Dealing with conflicts with flying colors: Breaking through blockades

When it comes to unpleasant surprises, we are often at a loss for words. But why is that? And by what means can you blockages overcome and counter?

How to break the blockade

Let's review the factors again Eyesthat cause a blockage:

• Evil surprise: You did not expect that!
• Sovereignty is threatened: if you do not react, you look bad.
• Pace, pace: you need to do something real quick.
• Crazed self-esteem: The others are strong, you feel weak.
• Drowning Syndrome: The more you defend yourself, the faster you go under.

This leads to several starting points for how you can get out of the blockade or not even enter into it.

Be open to surprises

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“It won't happen to me again! Next time I'll say this and that! ” This is the usual reaction once we have digested the shock. We think we can prevent the blockade by preparing ourselves thoroughly.

By simply not letting ourselves be surprised, but by planning everything in advance. After Pattern: If case A occurs, then I react with B. If a saleswoman throws spell x at me, then I counter myself with spell y.

Build No Fortress

Unfortunately, we then never meet a saleswoman who does us the favor of exactly being rude to us Head to throw that we could respond to so masterfully. Instead, something utterly bizarre happens. Something that no one could have expected... And we're stuck again and blocked.

We cannot really protect ourselves by preparing for every eventuality. That just makes us inflexible. "Don't build a fortress" is an ancient Chinese adage on the art of war, because the fortress is rigid and encloses us. Once the enemies have entered, the fortress becomes a deadly trap. That's one thing, the second: The Welt is full of surprises. We have to live with that. It's not always about unpleasant surprises...

Tip: Stay open to surprises: don't fix everything, to plan Don't be too tight, allow things to go wrong.

Proper preparation is everything

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So do you just want to get things done? Not necessarily, because it can actually help you when you think about certain situations before you enter.

Then you can react better and more confidently. Ready to go. Our book is based on this principle. Often being quick-witted means simply being better prepared. This is in no way in contradiction to the “openness” to surprises just mentioned, but builds on it. There are two points to note:

• Stay flexible. Do not stick to specific phrases and situations. Vary your formulations and turn everything upside down. Try to be playful; this will keep you more open for surprises.
• Focus on the important - and likely - cases: When you give a lecture, you should know how to respond to interferers. You should know your “sore points” that someone who wants to hurt you will pick out. That's exactly why you should think of a suitable saying.

Tip: As an “iron reserve”, you can build up a pool of remarks that somehow always fit when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.

Gain distance

If you are already stuck in the situation where you are being taken over, it is too late for the best preparation. Then you need to lightning fast to think about what to do. First of all, one thing is important: do not be overwhelmed by the unpleasant situation. Try to gain distance.

It's entirely possible. It can actually be practiced, as you will soon see. You should realize that you are in the Hand have to change this situation for themselves. It doesn't matter what other people expect from you. What matters is what you make of the situation for yourself. You must regain your ability to act. The first step is to step out of the situation.

The “inner impact protection”

It came from communication trainer Barbara Berckhan Term from the “inner impact protection”, which clearly describes what it is all about. You build up a kind of inner protective shield that prevents you from getting hurt. The "internal impact protection" does not let the threatening situation get that close to you. He cushions everything.

You can imagine the thing like a bell of armored glass, which you can overload in case of need. You see and hear everything, but nothing can happen to you. The others can drum around the bell with their fists, their blows bounce off. You do not have the pain, but the others. You are in a protected space, which makes it possible for you to remain sovereign and self-determined.

Tip: The "internal impact protection" helps you to get through difficult situations and to remain calm: To angry ones customers, bad-tempered family members, malicious colleagues or choleric superiors. You have to get through such situations - and you can do that with this tool.

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