The 5 best books on self-love: inspiration & immediate help for the ego {reading tip}

Everyone complains about Stress – but he makes a significant contribution to the fact that we perceive our lives as interesting and exciting. But more importantly, stress is important to achieve peak performance.

Declaration of love to the stress

As is well known, every coin has two sides. This also applies to stress. When we talk or read about stress, we almost always only look at one side of the coin: the negative, the dark, the bad, the sickening side. And then we ask ourselves what is the best way to avoid this bad stress. In addition, there are now whole libraries of advice literature and tons of weekend seminars in which we learn our own personal stress avoidance strategies.

Urs Willmann shows the many positive effects that the otherwise so much scolded stress has on our lives. Willmann is a science journalist at the weekly newspaper DIE ZEIT and loves stress. This is remarkable insofar as journalists are more often than average under stress, which is mainly due to the constant pressure of deadlines. Willmann took a longer break from his job to calmly write a book about the bright side of stress. He gave this work the beautiful title “Stress. A food”.

Without stress, our lives would be much poorer

It goes in this beneficial light The core of the book to be read is about the rehabilitation of the form of stress that is so unloved and despised by most people, called stress. For Willmann, on the other hand, stress is a good thing, and to support this claim, he opens a huge treasure trove of studies and quotes from wise men who think the same way.

Willmann does not claim to present a balanced view of the phenomenon of stress with his book. Consequently, he does not do this either. His book is deliberately one-sided and partisan, it is, if you will, a declaration of love for stress. Stress makes me happy, that's Willmann's statement. And that's why he is glad that he exists. "Stress is the best thing that can happen to us in life," he claims.

If the stress becomes chronic, then the fun ceases

And then he doesn't get around the slightest bit about the negative form of stress. Because even with stress: the dose makes the poison. Willmann makes a “difference between acute and chronic stress”. The former is good, the latter is bad and makes you sick.

stress is in Job only good as long as it takes place “within a manageable time frame”, i.e. it is only of short duration. The negative stress is not limited to the professional situation. Quote from Willmann again: "It doesn't matter whether it's a bad working atmosphere, a bad room climate or the climate on the doorstep: what makes you dissatisfied promotes chronic stress." All in all, Willmann recommends "more calmness towards stress".

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Recognize the positive side of stress

"Stress. A food ”is not one of the usual“ you should do this and you shouldn't do this ”guidebooks. This book is about the hard work of a science journalist who has viewed and processed vast amounts of sources.

The section with footnotes and references alone comprises 15 pages. A recommended book for everyone who is interested in the bright side of the phenomenon “stress”.

Interrupt the permanent loop in the brain

Overwhelm, illness, a sudden career change, permanent noise, the crisis in the partnership: there are numerous external and internal influences that affect your thoughts and emotions put into high tension.

In “Active Against Stress” Christy Matta shows how we can appropriately counter and reduce stress in our lives. Decisive for our malaise are less the stressors themselves and more the way we process them.

Stress through personal processing patterns

That's why it's important to break the self-destructive loops in the brain that are all about that Problem turn and create more fears. In her book, Christy Matta shows numerous practical exercises for a new approach to Welt.

Because regardless of whether you can influence the causes or not: to stress these are only through your personal processing patterns. Stress affects your feelings and your thinking.

Theory and practice

In her book "Active Against Stress", the American Christy Matta examines the most common stressors and explains them Effect on feelings, perception and body.

Matta uses current research findings for her anti-stress counselor. But the focus of the book is on the many exercises that help you deal with your stressors more constructively, openly and healthier.

Allow is the first step

In the beginning there is recognition and acceptance. Whoever is able to name and (initially) accept negative influences creates the conditions to protect oneself from the destructive consequences. Matta has compiled a variety of mindfulness exercises that you can use to reduce nervousness and tension at work Everyday life get a grip.

However, in more detail, she devotes herself to the great crises of life (denunciation, separation, death) and shows you how to gradually restore your emotional stability.

Above all, it is about interrupting the self-destructive, permanent loops in the brain, which alone turn around the problem and generate further fears. Matta teaches you to abandon old thinking patterns and to develop new perspectives even in crises.

Learning to deal with stress (new)

It will not completely shed or avoid the stress. But you can devalue it and take acute countermeasures if “everything gets too much again. Matta wrote her book primarily for people for whom stress is not an annoying, temporary burden, but rather determines everyday life and who Quality of life set to “0”.

You will find very good answers here Ask “why” and “where to”,”
“Despite the spring-like weather, we are discussing a book on the subject this week Burnout. Because it affected very well new ways shows and the topic is important for every working person. Because prevention is necessary!

