Train resilience, strengthen self-confidence: finally able to resist [+ exercises & self-test]

Rarely does our life unfold the way we do to plan and hope. And sometimes there are crises. How can you survive this? Some simple exercises will help.

Surviving crises: Typical stumbling blocks

As nice as it would be if all the surprises and twists and turns in life brought us joy and happiness, experience teaches us again and again that things can turn out differently. Mostly unexpectedly and often without our own doing, our lives are interrupted by crises or shaken by fate. Disaster and injustice are stumbling blocks that we cannot avoid. health difficulties, Problems am Workplace, a financially tense situation, personal attacks or prolonged overstrain cannot always be avoided. Sometimes their power is so great that we not only stumble briefly, but are thrown completely off course. In such phases of life it is almost unimaginable that the stumbling blocks will eventually lose their paralyzing power verlieren. And yet this book is intended to give hope.

If you manage to pause at the stumbling block and find a new direction, this can result in a personal milestone for you to refresh yourself with Energy get for your life. Then yours Crisis to what the ancient Greek word »crisis« ​​already denotes – to an aggravation that brings a »decision« with it. A clarification as to whether and how the danger can be averted or how you can Konflikt, can cope with the problem or the illness. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes there are many small ones steps necessary. This training book aims to be of help to you. Let us take you on the path of resilience, on which you can get up again after stumbling and move on.

The psychological crisis

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A psychological crisis is characterized by the fact that previous attempts to cope with stressful events or life circumstances have failed. This creates a feeling of helplessness and being at the mercy of others. This perception reinforces Anxiety and often leads to insomnia, loss of appetite and other impairments. Such crises are often triggered by drastic events or long-term stress:

• an unexpected termination
• upcoming career changes
• surprising massive criticism, be it from superiors or from the private sphere
• Sudden conflicts with someone close to you
• a sudden serious illness or even a chronic illness
• an accident or the death of a loved one
• a need for care in the family
• Experience of violence
• cheating on the partner, separation

What all these burdens have in common is that they are sustainable change entail and require those affected to be able to adapt to the new situation.

Stable in a storm

You've probably seen a storm sweep across the country, shaking and tugging at the trees in the field. The tree moves violently in the storm and sometimes loses a leaf or two or a few smaller branches. Inside, however, it is connected to its root system, finds support in the earth and stands up straight again after a storm. Resilience is about this inner strength. entrenched People finding ways, so that after storms, setbacks and failures, you don't just lie there on the ground, but get up and confident and powerful in the Future to look.

Even if circumstances cannot be changed or changes that have been experienced cannot be reversed, they are able to stand up and stand up constructive adapt to the new situation. It is not excluded that the fate of life inflicts wounds on you that are painful and leave scars. Yet there is an opportunity to emerge strengthened and enriched from these devastating challenges. The Psychology calls this ability and the steps that are necessary to achieve it, resilience. Resilient people are able to build psychological and mental resilience. Resilience as a social skill has become an integral part of life and is particularly important in times of upheaval Significance.

resilience

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The Latin word "resilere" means "to spring back" in our usage. In physics, it is used to describe how well a workpiece springs back to its normal state after it has been bent - or even a bit beyond the normal state. Applied to us humans, this means: After a strong physical or emotional strain, resilient people are able to return to their "normal state" or even to outgrow themselves a little. Often terms such as “stress resistance”, “psychological robustness” or “psychological elasticity” are used for this.

The concept of resilience arose from the observation that numerous people not only manage to survive crises and special stresses, but also emerge stronger from them. From the 1950s to the 1990s, the American sociologist Emmy Werner conducted a wide-ranging study of children who grew up under extremely difficult conditions. Her interesting observation: a third of these “high-risk children” made it through life as adults despite the difficult childhood satisfied, healthy and to be responsible. Emmy Werner described these people as vulnerable but invincible. It was also shown that the environment (educator, neighbors, teacher, etc.) played an important role in resilient children. Resilience is therefore not a static or innate characteristic, but can be specifically influenced and changed over the course of life.

What you can do for yourself

If you want to be one of those people who can survive crises without major damage and in the end emerge stronger from them, I invite you to come to terms with the Concept familiarize yourself with resilience. You can use it to train your inner resistance and gain strength for your current stresses and crises. This workbook on resilience has a modular structure. I recommend that you start with your personal location analysis. At the end of the chapter you will find information on which additional module can be helpful for you in the next step. Simply follow these instructions and find your personal resilience path.

When you realize that your burdens are your own capacities clear exceed this, I recommend that you take advantage of targeted psychological or medical support. This is often a helpful way - but it should not prevent you from working with this training book for yourself and activating your own recovery powers step by step. Take your time, you don't have to go all the way at once, you can split the individual steps and chapters over different days or even weeks. This makes the training more effective in the end.

