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Disclosure & Copyrights: Image material created as part of a free collaboration with Shutterstock. Text originally from: “Am I the only normal person here? 101 tips on how to survive the daily office madness” (2010), published by Münchener Verlagsgruppe (MVG), reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
By Albert J Bernstein (More) • Last updated on October 26.09.2023, XNUMX • First published on 30.09.2020/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 6376 readers, 2560 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
are at work Peoplewho say what they mean and mean what they say about as seldom as white tigers. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with employees who don't take the truth too seriously.
Chris has done it again. He's the golden boy from the sales department and tells the customers anything just so they put their signature on the dotted line and he hits his sales quota. He knows the turnaround time for orders is almost two weeks, but he's been telling everyone you can ship in two days. You've already had four angry phone calls this morning from customers wondering why you're behind, and there's an email from the sales manager asking about "shipping problems."
You spoke to Chris and he swears stone and leg that he told all customers how long it would take for their delivery to be on the way. As if that ever happened! You have with your Executive talked about it, but there is nothing he can do on the matter. What really drives you crazy is how Chris can get away with outrageous cheating every time - and even get praised for it.
cheating or just plain smooth lie: Chris gets away with it for the simple reason that he's for Turnover cares. In many companies, selling is the most important function. As long as Chris' numbers are good, management won't ask how and by what Costs these numbers came about. It's unfair, short-sighted, and just plain wrong, and there's not much you can do about it - but you can learn from it. Because of this, Chris' scams are a good place to start our reflections on how to use common sense in a crazy corporate culture.
Because: There is absolutely no prospect of Success, when you confront Chris about his wrong ways in hopes that his guilt will persuade him to stop lying and become a good citizen. Chris probably assumes he's doing everything right since he's been praised by his boss for his impressive sales figures. Even if Chris thinks he's doing something wrong, he'll never admit it to you.
Also, by confronting him, you put Chris in a position where he would have to admit his wrongdoing in order to get what you want, which is a little more honesty with customers. This is an extremely difficult negotiating position as most people would kill you before admitting they're wrong, let alone the serious bodily harm they would put up with in order not to lose their commission or bonus verlieren.
Although maybe it shouldn't be, there is in your Company nobody whose job it is to tell Chris the truth. If you're bothering your boss, their boss, or (God forbid) the CEO, you're more likely to be Problems get because you snitched when he got because of his lies. The following steps are more effective.
Joey, the dumbass from Marketingassigned to your project should actually be in the PowerPointPresentation work for next week. He claims he's almost done, but you have your doubts. He's thrown a spanner in the works before.
All they have to do is let you know in advance that they won't be ready by the deadline and you do the work yourself. You've already done most of the work yourself.
You keep asking how things are going, and he always replies: "No problem!" But you have a problem. Joey is your typical "the dog ate my homework" liar. He would say anything he could to avoid a confrontation. His all too transparent maneuvers are hardly worth calling a lie.
They are spontaneous, rarely planned in advance. Joey doesn't do anything in advance. Just like a ten-year-old, he doesn't think any further than now without realizing that his present pretense is in the Future will entail much larger confrontations.
Then, when that future comes, he will apologize for screwing it up and promise it will never happen again. But it will happen again - and you know that.
Forget the dog, get your homework. Here are a few ideas on how to avoid letting bad liars drive you crazy with the blow of a joey:
“Byron, Eddie from GOCO called me. He is beside himself. He says he emailed you two weeks ago to cancel his order. ”“ I didn't get an email. ”“ He says he got a confirmation email from you. ”“ Never . Somebody else must have sent them off. "
Chris and Joey's lies are annoying, but Byron's are really damaging. Chris may exaggerate and cover his tracks, but Byron blatantly bends the truth in his favor and to the detriment of others. He promises to deliver to customers knowing full well they can't be delivered, and will deliver even if it's canceled if it reduces his commission. He is betting that a return will take too much time and cause too many problems. He also lies about his working hours, his whereabouts while at work, his privacy and just about anything else you can think of.
See morbid liars Communication not like normal people. For most of us, our words are designed to convey more or less accurate information. For morbid liars, every word spoken is simply a way of creating an effect.
Byron like liars try to convince you how cool they are by telling you they go to parties with rock stars and the super pretty one Ms. sleep next door. They try to arouse your sympathy by confiding in you that they have been diagnosed with a terrible disease or have been exposed to unimaginable abuse in their childhood. Nowadays almost all morbid liars were out and about with big boys as adolescents.
After a few such aha-moments you ask yourself what you really should! - whether any of what these people say is true. Stay skeptical because this is one of your best ways to defend yourself. It's tempting to attribute pathological lying to low self-esteem, but that won't really get you anywhere. Low self-esteem can "explain" pretty much all mental disorders.
But any approach that explains everything ultimately has none Significance. Understanding what difficult people do and how they do it is far more constructive than asking why. The most important approach to pathological liars is that, unlike you, they don't think in terms of truth or untruth, but only think of the momentary effect their words might have on you. Lies and truth are important moral concepts that mean a lot to people like you, but for liars they have clear less weight. This dichotomy makes liars dangerous.
When we pretend, we have appropriate ones guilt; a little white lie that doesn't hurt anyone is easier to accept than a big lie that harms everyone. Pathological liars don't see these differences, so they don't feel guilty. If you're suspicious of one little thing a liar like Byron is telling you, question the whole story. This advice doesn't apply to the "dog-ate-my-homework"-type liars we discussed in the previous section. These choose the easiest way and rarely bring enough Energy to invent credible excuses.
He lies when he opens his mouth. Here are a few suggestions on how to protect yourself from sick liars:
Albert J. Bernstein, PhD, is a psychologist, best-selling author, and expert on conflict resolution. Al Bernstein is a clinical psychologist, best-selling author, management consultant, public speaker, occasional columnist, and award-winning photographer. Dr. Amber is known for teaching people to face difficult and scary situations with wit, wisdom, grace, and a liberal dose of humor. All texts by Albert J. Bernstein.
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