Help for self-help in emotional collapse

The title of the book “Compass Burnout” is aptly chosen. Theo Jannet offers first class Orientation in all questions about a disease that initially leaves those affected completely disoriented. Step by step, the author works through the questions surrounding the vague Term “Fatigue Syndrome” circles.

It differentiates burnout from depression and addictions (“workaholic” is one of them!) And helps you with a small self-test to assess your own risk situation. Please do not panic if the burnout signs condense.

Exit from the emotional tunnel

Jannet carefully guides you to the exit from the emotional tunnel. With good references to Self care and to rebuild the ego (“Anxiety turn into power”). But also with a whole series of tangible tips on therapy options, doctor consultations, and taking psychotropic drugs.

In calm words, Jannet explains how outpatient and inpatient therapies work and who benefits from them. The author reveals how you can deal with acute problems if possible fast get an appointment with a specialist and submit a rehabilitation application correctly or proceed in the event of a negative decision (“In the event of a rejection, it is better to fill out a new application than to lodge an objection – that will be decided more quickly!”).

Reintegration into the profession

The final part is about reintegration into professional life and stability in everyday life (“keeping the track”). And if that doesn't work in the long run, there are still contingency plans: changing jobs or retirement. A farewell at first glance, but actually a hopeful new start to regain exactly the vitality and joy that was so slowly lost in old life.

Read the book if you have the feeling that your life revolves only around work and there is hardly any room for free time in everyday life. Jannet has numerous good tips and addresses to stop the mental downward spiral in time.

The power bar for your ego

And now there are five immediately actionable tips to boost your ego when it's down and you're in the emotional vale of tears.

Do you know that too? A colleague, a friend or perhaps a completely unknown person presses the appropriate button, and your ego runs faster than any elevator into the cellar. Sometimes a flaky comment on your new hairstyle is enough.

Instead of just stating the situation as a little annoyance, you go into the court with yourself, pick up memories of personal defeats and misfortunes to confirm yourself: they are simply not good enough.

Out of the mental hole and self-pity

If you are one of those who regularly dig their own mental hole to regret and hide in, be sure to read Paul McGee's book “Trau dir”.

With a lot of esprit and wit, the author helps you to straighten your ego again and to arm yourself emotionally against future low blows. The whole thing without the typical Coaching-Slang. Instead, McGee relies on common sense and insights that are as simple as they are accurate. bluntly Honestly and with a large portion Humour seasoned, "Trust you" brings you out of the emotional vale of tears. A clever book that puts you in a good mood as soon as you leaf through the first few pages.

Gas station for self - assurance

On the way up there is always someone in the way. In the vast majority of cases, you are the one! With a reason why this book by Robert Kelsey finds so much appeal. It shows how to overcome the fear of failure and to give oneself to pity for your own ego.

When a self-proclaimed “Grand Master of Fears of Failure” writes his own guide to “Fear of Failure” because the countless existing guides would be of little use (“unsustainable promises”), skepticism is the order of the day.

From the sewing box of the Grand Master

But that quickly gives way to genuine enthusiasm when reading. "What are you waiting for?" by Robert Kelsey is an excellent book on the subject of “Fear of Failure and self-confidence".

Because the author uses a clever one Tricks: He describes his own experiences and picks the raisins from the really good psychological counselors to explain to you why you think and act the way you do. And how you can change that.

Dare, then you can become a popstar?

Important knowledge of the first part, which clarifies the causes of fear of failure: "Mental disorders, such as low self-esteem, are a disposition".

In other words: It is not enough for us to think big in order to actually grow. "Dare yourself, then you can be a pop star" is an empty promise that is unfortunately repeated in numerous coaching books (albeit in different words). Better: Accept your own fear and see it as a "driver" and take advantage of it.

Defeats are painful? Everything a question of the point of view!

People with low self esteem have a tendency to defeats of their own Personality and attributing success to chance. Kelsey helps you recalibrate your standards of evaluation.

From now on, please no more absolute judgments, which drive your ego into the cellar. Defeats are only painful if we want to perceive them as painful.

Eyes open, away with self-pity

Eyes opens up (and suppresses self-pity) will find that there is no such thing as failure all along the line. In addition, small failures always offer the option of expanding one's own set of experiences and making better use of them in the future.

With his practical tips in the back of the book, Kelsey teaches easy-to-follow principles to become more receptive to the value of the services provided:

Between palpitations and goal setting

For the past. Give yourself a pat on the back. For the Future: Realistic Set set. And consistently. Preferably using one Strategy, which “turns small victories into significant advances”. And please don't let a colleague's flippant comment ruin your whole day in the future.

There's a 99 percent chance that the joke about your hairstyle wasn't half as mean as you're making it out to be. Robert Kelsey tackles the issue of low self-esteem authentically and with a variety of fresh thoughts. Well-argued and fluently written. One of the very good guides in this genre.

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