Thorsten Otto (More) • Last updated on October 03.11.2023, XNUMX • First published on 14.07.2016/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 6050 readers, 2081 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Powerful and influential men are often prone to profile neurosis. These people especially like to talk about themselves and their successes and are very reluctant to be stopped. Nevertheless: dare to say no!
In a Conversation No to say can for many People can be a real challenge, especially when they don't for sure are how it affects other people act could. We all want to be a positive part of a conversation, but sometimes we might just be busy with other things, have others Set or other interests. Then we should take the liberty of just politely ending the conversation. The Art is to do it without insult to do.
You probably know that politeness is an important part of social dialogue. But what if you just don't feel comfortable with the topic or with your interlocutor? Or what if you're not ready to expose yourself? Or what if you just don't have time to be polite? Or what if you just don't have any Lust have to participate? What if you don't want to have the conversation to protect your own interests? Or if you just want to save face? There are numerous reasons why saying no is so important to us. And the above are all valid reasons to say no.
Saying no to people with profile neurosis is particularly difficult, however. It often feels wrong and may even be fraught with anxiety, but sometimes it's just the thing. If you're having trouble saying no, especially to people with large egos, let me tell you why it is absolutely important.
We all know that saying no can be difficult even when we know we shouldn't be. We tend to avoid situations that we know we shouldn't get into, and we can't help but push boundaries that we shouldn't mess with in the first place. But we need to learn how to say no effectively and with as little negative impact as possible.
People who prefer to hear themselves talk are uncomfortable. It is even more unpleasant when they make them happy with their sermon. Should you come across a specimen of this species in the course of a conversation, you have two options. First: They pray that the monologizing alpha male will lose his temper of his own accord and move on, which may take time, however.
Second - and this is mine Suggestions: You make him lose interest in monopolizing you. It's not that difficult, you just have to irritate the man. Men of his type are used to being listened to, not interrupted and certainly not contradicted.
So do exactly that, interrupt the rambling profile neurosis, irritate him with cheeky Ask, bring him out of the Concept. Get rid of it. Say yours Opinions. If you don't want this conversation, don't accept being forced upon you. It's as simple as that. But you have to learn to trust yourself first.
I would like to tell you a story about this: When I was awarded the German Radio Prize in Hamburg a few years ago, at the party after the award ceremony I got into conversation with one of the still most influential German television managers.
What started out quite amusing soon developed into an alcoholic monologue from a frustrated media maker who apparently thought he could throw up on me, that's why fast started ranting about everything and everyone, got increasingly angry, finally insulted me too and seemed on the verge of collapsing.
I, on the other hand, just wanted to celebrate and not witness a heart attack, and when, after some time, I became too stupid, I simply asked the man, since when was he an alcoholic.
I still have his reaction today Eyes: The powerful man paled momentarily, his lips trembled, he struggled for composure, turned away abruptly, and the conversation, or what he thought was the end, was over.
It's nice to be able to say no, but you can't often do it without worrying that it might sound mean or rude. We don't want to offend others, look down on them, or hurt their feelings. When someone asks us to do something, we don't want to disappoint them, but neither are we obliged to do something that goes against our own interests, personal standards, or wishes. And such abrupt situations should be avoided as far as possible by politely saying “no” in good time. But why is it so difficult for us?
We all know that we should say no in certain situations, but we often find it difficult to say no decision to meet to do this. There are a variety of reasons why we don't say no: we feel embarrassed, we don't want to risk making the other person feel rejected, we feel we should be more helpful, we want to be liked, we forget , which we have already agreed upon, we feel that we will not Alternatives have, we want to avoid conflicts, we feel that we don't have any Choice to have.
Yes, quite Honestly: One of the most important things you can do to take care of your Health caring and living a long and healthy life is saying no to things that are not good for you. You can also learn to say no in a way that isn't offensive.
A few years ago I would never have dared to react in this way, especially not with one of the most powerful German TV managers. And now I can! But as I said before, I wasn't born a talker, and if I've learned to close a conversation that way, so can you, and I wish you that -- the opportunity to exercise or not - never get into such an unpleasant situation.
It is usually even more difficult to end a conversation if you have a private or business conversation in private, in which it is not possible to simply "get away" or "clap".
However, sometimes we are not aware that we can gain a lot if we say no to certain things and accept less than we would like. People say yes incredibly often when they mean no - for example, when they don't want to hurt someone's feelings.
While we know in theory that saying no is important to maintain social and emotional well-being, we don't always know how to say no in a way that doesn't offend or upset the other person.
Finding the right words to say no in conversation without offending the other is an art form. If you've ever tried to explain to someone why you don't like something or why you can't do something to them, you have likely come to the conclusion that you may have said the wrong thing.
Everyone knows this uncomfortable feeling that the other might be offended if you say goodbye now. But I can assure you that in most cases the other person feels the same way and will only be grateful if you end the conversation quickly. After all, what good is it for the other person if you are no longer completely at the point and are just waiting for the next best moment to leave. Few people are unable to notice these subtleties.
I therefore recommend that you be as honest as possible and explain to the other person politely but firmly that you have to go to the next, equally important appointment and that you also want to be there on time. Before the conversation becomes torture, consider the truism: Better to end with horror than horror without end!
It's like being asked to do something that doesn't align with your values: it can be tempting at first to say yes, even if you don't want to. If you decide to accept the request and then back out at the last minute, you may feel that you have been rude or abusive to your friend or co-worker Problem to have prepared. You may also feel that you have been dishonest by agreeing to something you did not want. That's why you have to learn to say no, and that doesn't always mean you have to be rude too.
Also, in my early years as a talker, I had a hard time completing conversations with special guests because I thought it was rude not to let the other talk out until he really did not remember anything.
I remember with horror a "Mensch, Otto!" Broadcast with Rolf Eden, the old master of the Playboys, who was still waiting with a slippery anecdote and, when the hour was drawing to a close, only really on the move and hardly closed was stop.
I was jung and inexperienced and was still listening to him long after we were off the air and my ears were ringing.
When the Lord of the Bunnies said goodbye after what felt like two hours: "You really are an excellent listener", I knew immediately that I had this compliment just didn't want to and that I was in Future some things would have to be done differently. Because if you are not obliged to do something, you do not have to do it and you do not have to force yourself to do it.
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Simone Janson is publisher, Consultant and one of the 10 most important German bloggers Blogger Relevance Index. She is also head of the Institute's job pictures Yourweb, with which she donates money for sustainable projects. According to ZEIT owns her trademarked blog Best of HR – Berufebilder.de® to the most important blogs for careers, professions and the world of work. More about her im Career. All texts by Simone Janson.
Thorsten Otto is a TV and radio presenter at Bavarian Radio, among others. Otto grew up in the Upper Palatinate, studied law, but switched to moderation after the first state examination. After an internship and traineeship at a broadcaster in Nuremberg and attending an editor, reporter and moderator school at SWF3, he went to EinsLive for two years. Then he switched to ZDF-Sport. In 1998, Otto moved to Bayern 3, where he presented the current midday magazine for years. Since October 2008 he has been moderating the interview program Mensch, Otto !, alternating with Brigitte Theile, which is broadcast Monday to Friday from 19:00 p.m. to 20:00 p.m. He also interviews celebrities on Sundays from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. at Mensch, Otto! - Stars on Sunday. Once a month, this conversation is also shown in the evening on Bavarian television. All texts by Thorsten Otto.
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You do not need to publish this comment, read enough. The article is disgusting and you are presumptuous. This is not rhetorical skill, it is practiced defamation of special groups, it has somehow fascist features. If you are proud of it, please. I am ashamed of you self-actors.
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