The 5 best books on assertiveness, manipulation & power in a team {reading tip}

You know that: fellow human beings who simply don't want to be like us. But you also know them Solution? These 5 authors have them - and give tips for better cooperation.

Learning from the Incas means learning to win?

powerful Peoplewho sink into insignificance through their own mistakes: That applies to many these days, the most recent example being the MeeToo debate and Harvey Weinstein. What can we learn from them?

As is well known, people cannot learn from history, but they are always very regularly interested in it: it is not for nothing that the beginning of many book titles is “Ascent and case”. Whether Roman Empire, the Rich Alexander the Great but also the history of former global brands like Nokia.

Law of failure

What fascinates readers about such titles may well be the mystery behind the failure and descent from extraordinary power into insignificance.

How can it be that in the end there is nothing left of the former power? Is there something like a law of failure?

The Incas as a warning sign and impulse generator

Just a look at the top 10 of the Fortune 500 company list between 1990 and 2015 could give the impression that there could be such legitimacy.

The Incas also ruled a huge empire for centuries before they sank into insignificance within a few years. And the story of the Incas meets the reader of “The Illusion of Invincibility” regularly.

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Take your time

A warning to the buyers of this book in advance. Take some time, make yourself coffee or tea or open a good bottle of wine.

Because you probably will not put the book out of your hands and read it in one go. The Incas will accompany you; above all, what you can learn from your destiny.

It's about avoiding mistakes!

The crash of successful Companys Insignificance is not a fateful coincidence, it is usually not caused by external circumstances or even the much-vaunted disruption.

There are simply human errors behind it. "The moment of greatest strength and greatest success is also the moment of greatest vulnerability."

Early countersteering necessary

So forms In any case, the two authors say it already in their thoroughly gripping introduction.

The problem, however, is that a company has to take countermeasures at a point in time when everything seems to be going well and nothing seems to be going well Problems can be seen on the horizon.

Convincingly written management guide

Andreas Krebs and Paul Williams turn their attention to different trends and wisdom around the management in terms of content and excitement. For example, visions - because apparently every company needs one.

At least that's what the company brochures always say. But what actually makes a good vision? It's about timeless and therefore always current Ask of management:

It depends on the right values

Values, the question of the right choice of personnel, but also about company takeovers and mergers, to name just a few examples. The authors find their own Style from presentation and interview and always return to the Incas.

A fascinating book in more ways than one. Insights and impulses that make you think, written in an entertaining and captivating way - a win for managers and Executives. And who knows: If the Incas could have read this book, their history might have been different.

Clever manipulated is half won

It is also a very clever book that Volker Kitz presented with “You do what I want”. Not as martial as the title suggests, but very empathetically he describes communication techniques that are always manipulation techniques. Anyone who knows them can apply them specifically. Anyone who doesn't know them is giving away something.

“You can get whatever you want: a raise, your neighbors helping you move, your kids their rooms aufräu financing”. Sounds fantastic and is reminiscent of the legendary three wishes that you can make to a fairy (if you meet one).

Volker Kitz is not a fairy, but an author and lobbyist. The advice from his book worth reading "You do what I want" is also not magic and no tricks, but mostly comes from psychological laws.

To prevail - but please correct!

And that's why you can keep the promise that Kitz gave you in the introduction. But before that please to practice! The instructions are not automatic.

If your Executive If you want to convince yourself of a promotion or “just” persuade your partner to attend a Bundesliga game, then please forget it completely fast the obvious solution:

Just no rational arguments!

The struggle for the supposedly best arguments, which “are meaningless from the outset and in our Everyday life dramatically overestimated." Persuasion rarely follows rational points of view.

Better: you pack your wish in a lucrative barter for your negotiating partner. Instead of: "I am sensitive to noise and need a single office", you lure your boss with a big deal: "If I have more peace of mind to make calls, I could also take on the difficult customer calls that would otherwise end up with you in the future."

Create trust and sympathy

If you want to make other people your fellow players, you should first seek trust and sympathy, because "whoever likes you will help you." This can be done with small advance payments.

Be helpful, listen to others' problems. Be accommodating: “Other people like you when you make them theirs needs to satisfy." Ergo: Determine what others need from you and give them that in order to subsequently get what you want from them.

Relationships according to the Facebook-Principle

As a lobbyist, Kitz has tried it a hundred times: finding or establishing common ground is an excellent basis for successful negotiations. With the landlady who gave him the apartment instead of one of the others Candidate, the small talk passed over bananas.

In other cases the path is longer and takes more time. But it is almost always worthwhile. Because social relationships always run according to the facebook- Principle: "The more often you press the like button on others, the more like clicks you get yourself."

Find out what is important to the target person

Empathy and good observation skills are crucial for this: "Find out what is important to your target person". That is the key to fulfilling your wishes.

Conclusion: Volker Kitz has written a wonderfully penetrating book about the small, morally by no means reprehensible manipulation techniques in everyday life. And, by the way, a very revealing and entertaining report on the bony work of the many-fledged lobbyists in Berlin.

Social-life hacks for teamwork

The formulas for success for the salary talk with the boss, for the football confession with the partner or in the sales pitch with bulky customers so there is. Kishor Sridhar has neatly written them all together in his book Everything Obeys My Command.

50 top notch “Social Life hacks” came out of it. You will learn how to wrap colleagues (and unloved ones) around your finger Tasks onto Eye press, to which they also say “thank you”), how you can easily expose your children's lies or wrap the boss around your finger.

Virtual bouquets and baits

There is no magic involved, but it is Psychology. Sridhar puts every word you say to the other person on the gold scales. In discussions with criticism, you proceed very differently in terms of argumentation and expression than if you want to buy a car and bargain down the price in the process.

