Letting go of fear & living freely: checklists & self-assessment

Wie kann man Anxiety and fear that many have to overcome every day in the face of media reports and the uncertainties of life?

Put fear into words

The first step to overcoming fear, anxiety or Stress is to determine the nature of these reactions. Even before researching the causes, it is important to put the experience of fear into words. Man is a linguistic being. sensations emotions, thoughts and words structure this language. Fear is also a central affect, a biological mechanism that unfolds in the body to transform itself into complex components.

Psychiatrist and co-founder of Gestalt therapy Fritz Perls said: "There is only a deep breath between fear and arousal." Any fear can be turned into a wish, a movement, and an opportunity for fulfillment if you breathe fully through it. Fear is not an enemy. Life without fear shows a way to tame this strange ally, the fear. However, you should self-assess your fears and take stock of your relationship with your inner child.

Recognize your own fears - some meaningful experience reports

In the following you will find some typical fear situations and descriptions of real people:

Karine: »In the morning I wake up with fear in my stomach. I curl up in my bed and can't get up. I have a nausea. I'm used to it. Sometimes I even say to myself that I love this state. «

Patrick: “In certain professional situations I want to flee, run far away and scream. I don't understand why that is. If I let myself go, I'll break down. My hands tremble. And after that, I'll be the cold and distant professional again when dealing with my colleagues. That's the only way I've found to catch myself again. "

Géraldine: I brood too much. I imagine hair-raising scenarios: getting bad news, a loved one People or lose a valuable item, or that I am confronted with an unpredictable reaction from the person opposite me..."

Florence: »I always feel the same inability. I keep repeating to myself that I will not be able to do this or that! This fear haunts me the most. "Alain:" I often have a lump in my throat. It tightens my throat like a vise, sometimes down to my stomach. My emotions are blocked. I'm sad or angry without really knowing why, but nothing comes off. «

The different faces of fear

Fear manifests itself in very different ways: • There is diffuse and strong unfounded fear. It generally acts as a fear of "something" that could happen, and is expressed in intense tension. Often it cannot even be named. The victim has the impression of being directly threatened with death. The sensation factor predominates here (feeling of trepidation and tightness in the body). Such an anxiety attack consists of several symptoms that replace each other in a short time (about ten minutes).

Anxiety is an anticipated fear: "It is experienced in connection with anticipation, foreboding or an approaching danger." It is a preliminary stage of diffuse fear. It can be chronic in the form of permanent restlessness and be accompanied by a strong physiological component. Phobia is a fear triggered by a precise object or a specific situation, which is directly connected with a supposed danger. The psychological and behavioral components are very present. Stress, once persistent, is a disturbing fear. Here the psychological and sensitive characteristics are pronounced. Stress is the result of distorted perceptions and assessments of a situation.

Subliminal fears: 5 types

Subliminal fears * are very numerous. They hide behind diffuse fear, worry, phobia and stress. Because they remain hidden, they paralyze a large part of the creative life energy. Below is a typology of subliminal fears:

1. Blocking fears like fear of losing control
2. Fears of adaptation like the fear of making a fool of yourself.
3. Childhood fears like the fear of the dark
4. Relationship fears like the fear of being rejected.
5. Basic fears like separation anxiety

Unlike healthy fears related to survival and caution, underlying fears are phantasmatic. The automatic, unconscious Brain Recent research has shown that the brain works at 100 percent of its capacity day and night, from birth to death. What is even more unbelievable: Only 1 percent of this brain activity takes place consciously! This conscious activity is intended for cognitive and motor skills (thinking, seeing, feel, remember, move, decide, act …).

With the remaining 99 percent Energy »consolidates, confirms, confirms, corrects or reforms the unconscious brain activity the neural networks«. Every person has a vision of themselves and of the World, which is completely filtered and interpreted by an unconscious brain activity. Working on the underlying fears gives you the opportunity to reconsider your beliefs, change your perceptions, and act differently. Your brain is neuroplastic. It is, unbeknownst to you, the seat of constant change. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to calm your fears.

