- The setting is crucial
- How to expose liars
- The happy-feet phenomenon
- Pay attention to small things
- Truth signals in the gesture
- Pay attention to the dynamics
- Reaction in case of danger
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The setting is crucial
If I want to assess whether a person is telling the truth, I should
make sure that I give her a good setting, i.e. an environment
in which she feels comfortable and in which she actually starts things
to report. Once she started telling the story
this can lead to her revealing things about which she was previously
had been silent.
Within the Choice of the conversation setting is also the personality style
of People to consider. Is it a
possibly narcissistic person, it can be advantageous
To make her feel like she is very special.
How to expose liars
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I recently had one like this Conversation led with a young man who
was suspected in his Company anonymous letters to
to have sent colleagues. He reported very much fast from that,
that he is already in Age of 22 years self-employed a branch
headed his employer - to which I consciously replied that
that's an extremely impressive one Performance know.
In doing so, I consciously fulfilled the man's narcissistic needs.
Brushed his stomach, he started telling me things that he did
unintentionally betrayed himself as the author of the anonymous letters. being
The mistake was that he was soaring in his narcissistic details
called that only the writer of the defamatory letter know
could. With a different approach it might be
failed to get the young man to the point of inadvertently betraying himself.
The happy-feet phenomenon
Because we humans are very well wired to change our facial expressions check, but control what we do with our arms or legs
we usually don't do that well.
A nice example of this is the phenomenon of so-called happy feet. This means a relaxed bobbing of the feet as an expression of joy. You would
in a round of cards, for example, with an opponent like this
recognize a joyful bobbing, then caution is required because he
probably holds a good hand.
Pay attention to small things
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You don't even have to look under the table to see this. As soon as the feet move back and forth so happily, this is transferred to the upper body,
and this can be seen particularly in the clothing that resonates
But happy feet are not only to be found when playing. If you suddenly notice in conversations or negotiations that someone is starting to move their feet and
happily bouncing on, then he unconsciously signals that he is currently feeling good.
Truth signals in the gesture
We now know that gestures are signals of truth
there, the so-called illustrators. When I say something with
arbitrary and therefore not consciously controlled gestures of mine
Underline hands, that speaks for the fact that I feel comfortable -
and that I say things as they actually are.
Another type of gesture also becomes unconscious
carried out: the adapters. With them we try our emotions
to regulate. An example would be a grip on the earlobe,
with which we try to calm down.
Pay attention to the dynamics
If such a gesture is shown, it can be a signal that a
Person feels uncomfortable even though they may be with their face
the weiterhin sovereignty wants to pretend.
Many factors are dynamic, so they can be related to the
change recognize what happens in the course of a situation. One
underlining gestures speak for a certain truthfulness,
but there is a change and the person begins
with calming down, or even freezing, that can be done
indicate that “there is something”.
Of course, such a change does not automatically mean that this person is lying. But it shows that there is something within the subject area that is
the person is uncomfortable and further inquiries are advisable
Reaction in case of danger
Linked to this is another basic rule of human behavior:
If we are exposed to a threat, we have three different ones
Response options. The first is the escape response,
the second is the combat response and the third response
manifests itself in a freeze, which is often a play dead reflex.
Even if we threatened each other in a conversation feel, can
this cause us to have one of these reactions with our extremities
If a person suddenly appears frozen during a conversation, they may find the situation threatening at that moment. The situation is similar when the feet are suddenly moved in the direction of escape - when a person changes from a relaxed sitting posture to pulling his lower legs and feet back under the chair, perhaps leaning against the seat with his hands. The foot posture therefore anticipates our behavioral tendency and signals an “I want to get out of here”.
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