Always take them with you Perspektive of the other, throw him a bait, merchandise the truth with a (virtual) bouquet or let it disappear into what your interlocutor wants to hear.

You don't have to memorize the individual chunks of text. They think - like chess - in patterns. You only have to remember the strategic basics that the author explains in detail: “Framing”, for example, also “hero method” or “foot-in-the-door”. You should internalize these mechanisms.

50 manipulation tips

Even if Sridhar emphasizes several times that it doesn't concern him Tampering. The book does nothing else. But the whole thing is so clever and convincing that it is a pleasure to delve deeper Art of social tactics. Here are three of the 50 first-class tips:

Sridhar is a smart fellow. His guide to manipulation in everyday life is 90 percent well-founded psycho counselor, 10 percent bluff. But even these 10% read so well and amusingly that the book is a 100% Suggestions earned.

Lies reveal with a success rate of 85%

Because the Anxiety, being lied to and cheated on is always present. Germany's best-known lie expert, Jack Nasher, promises a remedy here. Regardless of whether it is at work or privacy; In his book “Entlarvt”, he tells you how to unerringly recognize and uncover the small and large fibs of everyday life. Exciting and useful!

No matter if yours Employees regularly swipe office supplies, celebrate sick or whether your child withholds bad grades: there are unpleasant conversations to be had. Unpleasant for the alleged culprit, because you him with the Background easily transferred from "Unmasked".

"Lyer researcher" Jack Nasher gives you an incredibly exciting introduction to the psycho-Tricks and interrogation methods of professionals. He explains in detail how the police and secret services elicit confessions from the delinquents and unmask lies confidently - without violence, of course.

As with Tatort and Sherlock Holmes

At first it sounds like “crime scene” or “Sherlock Holmes”, but it is actually very close to the reality of executives who work in the Conversation with problematic employees, want to uncover "the whole truth, nothing but the truth". Nasher knows how this (almost) always works. Knowledge of how to conduct a conversation, questioning techniques and body language gives you an enormous advantage over your opponent.

Anyone who wants to investigate must recognize the Reid technique with a success rate of 85 percent success: the interrogation method named after a US policeman is the most successful at all and always comes when you already know the offender, but need a confession.

This is how the Reid technique works

The first step is to bluff: "We know". In the second step, “feign understanding and downplay the deed”. And finally build the golden bridge by matching seemingly two Alternatives Pretend, "Have you been doing this for years, or did you just faint this once?"

Nash also reveals in his book a series of rhetorical tricks that serve as a door opener. Suggest that you know the truth, even if you have no pale glimmers.

Rhetorical tricks for transferring

Never show surprise, no matter what disturbing stories you are exposed to. Very important: “Avoid from the beginning any terms that expose your counterpart to an accusation. Do not say 'steal', but 'take'. ”

"Unmasked" reads exciting like a thriller. After the first few pages, you no longer put the book down. Knowledge of questioning techniques, bluffing and psychological traps is extremely useful for managers. Not only in the case of problematic employee interviews, but also in dialog with applicants.

Power is self-evident

Do all previous books clear: “Power” is an important topic, which nevertheless has something indecent about it. Nevertheless, we need them to assert our interests. And we have to defend ourselves when others want to exercise power over us. "Power games" by Matthias Nöllke shows what power games there are, how they work - and how we each other successfully fight against it.

“Power” is often more in our everyday life negative occupied. It is necessary to assert our interests or to defend ourselves against others. Because the old saying “knowledge is power. Knowing nothing doesn't matter” no longer applies.

Accordingly, “power” in itself is innocent. Using them is not a crime, but a matter of course. And the dominance gradient Workplace remains unproblematic as long as managers do not misinterpret the advantage of the authority to issue instructions.

Dominanzrituale from the Chefetage

The title seems quite harmless, but the book “Machtspiele” has a lot to offer: Author Matthias Nöllke relentlessly covers the secret rules of the game for everyday life Bullying im Office on. The basic pattern of the dominance rituals from the executive floor with the symbolic kicks and neck slaps for the foot soldiers.

But also the needle pricks with which the “Indians” poke each other or even bring down one of the chiefs. "Power games" brings to light what those affected only feel unconsciously but cannot explain - the impeller behind the hidden bullying.

Mobbing is a game for two

Pleasingly calm, Nöllke unmasks the typical power games and patterns. The word “game” sums it up very well. Because everyone involved in the unspoken Regulate have to agree in order for the pieces to move on the imaginary board. If you want to use your power, you need a sacrifice.

If the chosen person refuses, the game is over before the showdown occurs. That is also what the book is about. Consequently (and with a hint of irony) the author has also structured his guide like a board game manual: In each chapter he explains the "teammates", the "gameplay" and the variants for the "professionals".

The art of threatening right!

The author also shows how to make threats - and how to react correctly when you are on the other side. The book shows, for example, that threats to employees useful can be, but quickly fizzle out if they appear abstract or unrealistic.

Because this is the “art of the threat: you have to find something that seems uncomfortable enough to your opponent to do what you want.”

Fight successfully

Above all, however, employees benefit from the book who think they are trapped in the bullying trap. The author presents tried and tested countermeasures for all “power games”. This also applies to open threats from your superior: “You submit, but do not do what is asked of you, but something similar. You have to be the original Objective Missing just enough that the other realizes that he is not getting what he wanted. But you still have to get close enough to the target that he cannot carry out his threat. "

Concentrated psychological knowledge about the mechanisms of hidden and open conflicts in the German offices - without theoretical references. An immensely important book for those who want and need to fight back. Recommendation - without ifs and buts!

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