Negotiating & making decisions: At the seaside or in the mountains?

Every year in winter, German families are busy planning their summer trips. And it is similar to the classic conduct of negotiations in many companies.

When partners become opponents

As every year, dramas happen in German living rooms. The negotiating parties come to the negotiating table armed with travel catalogs and brochures and begin to reflect on last year's vacation in a friendly manner. And then?

Negotiations are a very important part of life and business life. It is a fundamental "partnership" and all successful negotiations must be based on Trust and mutual understanding. But as with many things, there is a fine line between conviction and Tampering.

Lazy compromises?

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Many negotiating partners are increasingly becoming negotiating opponents. Let's stay with the topic of family vacation planning and domestic peace: The once so beautiful memory of the vacation fades and a dream vacation becomes whole fast a bad trip. You realize that this is not a good starting point for your next holiday trip to plan. Not even one Objective because the question arises every year: sea or mountains?

One usually comes out Solution, which isn't really good for either party. You know this under the name of compromise. But that's just the last name, the compromise also has a first name: Lazy. So the whole name is: Lazy Compromise.

And that is what is closed annually on holiday trips and daily in German companies. A lazy compromise. Driven by the downright panicked search for “win-win solutions”, countless lazy compromises are made every day.

Negotiating - the most underrated skill

In dealing with others People the dozen, calling our first names, makes us more personal. And his first name also makes the lazy compromise more personal, brings him closer to us. And shows his true face. He's no good. Is not suitable for consumption, spoils our stomach for a long time and still feels bitter after years.

Negotiating is probably one of the most underrated skills in working life. Negotiation is often seen as a negative approach to reaching agreements with both your employer and your co-workers. However, this is not true. Negotiations are an important part of your everyday work that must be viewed with the right eye. Positive negotiations are possible, but lazy compromises should be avoided.

Better: agree on consensus

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So what is to be done. Do not make lazy compromises anymore, but agree on a consensus. The difference? If you compromise, you might drive a week to the sea and a week to the mountains. Nobody had what he really wanted. You were together with your partner for two weeks, but you spent a week in a place you did not want to be.

In which you have searched, found and noted everything that you do not like and what you find really stupid. And that's why your partner did it for you where you wanted to be. Big cinema. So you were under constant stress for two weeks, except for a few moments. Maybe the journey home was complete nice. Right?

“Win-Win” - pure hypocrisy

So what can you do? First of all, say goodbye to “win-win”. Of this hypocritical cloak in which the lazy compromise comes across so often. Put together all the available options in peace. This also includes you two weeks at the seaside. Your partner two weeks in the mountains.

Then gather all the facts for all the possibilities. Bring too risks and chances of all options in your consideration. And now leave it alone for at least one night. What you should also ask yourself before every negotiation "Why am I negotiating?" .But also, and that Honestly without whitewashing: “Is the other party even ready to negotiate?”.

Decide with a clear head!

After this pause and if the answer from the “other side” is positive, decide She. Together. By far and clear Head. What has too great risks, sortieren You from. Face the fact Eye. They are here today because your pre-ancestors were cowards.

Just like mine and those of all other people. The brave and fearless were eaten before. So decide on safety - our ancestors have already done so.

Like in the cockpit

See yourself and your partner like a cockpit crew on an airplane. Both pilots have the same rights and duties, and their job is to take care of the plane (marriage) and passengers (kids and dog) for sure to land. In an emergency also at another airport. Heroes have no place in the cockpit.

Incidentally, this approach also helps you in negotiations with yours Executive, Colleagues, customers, Delivery. Piloting an airplane is Teamwork - and there are no lazy compromises. Or have you ever experienced a flight for two hours in one direction and then two hours in the other direction, just because the pilots could not agree on a common destination?

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