Discover the inner child

How is the Term created by the inner child? In 1990 we created the French group Cœur d'enfant (in English: children's heart) to accompany everyone to do it again Contact to embrace his inner child. At that time, this approach was mostly met with incomprehension. To most people, the thought of the child in them seemed silly or, worse still, infantile and regressive. Today, the importance and effectiveness of this psychotherapeutic approach are validated by neuroscientific work. Certain neural networks of the human brain function emotionally, intuitively, symbolically, imaginatively and independently of time and space.

The metaphor of the inner child* mobilizes them and contributes to reintegrating numerous features of the lost potential from childhood. The concept of the inner child is based on the work of the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung on the "divine child". This guiding principle of the collective unconscious symbolizes the promise that the self* will be fulfilled. Jung affirmed that the little child in a human being is the source of grace. Following him, the Italian neuropsychiatrist Roberto Assagioli recalled in Principles of Psychosynthesis that the inner child is at the heart of the ego. The term emerged in the United States in the 1960s and 1970s.

The importance of transaction analysis

The American psychiatrist Eric Berne established a theory of personality and the transactional analysis Communicationwhich is based on the three "I-states": adult-me, parent-me and child-me. In 1979 it was taken over by the Swiss Alice Miller, doctor of the Psychology, with her seminal work The Drama of the Gifted Child, to defend the experience of the child one has been. In all of her works, she developed important theories about the wounded inner child on account to wear. In the 1980s, the work of the American psychotherapists Hal and Sidra Stone on partial personalities brought the inner child closer to the general public.

In 1990, the famous American psychologist John Bradshaw became one of the fathers of the concept of the inner child. His work on the Family, the harmful Effect the shame and the different ages of the inner child are fundamental. Today we differentiate in our research and our practice clear the adapted child * from the inner child. This distinction makes the process of mental healing much more efficient.

What is the relationship with your inner child like?

The adapted child is a false ego* that infects the adult. The creative inner child invites everyone to like their natural qualities creativity, love, spontaneity, joy, freedom, play, free expression of emotions etc. The wounded inner child is the small, fragile and frightened being that lives in the heart of every person in exile. It exhorts the adult to be empathetic and compassionate towards them. Most underlying fears belong to the conformist child that takes up too much space and suppresses the inner child.

Take stock of your relationship with your inner child. Spontaneously answer yes or to the following statements No. Do not hesitate, but choose the answer that comes to mind first:

• I feel fear or fear of something new.
• I try to please others.
• I regularly have conflicts with other people.
• I avoid conflicts - as best I can.
• I keep everything and don't throw anything away at home.
• I am a fanatic of order and cleanliness.
• I rarely feel up to the challenge.

The components of fear: self-assessment

The following self-assessment will help you identify the main components of your fears. Based on the selected symptoms listed below, you can define one or more components of your anxiety. Check the symptoms you know about yourself and then assess their strength: weak, medium or strong.

Physiological component

weak - medium - strong I feel physically:

• laced throat
• wet hands
• Tachycardia (rapid heartbeat)
• hot flashes
• frequent urge to urinate
• Muscle tension
• dry mouth
• abdominal discomfort
• exhaustion
• Chills
• giddiness
• Tremble
• Other:

Feeling component

weak - medium - strong. I feel:

• dizziness
• Instability
• impatience
• Eile
• Fainting
• Trepidation
• unreality
• Loss of personality
• Emptiness in the head
• loss of control
• Getting crazy
• Others: …

Behavioral component

weak - medium - strong Mine Behavior is as follows:

• I avoid the person, the object or the situation
• I am unable to speak (or only with great difficulty)
• I cry or flinch without being able to control it
• I am aggressive in words and / or actions
• I postpone it until the next day (procrastination)
• I move a lot (hands, arms, legs, body movements)
• I cannot move (or only with great difficulty)
• I collect a lot and stuff my living space
• I am crushed or stunned
• I am scared
• I'm panicking
• I am irritable
• Others: …

Physiological component

weak - medium - strong I have recurring thoughts and feelings

• I am ashamed
• I'm shy
• I imagine troubling situations
• I imagine my reactions to a person or situation
• I always focus my fear on the same object, the same situation, the same thing
• I'm waiting for the others' permission or approval
• I have manias or there are objects that I cannot separate from
• I have self-doubt
• I feel like a zero, incapable or incompetent
• It's hard for me to choose
• Others: …

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