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By Tom Diesbrock (More) • Last updated on October 21.09.2023, XNUMX • First published on 13.09.2017/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 5182 readers, 1586 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Our Brain has a very powerful mechanism that it often uses when confronted with a fact that conflicts with elementary beliefs and needs: it ignores it and ignores it.
One of the typical phrases we say when we try to deny the problems in a situation:
“My job is quite okay. Sure, I'm sometimes a bit unmotivated and haven't been for a long time satisfied. It's just a difficult time. But why should I get another Workplace search? No, no, my job is quite okay.”
The inner and outer signs that tell me that I urgently need to consider career changes may conflict with my need for security or my belief that I will never find another job. The Solution: I'm not that dissatisfied. My horse isn't that dead.
This Strategy only has one disadvantage: since my dissatisfaction tends to increase rather than decrease, the pressure to change increases within me. My inner balance between "do something!" and "Leave everything as it is!" threatens to tip over - then I could no longer ignore the fact that I really am a Problem have.
If, however, I manage to discharge the pressure in a harmless way (as by the overpressure valve of a steam cooker), I could maintain this state until the last day. There are two simple and quite popular solutions: pondering and complaining.
Rumination is an extremely unproductive form of thinking. I move thoughts, dreams, wishes, ideas like a viscous liquid porridge in my brain; from left to right and back again.
Everything I have thought of infinitely often - but I do not gain any new aspects, do not penetrate deeper and always come back to the starting point. An internal blockade is solidified by persistent pondering, since no solutions arise because the thought process would have to open up and deal with new aspects.
The brooder has the feeling that his situation is hopeless. But brooding consumes mental ones Energy and relieves internal pressure. The longer I ponder, the less likely it is that I will act.
Complaining could be described as “outward rumination”: I keep voicing the same negative thoughts about my situation. Other People could be prompted feelto want to help me with good advice.
But since I think by my pondering yes, to know every possible solution, of course, I do not accept anything that could interfere with my ingrained lines of thought. Who complains, does not want to hear that there are ways out! But it reduces pressure.
And everything remains as it is, because I continue to concentrate fully on my lousy situation and hold on to not being able to change it. A very “effective” strategy.
Do you know people who often complain about their job but never seem to make a move to find a better one? Aren't you like that for sureabout your own job? Ask wondering how dead your horse might be? Perhaps you have avoided giving yourself an honest answer to this question so far?
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Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author. Tom Diesbrock himself has had a winding career: starting with a medical degree, working on a music project and as a photo editor, he studied psychology and founded a practice for psychotherapy. Today he works in Hamburg as a coach and psychological consultant. One focus of his work is accompanying people in their professional reorientation. His book “Your horse is dead? Get off! " has been translated into several languages, his new book “Jetzt mal Butter bei die Fisch!” will be published in October. More information at tomdiesbrock.de All texts by Tom Diesbrock.
Great blog, I like to read.
It's funny. Just yesterday I discussed this with someone, today I find your contributions via Google. Great.
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