Looking ahead positively after life crises: Change the script for motivation

Imagine you have analyzed yourself. But to get in Future To be able to behave differently, you also have to rewrite your inner script. A couple of suggestions.

Change the script

For example, instead of "I am ok if ... this or that condition is fulfilled" it could be: "I am OK as I am." Recognizing and changing this “script” does not happen overnight.

This actual conclusion of the Crisis, which clears the way for something new, does not find its way into dealing with others People instead of, but in oneself.

Time and help

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You need time, possibly professional support, and you also need to accept that you will relapse. So this process takes a lot Energy. You don't necessarily have to take time off to do this, but your new job shouldn't be too strenuous - so you still have the necessary energy to rewrite your script.

Usually, both are parallel: recovery from the stress, which was usually already felt before the career break, and deals with what went wrong at the same time. Slowly the old forces return, and one becomes active again and thinks over where it is to go.

Successful or unsuccessful?

During the Psychology become what the expectation of Success are concerned, two completely different types are described in which the self-motivation runs according to completely opposite patterns: namely people who are success-motivated and people who are failure-motivated.

success Motivated

First, there are the so-called “success-motivated”. They expect that they will succeed. If success then actually occurs, they attribute it to their own Performance, their own abilities, but also their own efforts.

If they fail, they blame so-called “time-variable” factors, that is, factors that can change over time: it was bad luck, lack of effort or unfavorable framework conditions.

Failure Motivated

Then there are the so-called “failure motivated”: With them it works the other way around. Success is more often attributed to external factors such as luck or an easy task. Failures, on the other hand, are more often justified by a lack of personal skills. From this attitude, failure-motivated people often avoid situations in which they would have to perform a certain achievement.

Women are often motivated by failure at work. True to the motto of Oscar Wilde, who did not want to belong to any club that would have accepted him as a member, they are often quite amazed when others believe they are more capable of promotion than they and their superiors suggest. "I was just lucky," they often say.

A defeat is not a failure yet!

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"Socialization means that for women a defeat means failure, for men it means a new game," explains coach and Konflikt-Expert Claus Nowak. Fortunately, there is already a change in this regard. More and more women are brought up in such a way that they can expect professional success for themselves in their innermost being and that they can stand by their abilities. In turn, they serve as role models for the next generation.

Ask Yourself Honestlywhat type they are. If you decide that you are more “failure oriented” when it comes to professional success, you should seek support from a Coach search and that Problem discuss with him or her. Because changing one's own attitude from "failure-oriented" to "success-oriented" is not easy to do at the push of a button, but a difficult and lengthy process.

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