You get an unfair question asked? Who actually forces you to respond? Who exactly expects you to actually fall into the trap that your opponent has just asked you?

commander spock

Answer questions properly?

In fact, you are free to ignore a question or an expectation. Just silent People falls the Method However, it is difficult to 'pass over, obscure'. Her Character entails that they want to answer every question appropriately.

So what can you do if your desire to act in conversation takes over? First, take each utterance of the other person as a conversation offer that you can accept or reject just as well. Instead of being silent, you can simply start a new theme and direct the conversation to a third direction which is both true and true.

Like Loriot

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A wonderful example of this can be found in Loriot in a well-known animated film The Interview or Pneumatic Plastology. In the film, Mr. Gilling wants to be the Chair of Pneumatic Plastology, Professor Heubl, interview live in the studio. However, he still has to wait for the start of the program. And the two bridge the time with an absurd dialogue:
The gentleman on the left: “My Ms. is a Capricorn.”

The gentleman on the right: "I have a long-haired dachshund."

The gentleman on the left: “I am fish. Capricorn and fish go quite well. ”

The gentleman on the right: "I used to have two long-haired dachshunds, that wasn't possible at all ..."

Just change the topic

The two each take up one of the other's keywords and then talk about something completely different. Since our first Objective always is to get the other out of his or her gutter, it is also a legitimate means of redirecting the conversation in this way. Then next time you say in a similar situation, for example: "Oh, where I see this potted plant, you have already noticed ..."

Just as in the case of the Plastologie-Interview everyone tells their own story, you can always start a new topic in a conversation. But do not exaggerate: As with many poisons, which heals in small doses, but fatal in high concentrations, it is also with this quick-reaction method.

Praise your attackers!

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Other ways to redirect the flow of the conversation include: Think about what you're asking the other person for compliment do or how you can praise them. As a rule, your attacker will be quite flabbergasted. Getting praise for a verbal assault - such a reaction has to come to mind first. And then you have to do it elegantly. Possible initiations for this are:
“They know each other very well…”

"There speaks years of experience."

"I admire your speech."

We also keep our distance, of course.

Let your starve your long arm

Bring Ask or your counterpart's comments out of tune? Just skip these! To the elegant quick-wittedness also includes the ability not to want to fight back in the first place. Let conversation partners who are trying to drive you crazy just starve to death. The provocations are then fast stop.

A short commentary can be used wonderfully as a bridging or show the conversation partner that his statement was inappropriate. Take an example of Commander Spock from Star Trek Enterprise.

How does a short commentary work?

A short comment can have several Features have: On the one hand it has an effect on the other, since it is used as an answer. On the other hand, it also affects us.

One teacher explained that he was moving into the mode of fundamental astonishment with the word "Aha". If you combine your favorite short comment with such an idea, you will gain a certain distance from the other and still show an interest.

Like Commander Spock

With a short comment you can also save time if you are silent and just to see if the silence and ignoring is not enough.

Commander Spock, the fairly emotionally neutral semi-Vulcan in the Starship Enterprise TV series, usually responded to threatening phrases with “Interesting!” or "Fascinating!" Through this intellectual (pre) evaluation without an emotional belly reaction, he builds up a distance from which he always maintains an overview.

Loud or soft

You can say the short comment out loud or just think it to yourself. time and Distance definitely win.

short comments
I beg your pardon?Ah yes.Just say!
There look.Interesting!Nanu?
Might be.So so!Soooh.
Oh, so.Yikes!Aha.

The game with the emphasis

Play with the emphasis here too. The participant replied to the sentence “Women cannot think logically” with a long “Ahaaa ?!” with increasing emphasis at the end and an extremely interested look. In doing so, she elegantly presented a question that the other person could only shamefully keep silent about. The wave ricocheted off the lady and hit her attacker herself.

"Ahaaa ?!" This is a good short comment for many situations and usually provokes a helpful and factual correction.

“Standards” method Speed ​​counts!

The ›standards‹ method is also very simple. Instead of answering questions and verbal attacks individually, use a personal mix of memorized answers.

This, admittedly, is not always original and appropriate, but we remember that "ready-to-play" is almost always an attack on the personal plane and the relationship level; it does not aim anyway to clarify questions on the matter level.

In our experience, the ›Standards‹ method is more suitable for extroverts, because the essence of it is speed. So if you're rarely at a loss for words, but your speed with a best possible answer increase then this method is perfect for you.

Have a solid repertoire ready

A solid repertoire of standard responses and bridge sentences will help you gain time. Maybe enough time for a more appropriate response to the matter.

Even if you do not find anything fitting as a response, you can use the 'Standards' method to create an optimal and always useful life anchor if you miss the words.

Train bridges

Incidentally, in 80 percent of professional discussions, the use of bridging sentences and steering strategies is completely sufficient to confidently fend off unfair and unobjective attacks. - What's the best way to go about it?

Define ten to fifteen bridge sets for yourself and practice using them in the Everyday life. Just give it a try: you'll be surprised at how articulate they suddenly are.

Your success

Train your standard answers like a success mantra. Because that's exactly what this method offers. You will be less surprised and above all never be speechless again. Guaranteed!

It is often enough to point out the irrelevant tactics: “Mr. Müller, we won't get any further by blaming each other. Let's discuss how we do that now Problem to be able to solve. My suggestion…"

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