Fear of failure & frustration: Get out of the Angelina Jolie trap

What against them Anxiety from mistakes helps: You have to take a deep breath and yourself clear make sure it doesn't matter if you make a mistake. That 80% is often good enough. However, it sounds easier than it is: how does it work in reality?

What specifically helps

So be aware that the consequences may not be as bad as you thought. That you might not lose your job right away. Or that the supervisor might be angry for a while, but not resentful.

Gather Evidence! Write down what scares me. And write down the probability that this fear actually occurs. Others ask what they think about it. Write that in three columns next to each other. Or maybe in Head. But make it clear in your head that the fears you have might be superfluous.

Nobody can be the best anywhere

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Because that Problem with the demands for performance is: no one can always and everywhere be the best. You can't do that physically. So you overwhelm yourself if you try anyway. This possibility does exist with Amy Chua, but it is definitely not enough.

What then happened: Negative distress arises. In contrast to eustress, we do not experience flow in such situations, but feel helpless and at our mercy. Swiss researchers have found that this distress even clouds our memory.

Hormones and burnout

This is because cortisol is released from the adrenal cortex, which is supposed to protect the body from overexertion. Among other things, it blocks memory and leads to high blood sugarspiegel and over-acidification of the blood and a weakening of the thyroid function.

Therefore, in particularly stressful situations, clear thinking becomes more difficult. If you constantly overwhelm yourself, you inevitably steer towards the Burnout .

Failure leads to frustration

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And there is another problem. If, in spite of all my efforts, I get what I want Objective If you don't achieve this, this naturally leads to frustration. The optimal Solution is then to scramble back up and keep going. But if I'm stuck in this hamster wheel, then, as I said, it's difficult to behave completely logically.

For example, someone who has often seen things go wrong may not succeed in doing so light. Because you're scared. Sometimes you also see things much more negatively than they really are, simply because you do it so often negative has experienced. Because the negative thought patterns have solidified from the experience. Or simply because you've been dealing with a problem for too long.

The longer we brood, the worse it gets

The longer and more detailed we ponder on a problem, the more difficult it seems in the end is a solution to the problem.

For example, because we and the consequences are far worse than they are - we are catastrophic. This is also proven by scientific studies.

This is how the brain works

To this end, the psychologists Neil Roese and Jeff Kuban at the University of Illinois conducted an interesting experimental study with 200 students. They had their subjects calculate math problems and measured their brain activity.

In a first round, they gave them the realistic timings of 15 minutes per task. In a second round they let 30 minutes for each task, which again had the same level of difficulty, with the requirement to make full use of the time to eliminate any calculation errors in detail.

More time does not mean better results

The result: the additional time did not significantly improve the computation results compared to the first run. However, the researchers had observed that the brains of the students were all the more high-speed, the longer they were concerned with a task.

In addition, almost all students stated afterwards that they Tasks found it harder in the second round. Roese and Kuban concluded that People Perceive tasks as fundamentally more difficult the longer they deal with them. In other words: less is more!

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