Quick-wittedness First aid instead of a red button: anger is like swallowing poison

We always wish to be quick-witted when we suddenly feel out of breath from indignation or shock and we are defenseless at the mercy of others feel. What to do? Please do not press the red button!

Our visual orientation

Most People are very visually oriented. The feedback from the participants in our seminars and coaching sessions confirms that the visual idea of ​​a personal protective screen helps people to act more calmly and confidently, even in real situations.

It most likely has something to do with our Brain Pictures and emotions can process faster than the purely logically structured text of an abstract resolution. We react more calmly to verbal attacks, the more detailed and tangible we imagine being surrounded by a real physical protective shield.

Your mental protection shield - always at hand!

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However, when you get into the next difficult negotiation, next Meeting or the next customer meeting, then you should not only have your prepared factual arguments with you, but also your mental protective screen. So take an extra two minutes for your mental fitness before you convince your conversation partner with the content.

What your personal protective screen looks like is a matter of personal style and your imagination. For example, imagine your umbrella surrounding you like a safe ball. The ball separates you appropriately from your counterpart and makes you unreachable for possible threats.

How does a screen work?

A very good mental technique consists of not only making oneself comfortable in difficult situations in the future and not letting oneself be lured out of the reserve, but of getting a visual idea of ​​one's own protective screen.

In order to always have your mental protective shield at hand, you can use one of the following inner images, for example. A protective screen is ...

• like a bubble or a bowl around you;
• like an armored glass pane, which comes out of the ground in front of you;
• like the sight of an armor that you can fold down at any time;
• ...

Read through these suggestions and use the one that makes you feel the strongest and most comfortable. Of course, you can also come up with your own picture of a protective screen. The only important thing for your brain is that the image used appears as real as possible to you. Because the more real the idea, the better it is Effect.

gain distance

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Situational Intelligence means intuitively doing the right thing in every situation. Serenity and a mental armor that protects us like an elephant's skin, for example, help with this. This would be another shield image from the previous section. Another technique we call winning by far.

In many situations, it helps our interlocutor's attack not only from the personal Perspektive consider. Instead, we're trying to look at what's happening from the meta level.

The view from the meta plane

Suppose you were a bird in the air or the spider on the ceiling, what do you perceive of the two people who appear to be talking tensely down in the room? This view of the scene is also possible if you should be one of the people affected. He creates an emotional Distance, as we otherwise expect from scientists in a laboratory.

With something exercise learn to distinguish between the content and the feelings that what is said triggers in you. Instead of immediately in anger or in Stress guessing, from the perspective of the bird and the spider, you might even discover the comic or absurdity of the situation, and that not reacting at all can also be a good reaction.

Annoying is like poison swallowing

Note: Anger is like swallowing poison and hoping that the other person will respond. We are in a thoroughly successful environment with such approaches. Modern mental techniques were one of the most important pillars in the training concept of the German national soccer team in 2014. Joachim (Jogi) Löw and his eleven were world champions after all. You too can do it with mental hygiene measures for mastery in the quick-wittedness .

The best thing to do is to start right away with a motto in life, which people who are at rest like to have one. No matter what may happen, you always go back to your own inner strength. Which of the following sentences does this for you? Does it perhaps coincide with something that has already shown itself as a motto in your life? So quick wittedness is not just about finding a suitable answer. Perhaps it is even more important to perceive and understand your own thoughts and feelings.

Conscious breathing

One of the first (self) help measures is that we catch our breath and set up a protection zone - literally or figuratively Sinn, There is a need behind every feeling! Pay attention to your feelings and give them space. Relieve yourself by breathing. Inhale and exhale deeply through pursed lips or through the nose with a Darth Vader sound. This means that exhaling takes longer and calms you down.

Breathing is the best remedy for stress. Breathe consciously after an attack, and, perhaps, six to eight times a minute. Inhalation - Pause - Exhale. Soon your pulse calms down. Relax your forehead instead of putting it in folds. Focus on your creative possibilities. Remember: every disaster is the core of an anecdote!

How mindfulness helps

Observing one's own inner processes is also called mindfulness and is an important quality for our topic. In general, the more attentive you are to others, the more carefully you treat yourself, your feelings and your reactions.

Therefore, train your perception of something that has been said, the perception of your feelings that have been triggered at you; and learn to separate your feelings and your conscious assessments from each other.

Dodge is better than revenge

Step inside, so you do not overwhelm your own emotions. As always from a Feldherren hill always keep the overview, leads us around the stimulus reaction trap.

Dodge is better than revenge and retaliation: anyone who really wants to meet and injure is more annoyed by a sovereign reaction than by a counter-attack.

The red buttons

Words transport more than just thoughts, attitudes and ideas. Dieseling words can produce completely different reactions in different people, as perception psychology confirms. After that, there is no objective reality.

For every human being is really what he constructs in his imagination and what he can perceive because of his personal filters. So we evaluate all the stimuli that flow into us through past experiences. We leave our fingers off the hot stove and know tomorrow how we have opened a door.

The keys to understanding the present

Our memories and experiences are the key to our very individual understanding of the present. This means for the quick-wittedness that each individual will have internalized, individual trigger or stimulus words, which cause joy, anger, frustration or counter-defense.

In order not to be attacked by yourself, be sure in which situations you always react as sensitively and are dissatisfied afterwards.

Typically sensitive situations

• For example, are you annoyed that you have already taken on another task for the team, simply because everyone else said no more quickly?
• Has your life partner or your partner already commented on your character and question the relationship?
• Do you laugh with the team against your will, even though you find the blond joke in the presence of the colleague pretty bad?

Such situations to earn a conscious examination of them and new reactions. Be inspired by the elements of elegant repartee. This sometimes includes simply ignoring a situation.

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