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Disclosure & Copyright: Our articles are written and edited by humans, and in some cases like this, we use the assistance of artificial intelligence to optimize texts. Image material created as part of a free cooperation with Shutterstock. Text originally from: “The farewell to objectivity: How you can actually use emotions to create movement” (2015), published by BusinessVillage Verlag, reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
By Markus Hornung (More) • Last updated on October 04.09.2023, XNUMX • First published on 23.10.2021/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 4994 readers, 1961 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Streit and conflicts in Team and at Workplace nobody likes it, but emotional killer phrases poison the office atmosphere in particular. And one is particularly bad.
Im Office should we actually work together as a team to create a common Objective to reach. Often enough, however, simmering conflicts and unspoken differences of opinion are part of it Agenda at work. There are, of course, healthy and constructive ways to argue and fight, but there are also harmful and destructive conflicts that do more harm than good.
The modern Working world is full of all kinds of killer phrases that are used in conflicts in the office and that are extremely aggressive, insulting or even destructive act. Many conflicts in the office could be resolved by omitting the relevant killer phrases light defuse by doing a few simple steps do before anything goes wrong. However, this requires an increased awareness of this topic.
Let me give you an example: The popular phrase “You don’t need any Anxiety to have” about. I'm well aware that the mere classification of the phrase "don't be afraid" as an emotional killer phrase will raise eyebrows or shake your head for some of you.
This is part of the standard repertoire of all understanding parents and Executives. Nevertheless, he is a classic example of senseless Communication! Because the situation has already been assessed - i.e. compared with the value system.
The corresponding neurotransmitters were Brain already poured out, whizzing in the limbic System back and forth, generating neurological fireworks in millions of nerve cells that we call an emotion. Including the somatic markers typical of them.
This emotion is a neurological-physiological fact at this moment, and if this emotion is fear, for example, the phrase "you needn't be afraid!" Sinn! The fear is already there!
With a similar justification, you could go to any passerby on the street and say to him: "You don't need to have the arm that has grown on your right shoulder!" Try it a few times and you will notice how the people around you react to such an absurd involvement.
This is especially true for the world of work: Working in the office is never easy. You are in a very stressful environment and while you know you should behave, conflict is inevitable. But you should simply avoid certain empty phrases.
It unites yours Employees and colleagues with all those who just aren't able to make the fear go away at the push of a button just because you're the Opinions are, he would have been wrong in his assessment of the situation a few seconds or minutes ago.
They realize that we all have these words in the repertoire when it comes to the fact that we are simply overwhelmed with the emotion of another and do not know exactly how to deal with it.
The collection can also be expanded almost indefinitely. However, I would like to end it with the “Mother of all emotional killer phrases”.
This classic will be in Business-Meetings you particularly enjoy using. The great Problem at the same time: He lets the recipient at most die Choice between the most annoying rebellion and defiant self-withdrawal.
Paradoxically, it is particularly popular in situations where the People do exactly what the owners and senior executives of Companys supposedly expecting:
Engaged in their passion in this same company, motivated and possibly even with passion and enthusiasm!
"Now let's stay factual!"
In 99,99 percent of all cases, when this sentence is uttered, people do not breathe deeply, lean back in Buddhist serenity and are objective afterwards!
The request to remain factual may be understandable from time to time. But its fulfillment does not lie in human nature. At least not as long as an emotion is the interaction of the mind and body, both of which react to an external stimulus! It's this saying that I think is the complete opposite of what we call Emotional Intelligence to understand.
This objectivity, as desired by the – apparently – rational speaker will not exist for as long as the ones shown emotions were not recognized for what they are, namely decision factors and communication signals.
From the perspective of using emotional killer phrases or to which emotions particularly many of them are used, from my point of view it is also possible to read the social acceptance of the individual emotions.
The particularly important emotion of grief stands out here in a special way, its sincere recognition seems particularly difficult for us. Because often enough it should be suppressed, fought and ideally choked off by others, but also by the mourners - instead of giving them time to mourn in peace. And that would be extremely important.
So let people have their emotions and don't try to push them away, even if they have a hard time.
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Markus Hornung is a consultant and speaker on the subject of emotional intelligence. As a graduate mathematician and physicist, he skilfully combines knowledge from philosophy, psychology and neuroscience with practical instructions on the use of and dealing with emotions. Hornung has been co-founder and managing director of the consulting company EQ Dynamics in Munich since 2003. His previous customers include MAN, various German educational institutions and associations, LBS Bayern as well as several savings banks and Volks- and Raiffeisenbanken in Germany. More information at www.eqdynamics.de All texts by Markus Hornung.
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