Disclosure & Copyright: Images created as part of a free collaboration with Shutterstock. Text originally from: "The Career Driver's License: Success Tips for Everyone Who Starts Working" (2011), published by Campus Verlag, reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
Serenity in job & everyday life: Get out of the conflict trap [10 tips]
From Professor Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler (More) • Last updated on October 22.07.2023, XNUMX • First published on 15.11.2016/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 5856 readers, 1857 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
conflicts in Job- and privacy can be extremely distressing and cumbersome. The “Lucky”Hand-Method" shows ways out of the vicious circle of stressful conflicts: How can we deal with conflicts confidently or even avoid them and thus improve our well-being?
Conflicts and troubled relationships are a burden for many People – private and on Workplace. A vicious circle that many people can hardly find their way out of. The "Lucky Hand Method" shows you how to work, live and communicate in a more relaxed manner.
Among other things, ways to more gratitude, better judgment and a convincing communication technique for constructively dealing with conflicts are taught. I have designed this method in such a way that the user can follow the instructions it contains light remember and they im Everyday life can apply. Your hand serves as a memory aid: each of your five fingers stands for one of the techniques associated with this method.
10 Tips for avoiding conflicts
Before you start practicing the method, let me state the basic condition for it, this method successfully to be able to apply – as briefly as correctly formulated by Mahatma Ghandi: “Be yourself change, which you wish for this Welt. "
Self-living: We should set an example for what we expect from others. Here Ghandi rephrased the age-old knowledge of mankind that we should set a good example. Change begins with ourselves. If you are not ready to take the first step, if you continue to make your behavior relentlessly dependent on “others” starting, you will not benefit from the following explanations. However, if you are willing to understand that you have to start yourself so that - with less arguments and more harmony - something can turn for the better, you have come to the right place.
Apply resonance law: The mechanism of action is a simple one: if you change your behavior, and do it permanently, then your counterpart will most likely do the same. The boomerang law (also known as the “law of attraction” or “resonance law”) applies. It says that like attracts like. What you send out, practice and practice will return to you sooner or later like a boomerang. That may sound esoteric. But even stubborn doubters should be clear: there is no other way. We can only change ourselves, never anyone else.
The lucky hand method: The Lucky Hand method does not require a chronological sequence of activities - the techniques can be used individually or in combination, depending on the situation. First you will learn how to show more gratitude with a simple formula. Then you will learn how to avoid a lot of trouble when you are silent. With the third technique, you will be able to better assess the proportionality of problems. The ability to ask questions is at the heart of the fourth technique - it helps to avoid conflicts. The final step is a communication technology that allows you to address critical behavior constructively.
More thanks and recognition: Why do many marriages fail, why do employees often complain about their superiors, why do children often feel misunderstood? For a very simple reason: Because many of those affected have the feeling that they receive too little recognition and thanks. For example, you have worked very hard for something or someone and you don't get a word of praise. It doesn't matter whether it's from your partner, boss, teacher or friends: in everyday life you almost never hear a nice word. Everything is considered normal. A pat on the back, a friendly, honest “thank you”? Hard to find outside of the trained supermarket friendliness! The result: relationships cool down, frustration and anger spread due to a lack of appreciation.
To praise: Honestly: Do you say thank you and appreciation every now and then? Are you too economical with praise yourself? The reason for this is often that we do not feel that we ourselves are sufficiently valued. Think of the saying: "As you call into the forest, it resounds." - and make yourself aware that everyone needs recognition.
Please do not patronize: In line with our principle that we have to move forward if we want something to develop positively, we should in future often express honest appreciation and serious thanks. This is not a condescending “you did it well” or a patronizing “great, how fine”, but a few, but fitting, honest, unexcited words that show the other that we have perceived his performance.
Be very specific! The following applies: the more specific and personal this recognition is, the better it is received by the recipient. So instead of saying "you gave a good presentation", it would be better to say "I particularly liked how authentic you came across in your presentation".
Just do not overdo: Do not exaggerate it with your praise. Whoever constantly and with Lobeschymnen considers, quickly acts unbelievable. Praise or thank you only if you really mean it!
Properly say thank you: Another help for “saying thank you”: As already mentioned, our statements have a much higher weight, if you put them in concrete terms. If you want to thank someone for something, don't just say “thank you very much”, but also state the reason for which you are grateful. You can easily do this if you start your sentence of thanks like this: Thank you for ... helping me peeling potatoes ... sticking to our agreement and arriving on time ... agreeing with me in the meeting with your opinion ... on your film waived and watched the crime scene with me.
Always remember: As a reminder for this technique is the thumb. The thumb sticking up is - except in some Arab countries - globally a positive, affirmative gesture. Alright, well done, keep it up, great, great!
Here writes for you
Prof. Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler teaches at the University of Economics and Management (FOM) in Frankfurt am Main. Dafler, born in 1969, studied business administration and has been working as an independent communications and marketing consultant and trainer ever since - his clients include both large and medium-sized companies as well as numerous associations and academies. Since the beginning of 2010 he has been a lecturer at the University of Economics and Management (FOM) in Frankfurt am Main. His publications include “The career driver's license - tips for success for everyone who starts working”. All texts from Professor Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler.
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