"I finally want to be taken seriously!" say many people who have their interests in the professional and privacy clear and clear(he) want to represent. But how can you do that without becoming a ruthless asshole?

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Elbow or not?

Especially people who cannot or do not want to use their elbows, feel usually at a disadvantage. Because they often have the feeling that, in order to be taken seriously, they first have to be ruthless or tough Behavior and get used to thick skin.

The common Opinions, you have to assert yourself against others in order to protect your own Set to achieve has burned itself deeply into the mind.

Winner and loser

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However, asserting yourself is about being the victor of an argument or a Conversation to emerge. And where there is a winner, there are always losers. But that's not for everyone. And there is another way!

The other on the eye level meeting him, getting him on board, even if he has a different opinion, fits much more into today's world and is much more promising. The regularities of this kind of Communication can be excellent - and very easy! - with the Status-Concept clarify.

Status concept

The status concept comes from improvisational theatre. Keith Jonstone, the founder of modern improvisational theatre, discovered it in his work with actors. It says there that drama and Humour arises from situations in which individual players deliberately lower or raise their own social status.

In the improvisation theater, a distinction is made between the high status and the deep state. This is to make it clear on the stage who dominates the scene and determines the situation and who submits. But status plays a role not just on the stage, but determines our whole life.

We negotiate status - always!

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Each of us has felt small and unimportant, while the conversation partner seemed to us to be big and important. Or the other way around. This is completely normal. In communication, it is always a question of who leads, who follows, who dominates, who submits.

In every encounter, in any conversation, in any situation where at least two people are involved, status is negotiated, usually without realizing it. Think of it as an unconscious adjustment and positioning of the persons to each other.

It always depends on one's own

In everything we express, i.e. in the way we speak and in the body language In addition to the content, we also provide our current status relationship with our counterpart: who leads and who follows.

In a nutshell, it works like this: if you feel “small”, you are in the so-called low status; is one self confident and if you feel superior to your opponent, you have high status.

It does not depend on the rank order?

Status, as understood here, has nothing to do with hierarchy, titles, or possessions. But only with your own Personality and the resulting behavior. So it works in all areas Society after the same Regulate .

Of course you can not completely decouple it from the social hierarchy. But that is not crucial here. Your own status depends considerably on how you see yourself. And in comparison to other people. I have only modified and developed this principle on our self-management and communication behavior.

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