Soft or personal skills are often considered desirable qualification mentioned, but hardly anyone knows what it means. What hardly anyone believes: the ability to take criticism and the right amount of modesty are actually effective.

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Self-marketing - does not that annoy?

Humility is an important skill these days, and for good reason: quite a few People deal with the question: How much self-portrayal is in the Job Search necessary and useful - and when does the whole thing tip over?

The IdeaIt came to me to delve deeper into this topic because I am asked about it again and again, for example when I give lectures on self-marketing with social media. Many listeners want to know whether the constant self-marketing in the Internet because don't annoy the addressees and whether a little modesty wouldn't be more appropriate?

Self-promotion like sour beer?

The caution with which this question is then always asked, as well as the regularity with which the question comes up, allow me to draw two conclusions: On the one hand, the question is embarrassing for many because they already assume that self-marketing is part of it today, the questioners but actually none Lust have to.

On the other hand, the question seems to concern many people. Modesty is still considered a virtue. The new self-marketing, on the other hand, is suspect to many in Germany. In fact, at first glance, nowadays it seems necessary to advertise yourself like sour beer when looking for a job in order to stand out from the gray crowd Candidate to stand out at all.

The hip creative examples from the scene and Danes in the shop window

After all, examples of creative applications keep causing a sensation in the Recruiting-Scene: From the social media addict who applied to a car company to upbeat CVs from various graphic designers to original application videos.

The highlight of this trend is that in Denmark, academics spent the last month in a shop window, organized by Djøf. Signs and brochures indicate that highly qualified people are looking for a job here.

An extended form of social recruiting so to speak, in which the volunteers no longer simply placed their profile in social networks but offered themselves.

Attention error: It's about action, not to attract attention!

This is exactly where the mistake in reasoning lies: if you just want to attract attention at all costs, you run light am Objective over. The fact that only two of 15 shop window sitters found a job in Denmark is hanging for sure also together with the fact that the protagonists ultimately remained rather passive.

People want to see that others are actively trying to do something. For example a job. A failed speculative application has a much more targeted effect. But of course it also depends on the right qualification - but also on the fact that the Executive in spe will find out about it.

Master the balancing act

That's exactly why excessive modesty is just as wrong as pure hype. In the long term, interpersonal interactions count, including when looking for a job and Career, just qualifications, personal Commitment, the ability to deal with setbacks and staying power. So the important personal skills.

Anyone who also masters the fine line between creative self-marketing and embarrassing self-portrayal should not only have good cards on the job market. But be careful: the ridge is really narrow.

Because with all enthusiasm for positive thinking, conflicts should not be swept under the carpet. According to a study, a German emerged Companys due to Streit namely annually Costs up to three million euros. The Problem what matters most is the way it is dealt with.

Recognizing smoldering conflicts

Unrecognized smoldering everywhere Konflikt-Herd with little taunts and nasty remarks. Until at some point the bomb bursts: And then the discussions are no longer objective, but only emotional, because the relationship level between the parties has long been gone sustained is disturbed.

Management trainer Cornelia Topf knows from experience that it is often no longer about the matter at hand: “Even if we are rather willing to compromise feel, our brain may thwart us on account.

Winning as a self-purpose

It has a reward center that pours dopamine when you win, which makes us feel lucky. ” In short: the desire to want to win becomes an end in itself.

So what to do? An ethnological comparison shows that in many indigenous peoples, for example the Maasai in Kenya, a council of elders mediates in disputes. In German companies there are rarely such institutions, instead the boss is overwhelmed and not a mediator Money there. In short: the parties to the conflict have to come to an arrangement somehow.

Find the greatest possible mutual benefit

An Solution offers the HarvardConcept. Its goal is the greatest possible mutual benefit - beyond all sensitivities. First of all, both sides must distinguish between the subject of the negotiation and the relationship between the conflicting parties.

It is important not to focus on positions, but on the underlying interests.

To take offense

Insults or irrelevant remarks should be addressed directly immediately - this takes away their clout. Both parties should develop as many options as possible, which they only evaluate and decide later decide.

The decision for or against a compromise is finally made by comparing this with the best Alternatives compares Even if it's difficult: It can be helpful to push feelings aside in this way.l

The German perfectionism culture as a problem

Because even if nobody likes to admit mistakes, they are important and valuable - if you use them constructively. This implies the ability to learn from it. Because this can lead to innovations.

In Germany in particular, it is rather difficult to do so. Debt carries our culture of perfectionism: Anyone who is caught making a mistake is stigmatized, they are therefore avoided whenever possible and Criticism is undesirable.

Reviews at the Sunday brunch

There is another way. I was in Texas some time ago: even in restaurants such as the South Congress in Austin there are notes and pens ready for guests to use to submit suggestions for improvement after their Sunday brunch.

And while criticism is often accepted in this country with grudging teeth, the people there are really interested in customer feedback, they even ask again - that's what happened to me at the Hotel Meridien in Dallas when they Sales-Manager does not bother with the superficial statement “nice hotel” satisfied gave and followed up again extra. As a German, that can really surprise you.

Trial and error make innovation

Many successful US companies that have incorporated the feedback loops into the trial and error process of product development also benefit from this American culture. As a result, mistakes become a means of gaining innovation.

But how do you manage to deal with errors in a relaxed, constructive manner? First of all, by yourself clear makes that critique a valuable one Information is that makes improvement opportunities visible. Avoiding mistakes at all costs is therefore counterproductive.

Critical criticism comes better

Even justified criticism is only helpful if it is expressed factually. Unfortunately, there is often also envy behind it or is used by superiors as a means of power.

Who on error I aufmerksam is made should therefore think carefully about who is doing it and why - and whether they are Opinions competently is. Above all, generalizing, derogatory criticism such as “You always make such stupid mistakes” is hurtful.

Differentiated statements necessary

Whoever wants to know what he can do better needs more differentiated statements - and should not be afraid to demand them. Who, on the other hand, is exposed by unjustified criticism, can resist.

The critic Good rhetorical tricks for this are not to pay attention to him or even to agree with him superficially and ironically in order to let him run into nowhere. Under no circumstances should one discuss or justify oneself!