Postpone goals instead of finally getting started: “I don't really want that”

“I finally want to take off! And I have some too ideas, waiting to be processed and implemented. I always make up my mind to start doing this. But then I remain inactive anyway. How can you be so screwed up! I probably don't really want to..."

The psychological counseling market would be much smaller ...

The market for psychological counselors would be much smaller if, after reading, every reader actually began to put into practice what he had read as far as he could find it appropriate and correct. The number of these books, which are sold every year, does not decrease. But on the contrary.

Instead of becoming active, many buy themselves People, especially when it comes to professional change go, rather the next guide or attend a seminar. They also find what they read and hear very correct and important, but then they prefer not to change anything and sit on their dead horse.

Indefinitely or self-determined?

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The strategies of avoidance that I have presented to you so far represent the possibility and the Sinn of change in question. The mental self-boycott does not.

He admits that I decide to go on the road, and I also partly believe it - maybe I'll even take the first step - but then it's over, and I'm not going any further. As if someone else would decide about my doing.

Is the inner pig dog so strong?

We may call this other our “inner Schweinehund”. And then we often feel ashamed because we seem so weak and he is so strong. As if this were just a matter of willpower and mental strength.

If we are stuck in the cul-de-sac of mental self-boycott, it often feels like someone has pulled the plug. the Motivation and the drive go to zero. It seems like we don't have any Energy more available.

Onschieberitis instead of change

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For activities with which we then gladly distract (suddenly suddenly windows must be cleaned, cars washed or desks cleared!), But there is always enough energy available.

Let's follow the temptation, gets in touch fast can voice bad conscience and reminds us that we had planned much more important things. And so it goes in ours Head always back and forth, just not ahead.

No step forward, but consumes a lot of energy

As if a part of me were stepping on the accelerator to accelerate me to top speed, and another my inner brake pedal because he did not want that. The consequence: I do not come from the spot, consume a lot of energy, I think stupidly, and somehow the engine is broken.

The diagnosis: an inner one works in me Konflikt, which leads to a mental blockage. This is a completely normal psychological mechanism that follows the principle: “If I'm not one hundred percent for sure I'd rather prevent them and stick to the tried and tested than the new ultimately proving to be wrong and harmful."

Shoemaker, stay with the groin

Or to put it more popularly: “Shoemaker, stick to your work (if you don't have a great business plan).” The consequence is discontent and at some point only despair.

What matters is how psychological cleverly we deal with our inner blockage and they either constructive dissolve or just continue to solidify. To achieve the latter, there are two very effective tools called: pressure and self-criticism.

"I'm so stupid and lazy"

Even more effective: even more pressure and even more self-criticism. Probably yours is this Method not unknown, because most of us use them often and with pleasure. If I don't function the way I do – in mine Eyes – would have to, I criticize myself for it and accuse myself of being stupid or lazy, for example.

Self-accusations like "I should be much further - others can do it too" support my self-criticism. Then I can still put on the inner thumbscrews and really put pressure on myself: “Finally pull yourself together!” or “You didn't deserve anything else!” but don't really motivate either.

Anything but hot air?

Sometimes acquaintances and friends also support us by meeting us with incomprehension and annoyance when we simply don't do what we want so much and have announced. Especially when they own this Problem If they don't have it, they can't understand at all why someone can't get their hooves.

In such cases, self-diagnosis or diagnosis by others is often: “Then you probably don't really want it at all! Stay where you are." So all hot air. Only this way my mental self-block will definitely not get smaller.

The spirit does not want to go in the bottle anymore

Once we realize that our job is a dead horse, our dissatisfaction will remain a constant companion. As a matter of fact, the spirit does not want to go back into his bottle once he has made it to daylight!

Do you feel the same way? Do you keep resolving to finally do something for your new job - and then not get out of your chair? Do you then also tend toCriticism? Do you like to put a lot of pressure on yourself?

Blocked by internal conflicts and contradictions

At this tenth Strategy will be special clearhow much inner conflicts and contradictions can block us. Although we have a great longing for change, we hold ourselves back from taking the path to get there.

Essentially, each of the ten strategies presented has such a conflict, because the starting point is always our dissatisfaction, which is only so "well" repressed in the first strategy that it cannot be perceived.

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