The control of our emotions is probably the most central in the resilience concept Significance to. Everyone knows situations in which they, usually unconsciously, control their emotions and the associated impulses.


Empathy instead of rage

Parents did not sleep all night because their child was screaming, and it continues to go on without interruption during the morning. They feel a sense of annoyance and rage and control them through a variety of behaviors.

The Mother takes a few deep breaths and makes it clear, for example, that the child has a toothache and that it is not his fault. This empathy helps her to bear the crying of the child better.

Positive feelings conquer

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The Employees of a call center, which in particular with unfriendly customers has to do, wakes up in the morning to the alarm clock ringing and has none at all Lust, to go to work.

But maybe he's thinking about the nice colleagues who are waiting for him, or about the fact that today is Friday and that he's going to a wonderful wellness hotel with his girlfriend at the weekend. He manages it like this positive To let emotions arise in you, to better yourself feel.

impulse control

You are on the highway at high speed on the road and suddenly sheared out another car and forces you to slow down. They feel anger and would like to scream at once and get the person in front of them.

But they pull themselves together and say "Well, come on, the highway is not yours alone" and thereby manage to tame your strong anger again.

Without emotion control it is not

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At this point, thousands of other examples could be mentioned, which illustrate what Emotionssteuerung has in it. As you can see, we all control our emotions in a more or less conscious and more or less intense way.

If we didn't do this, we wouldn't be able to practice our professions or with others People in a Society to live together.

Beware of the steam boiler

But beware! Emotional control has nothing to do with the suppression of feelings, even if we have to do this again and again, because if you control your emotions in this way, you are more likely to work according to the steam boiler principle:

at some point the emotions will pave their way and you will explode. Emotionssteuerung is a process in which a person feels a negative, we also call it non-resiliente, emotion controls so that he really feels a positive emotion.

The emotions must be genuine

For example, the mother described above will feel a real sense of forbearance and compassion for her child. If she said “pull yourself together!” At the point, the feeling of anger would remain in her.

We know from numerous research findings that the introduction of emotions leads to an emotional dissonance. This is the case, for example, if the call center agent permanently feels frustration because of his activity, but constantly smiles on the telephone.

Bad emotions lead to stress

This leads to internally Stress, with all the hormonal consequences that stress triggers in us. If this is done over several months, even years, it can lead to people actually becoming physically ill.

So he has only the possibility to try to change something in his work or to direct his emotions in a positive direction.

The will to emotion control

Highly resilient people are thus able to control their emotions particularly well. The importance of this ability becomes particularly clear when one leaves the level of the individual situations described above and looks at a highly resilient person overall.

Why is that? Because these people have an irrepressible will in one area of ​​their lives: the will to do well. Accordingly, they are very gripping fast the right measures to make them emotionally well again, so that they are happy. Because don't forget: Happiness is an emotion.

Resiliency is the ability to feel better again

All other six skills that resilience have a greater or lesser influence on this very ability: the ability to perceive your negative emotions and then take the right actions to make you feel better. We understand nothing more, but also nothing less, by what appears to be very technical at first Term of emotion control.

In other words, if, as the Dalai Lama says, it is true that the real one Sinn of life is the pursuit of happiness, and we realize that happiness is nothing other than a sensation, that is, nothing primarily material, we become fully aware of the full scope of this ability.

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