Successful communication & its limits: 3 X 3 tips for avoiding conflicts

Do you also know these situations in which you later asked yourself why you shouldn't have kept your mouth shut? 3 tips on how to put that in Future no longer happens.

Badly communicated, bad for your career?

And then worry that what is said is bad for the career? This does not happen if you take the well-known saying:

Before putting the mouthpiece into operation Brain turn on. Or simply: speech is silver, silence is golden.

Think before talking: 3 tips

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Since apparently many People If you find it difficult to stop and think before you speak, we have put together 3 tips that make it easier to think before you speak:

1. Make others think

An acquaintance keeps complaining about his work colleague. She is very direct and never misses an opportunity to tease him. It just happened recently: he's returning to the Office return. She sees him and says, "Hello, have you gained weight?" This isn't my invention, it's deadly serious. She's really on it. What do you do with a person like that? Strangle? That'll not work, sorry. Other suggestions? Paying back in the same coin would be one possibility. But no, we're adults and not as tactless as Miss Rude.

It would be good: You ignore the buckle and just leave it there. Better yet, say no. "No, not at all, I rather have the feeling that I have lost weight”. If she continues to drill, you can strangle her. The very best option would be to take her to a quiet corner and point out that people don't like her direct manner and that she wouldn't be happy if you asked her about her weight. She will reflect on what was said and hopefully pull herself together next time and refrain from making the offending comment.

2. What really bothers me?

Before you open your mouth, you should always ask yourself why you bother the other person. Does she really smack that loud or am I the only one hearing it because I don't find her so chic otherwise? Do I want to throw a spanner in the works again because otherwise I would get bored? Nooo, never. She smacks, really. But does it bother the other colleagues too? Or am I looking for a scapegoat for my own frustration? Because it's often the case that you're the only one who bothers you because you don't particularly like the person or you don't quite like it with your own life satisfied is. And if you're the only one who says something, you end up being a troublemaker without the actual Problem would be fixed. Well, in such cases it is better to keep the unpleasant truth to yourself and let your colleague continue to smack her lips.

3. Let it be

In general: Unpleasant truths should be kept secret for short-term acquaintances. For example, with people you meet in the elevator or colleagues from the third floor. Caution should also be exercised with superiors. At least when it comes to trickier things than a tousled hairstyle or a stain on your shirt. Because the advice of subordinates or strangers is often perceived as inappropriate. Conversely, the Executive do not leave out the assistant's pimple or comment on the hickey (which she of course covered with makeup for hours and covered with a bandana).

Communicate correctly: 3 tips

And then another saying: “We cannot not communicate”. Right. Because even if we don't talk, our body, our gestures, our facial expressions speak. And that is exactly what an experienced, successful listener should pay attention to in order to gain the necessary information.

1. Talking helps

However, if you've been working with someone for years, you should address what's bothering you. Communications experts advise personal references to always be under four Eyes admit. This gives the other person the opportunity to save face. The right space is also very important. Whether at a joint lunch or at a fixed appointment in the meeting room - the main thing is that Conversation is not disturbed by colleagues barging in.

2. The four steps

When push comes to shove and you have to say something unpleasant to the other person, the following has proven its worth: the conversation in four steps split and always start with a value-free observation.

1. Positive introduction and first-person messages: Example “I appreciate your good ideas and at the same time the way you implement them. And that is precisely why it is important to me to tell you: you stink. ” Stop, stop, it's better not to. But: “I have a very good nose and absorb a lot of smells. Sometimes it can be a blessing - but often it can be a curse. I have observed that when I work closely with you, I pick up smells that distract and distract me in my concentration. ” Here it is very important to remain in the pure ego formulation.
2. Express feelings: In the second step, it is important to communicate your feelings and give positive feedback (so-called sandwich technology). Example: “This totally unsettles me. Precisely because I really appreciate you and your helpful, efficient work and always in a good mood! ”
3. Communicate need. Example: “Because I have concentrated the need to work with you. But I can't do that. ”
4. Throw the ball at the other. Example: “What do you think? Do you have any suggestions on how we could change that? ” This gives the other party the chance to express themselves.

3. Avoid conversation killers

The absolute conversation killer is: “The others are already talking about it – but I’m the only one who does it Courage has to tell you that." Such a statement only generates resistance - and nothing else. The golden rule is: only ever talk about yourself and your own needs. If you then follow the four steps mentioned and choose the time and place wisely, the problem will soon no longer be a problem.

Right silence: 3 tips

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But how do you really communicate successfully? By sometimes just being silent right and in the right place. But this is only possible if you concentrate on other people and shut up yourself! Less is often more (another saying that is true). It can therefore be seen that those who can remain silent at the right moment often achieve more than through constant talk. This applies even in times of a constant flood of social media. Skillful silence is the motto. 3 tips on this.

1. Listen actively

You should not just think about what you are saying, but also, pay attention to what others are saying. Just listening actively.

2. Pay attention to gestures and facial expressions

Not everything that your counterpart expresses, he actually verbally expresses. Often it depends much more on what the other betrays through gestures and facial expressions. Pay close attention to it!

3. Endure the silence

Chatter, who have little to say in terms of their content, conversation breaks are very unpleasant. Therefore, you tend to want to fill conversations with ghastles. Good listeners, on the other hand, can withstand the silence. This is how they conduct the conversation, even if they say nothing.

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