Exercise: Your personal location analysis to pause and become aware in 5 steps

Depending on what's on your mind, you might not feel like pausing. Maybe your hamster wheel spins like this fastthat you don't have any Idea have how you can leave it. Maybe a certain topic takes you so much inside that you can no longer think freely. But it is precisely then that pausing could be all the more important for you. Resilience is not about having more strength now invest, but that you first gather your strength and realign yourself. Be confident that you will also discover good paths to follow along the way. For this exercise you don't have to get off the hamster wheel completely, you just pause for a good half hour to put your situation into words. Try it!

1. First, find a place where you can be undisturbed and with which you associate something positive. Make it as pleasant as possible there, provide beautiful lighting and - as required - a refreshing or warming drink. Sit in a comfortable position and take a deep breath. Let your location analysis take a consciously slow and calm approach. Take some time for yourself.
2. Name the problems: Of course you already know, but it is helpful if you write it down explicitly: What is your biggest problem at the moment? Now try to take a step back and look at the situation in detail from this distance:
3. Which stress factors are you currently exposed to?
4. What exactly is stealing your energy?
5. What other problems or dangers do you fear in the near future?

Everyone processes stress differently

Now that you have looked at your problems and named them, you have described your personal stressful situation. The way we humans deal with stress is very different. Often this depends on our previous experience and our overall physical and psychological condition. That is why psychology assumes that our real problem is not the stress in itself, but the intensity with which these stresses strain us.

This may be a small difference, but it can still be important. Sometimes a single extraordinary burden is enough to completely absorb us and tie up all our strength. So it may well be that you have a high load in the Job You can still cope well during the day, but then you are so stressed that you no longer have the energy to run even the smallest errands or you are stressed out by a friendly phone call from someone close to you feel.

Self-test: reflect on the stress experience

Everyone has their own criteria according to which they perceive something as stress. Some are just really getting going and are visibly blossoming, while others are already »full of life Stress" are. Still others are particularly sensitive in certain areas and react exceptionally quickly with physical stress symptoms.

Therefore, test under which circumstances you feel particularly stressed. For the following statements, decide whether you will always get stressed (3 points), often (2 points) or rarely (1 point) in such moments:

• You miss the bus or the train.
• Your supervisor will call you over.
• You will be assigned a new task at your workplace.
• You still have to go shopping after work.
• You have an argument with your partner.
• You become aware that you have a great deal of responsibility in your job.
• You have acute financial worries.
• You think you are not doing your job well enough.
• In the post is a letter from the tax office.
• You feel like the flu is coming.
• You drive past a rear-end collision with sheet metal damage on the street.
• While you are concentrating on an important and urgent job, the phone suddenly rings.
• Your TV goes dead right during the evening news.
• Your partner is dismissed from the job.
• It's getting late and you have an important presentation to prepare for tomorrow.
• You notice that the work you are doing is not yet good / exact enough for you.
• You feel like you are in competition with another person.
• You have to prioritize important tasks, but don't want to postpone anything.
• You wake up at night and cannot fall asleep even though you are very tired.
• Your supervisor asks you to work overtime because of the high workload.
• You want an important and time consuming project yet to be
• Bring it to an end, but don't miss out on your free time.
• You feel trapped in ideas and demands that your environment has of you.
• Exams are imminent in further education / training or during studies.

Evaluation for the self-test: How you deal with stress

Now add up your total number of points: The test shows examples of situations that can trigger stress. All in all, you can see how quickly and how intensely external stressors lead to an internal stress experience in you. This shows a tendency for your own stress regulation.

23-36 points

Congratulations! Most of the time you have the stress under control and know how to divide your strength well. Most likely, you instinctively sense where the inner tension is good and useful for you and where it is not worthwhile because nothing can be changed by it. Nevertheless, you should always deliberately take short breaks.

37-51 points

Even though you know that it is too much for you, you expect a lot from yourself. Make sure that you feel in good time when something is getting too much for you and when it threatens to overwhelm you. Take small breaks again and again and react as quickly as possible to the smallest signs of stress and discomfort.

52-69 points

You have a high level of stress and feel light challenged to the limits of your performance and beyond. It is important for you to realize that you are doing your utmost to meet the requirements: With the best will in the world, you can't do more without completely ruining your health and your zest for life. In order to maintain or restore your ability to perform, it is crucial that you do not put yourself under pressure so often and do not want to 1. always, 2. do everything, 3. do everything optimally.

Conclusion: This is your path to resilience

And this is exactly what your path to resilience looks like. Whatever your personal crisis that needs to be mastered: I wish you every success on the path to resilience!

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