Dealing with Negative Emotions in Communication: Boss Killers & Other Movies

Let's mentally go to the cinema, to a film in which your Executive is murdered: That generates emotions. To choke them off with “It's just a movie” would be fundamentally wrong. The same applies to emotions in the Communication.

Dealing with the communications of others

In the course of our lives, we have developed the most important to-dos in dealing with the emotions of others and thus created a good basis for these emotions of our conversation partners to fulfill their purpose as communication signals.

So what is it all about? We are generally not used to being appreciative or appreciative of other people's emotions when we encounter them. And the emotions don't suit everyone. And that's why we often resort to killer phrases.

The fat naps of emotional communication

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This consideration would not be complete, however, if we did not also turn to dangerous faux pas of emotional communication. Because there are actually typical phrases that you should never use and that are even more problematic than the often misused word “but”.

It is about a certain kind of killerphrases, which are especially used in situations in which someone else becomes emotional. Because these can make you aware of what you have learned to deal with the emotions of others so far, we will call them emotional killer phrases.

Attention, killerphrase

You know what a killer phrase is. It is about those sentences that are said to have been experienced in their profession People - I sometimes call them smartasses - are conjured up from the sleeve whenever there is a need to teach you a lesson.

Some examples are “You are still closed for that jung!", "You're too old for that!" or an absolute classic that gets all my somatic markers going: "We've always done it this way!"

Emotional killer phrases are fatal

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A general killerphrase is thus characterized by the fact that it is intended to cement a certain circumstance as irrefutable, unchangeable or even completely absurd and does not open up the possibility of an exchange or negotiation to the recipient. Emotional killer phrases try the same with other people's emotions and are therefore deadly to deal with their emotions!

Depending on our nature, mood or current tolerance threshold, sooner or later we use language patterns that subliminally - or rather on a meta-level - follow message convey: “I see you. I realize that you are emotional. I can't handle it, so I want you to please stop having or showing this emotion right now!"

What a heart

Imagine the following situation: Something is going on for your heart! titanic It comes, as it must. The steamer breaks up killing thousands including our hero Jack played by Leonardo di Caprio with Jack in ours Brain is neither related nor related by marriage.

We look at the last row of chairs in the cinema hall. He is a macho of old school and his companion is something of the horror of all male fans of action movies, a close-up water-borne crypt. The following is the case:

“It's just a movie”

He (thinks): “Sensational special effects! Madness, how did they do it? The Cameron had half a steamer built. And when the thing broke apart earlier, someone crashed from the stern and bounced off the propeller before falling into the sea! Crazy what you can do with computers today! ”

She (sobbing): “My God, that's terrible! And soooo sad! ”

He (with a disapproving side view):

“Come on honey, don't queue up! It's just a movie! ”

Ladies, have you ever heard of this before? Do you know that? Gentlemen, have you ever said that? And another question: Have you ever experienced the most gracious response to this saying:

She (with sudden realization and more euphoric voice): “Ha! Correct!! You're right! Hooray, I'm feeling better!!”

The classic: man-woman communication

Never! It's much more likely that she wonders what kind of hardened guy she ended up in the cinema with. This is exactly where we take a closer look at emotional killer phrases. By the way, you will forgive me for having a very stereotypical situation in the field of man-Ms.-Communication. Everything that follows, of course, applies to both sexes.

If you, as a woman, want to use an emotional killer phrase, then you only have to go to a classic men's film with your partner, for example a doomsday scenario à la Terminator II, and then ask yourself when the machines and the last humans left on earth fight each other your companion entirely confident and dry, whether the whole film is not "a little unrealistic".

We can not handle the emotions of others

As we said before, we are generally not used to being appreciative or worthy of the emotions of others when we meet them.

Depending on the nature, mood or instant tolerance threshold, sooner or later we use language patterns that subliminally - or rather on a meta level - convey the following message: “I see you. I perceive that you are emotional. I can't cope with that and I would therefore like you to stop having or showing this emotion immediately! ”

Let's make ourselves clear: There is nothing else behind the phrase “It's just a film!”

Why emotional killer phrases?

For this reason, we also call this type of language pattern emotional killer phrases. Apart from the fact that the film industry turns over billions of dollars per year precisely because it generates emotions - which is what the phrase “It's just a movie!” in itself already lends a certain absurdity - the sender of such words reaches to be Objective does not.

No one stops having emotions because of such a prompt! This is simply because emotion, at the moment it is shown, is a physical state, a physiological and neurological fact, a cocktail of neurotransmitters in the limbic System. This cocktail doesn't really care if someone allows its owner to have this emotion!

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