- So important is emotional intelligence
- Dealing with feelings
- Why recognition is important!
- "It's okay for me to have emotions"
- Leave the emotional killer phrases away!
- When unwanted emotions are amplified
- Advice is also punches
- The top 10 of emotional killer phrases
- Typical killer phrases and their effect
- The top ten emotional killer phrases
- Top books on the subject
- Read text as PDF
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So important is emotional intelligence
How important it is to deal with emotions intelligently, I would like to reiterate with one Definition clarify: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to perceive one's own emotions and the emotions of others as well as the values behind them.
Dealing with feelings
The books on the subject (advertising)
This includes differentiating (ie, distinguishing) from one another, believing in a credible way and dealing with them in a forward-looking and purposeful way.
The whole in such a way that in the interplay with rational minds and behaviors comes a conclusion of the situation beneficial for all concerned.
Why recognition is important!
This is in large part because without prior recognition of an emotional state, a change or detachment from this is not possible.
"It's okay for me to have emotions"
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This applies to both your own emotions and the emotions of others. The empowering attitude here is, “It's totally in Orderthat I have this emotion”, or: “It is perfectly fine that the other person has this emotion.”
The discussion described here is a bit explosive, because it challenges some of the most widely used utterances.
Leave the emotional killer phrases away!
So when I am asked as a trainer for emotional intelligence after the don'ts, my first and only answer is:
If we take a look at the collection of these eloquent speeches, we are amazed not only about their abundance, but also on a narrow line between tragedy and comedy.
When unwanted emotions are amplified
Because what all emotional killer phrases have in common is that they are yours Objectiveto get the other to stop showing his emotions, not to achieve. In most cases, the (careless) use even leads to the fact that the undesirable emotions are intensified.
Many of these emotional killer phrases are also used to donate comfort in moments of grief, a fundamentally wonderful and honorable intention. Unfortunately, the sadness is not easy to impress or even disappear.
Advice is also punches
Two classics of this group are, for example, “Other Mothers have beautiful daughters too!” and "It'll all be fine by the time we get married!"
The little consolation Effect Each of us has certainly felt such well-intentioned advice at some point in our lives. After all, advice is also a beating.
The top 10 of emotional killer phrases
We have been collecting these speeches for years in our seminars and know that anyone who uses them will certainly make a lasting impression, but unfortunately not the one he wanted to achieve.
Let's take a look at the top 10 of emotional killer phrases we've found, to get an in-depth look at where the rabbit is going.
Typical killer phrases and their effect
The following 10 points should give you an idea of how typical emotional killer phrases are act and work in communication.
In order to illustrate the actual effect, I once wrote my spontaneous reaction, which is, of course, openly communicated in the most recent cases:
The top ten emotional killer phrases
"It could have been worse!"
"Says who? What could be worse? And what use is that to me? ”
"Now don't get so excited!"
"But I'm getting upset !!"
"Now calm down!"
"Why should I? It gets on my nerves! I don't calm down just because you want to! ”
"It's not that bad!"
"But! Is it! For me it is even a reason to freak out! ”
"Time heals all wounds!"
“I know that myself, you smartass! But at the moment I don't have time and I'm feeling bad right now! ”
"Life goes on!"
"Nice clear, I know that too! Why should that make me feel better now? "
“It will be (again)!”
"I know that and I don't care at the moment!"
"Now don't make an elephant out of a mosquito!"
“I'll give you your mosquito right away, you ignorant! For me it's an elephant !!! ”
"You do not need any Anxiety to have"
"Is that what you're telling me now? I already have them! I assessed the situation some time ago and in my Brain all the messenger substances that make up the emotion of fear have already been released and make my neurons fire! Should I tell them now that they stop because I supposedly had a perception problem a few seconds ago?"
First place among the emotional killer phrases goes to the following sentence: "Now let's stay factual!"
Top books on the subject
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