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From Professor Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler (More) • Last updated on October 09.02.2024, XNUMX • First published on 10.04.2018/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 7395 readers, 2686 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Conflicts are completely normal in our day-to-day work, and they can hardly be avoided, even with the greatest effort. Therefore, we should learn to deal with you properly. 10 steps for Solution of the problem.
If you want to see it in a positive light, arguments are a sign of a lively culture of conversation and often a reason for change. But: you have to tackle it properly!
Conflicts are often not solved at all or are not solved objectively and therefore lead to permanent disputes among those involved, sometimes they can even "poison" the atmosphere within an entire department. To avoid such negative consequences, you should consider the following notice.
Tackle “hot irons” or tricky topics early on and don't shy away from problems. Because unresolved, smoldering conflicts prevent constructive cooperation between those affected, burden the efficiency of the department and unnecessarily distract from the important ones Tasks away. In addition, conflicts tend to increase in severity and scope over time.
If you're into a Konflikt are involved, the following procedure is recommended. You can of course also use this analogously if you, as a mediator, want or have to settle a dispute between colleagues or employees.
Before you even resolve a conflict, you should ask yourself, “Am I willing to end this argument and possibly make concessions in return?” If it is clear to you in advance that only the other Debt has and you Behavior is faultless, then it has none Sinnto start arbitration - you must have a certain willingness to compromise / change.
When it comes to a conflict in which you are not involved, but act as a third party (neutral arbitrator), ask yourself: "Am I the right person to solve this dispute?" Personal, hierarchical, authoritarian, or other reasons may suggest that you better leave the arbitration to someone else.
First, consider how there could be any dispute at all. Try to remember what happened in the past. As a neutral conciliator, you should know how the conflict has come about who is involved and what has happened.
However, do not ask (yet) those directly affected, but only the environment. Do not interprete the information received, but keep in mind that the information may be deliberately or unconsciously wrong - so do not take everything at face value.
Approach the people involved in the conflict individually and tell them that you are Problem or would like to or have to solve the dispute (on behalf of the supervisor). Ask Tell those affected what you expect from a conflict discussion and, if applicable, what fears they have.
Make yourself clear: Conflicts arise every day in our work and when we live together with others. What matters is how we deal with them and how we solve them. Best of all, step by step!
Make an appointment with your “counterparty” or the person concerned. Appointments in the late afternoon are well suited because you then have no pressure “out backwards” and because those affected can then go straight home.
Choose a neutral place for the conflict discussion, not yours Office or that of the “counterparty” or one of those affected. Make sure you are not disturbed, that there are no listeners and that no supervisors are present.
Start this Conversation, by first presenting the procedure. After you have greeted your "opponent" or those affected, explain the further process, which should consist of the following points (they correspond to the next steps 6 to 10):
Once each stakeholder has presented his or her position, you should now work out the positions. First, try to get the people concerned to provide answers, then resolve the conflict together.
Talk to your “counterparty” or the person concerned about this Objective of the conversation and go through the point by point Regulate through: Say that it is not about clarifying the question of guilt or about administering justice, but that the goal is to solve the problem together.
Say that you do not appear as an opponent, but as an equal participant. If you act as a neutral conciliator: Say what your tasks are:
At the end of the conversation, make sure all attendees are ready to work on conflict resolution. If this is not the case, then you can end the conversation immediately.
Now the actual conflict resolution begins. Let your “counterparty” go first. Each of the conflict partners now describes the conflict one after the other from their point of view, as specifically and specifically as possible.
Follow up if, for example, it says “Always do this and that” by asking: “When was the last time you did this?” Also try to get participants to express their feelings. Very important in this phase: All other participants in the conversation are silent, there are no accusations, no discussions, no interruptions and no immediate search for solutions.
Ask: "What do we agree on?" If the conflict partners remain silent, you can determine where you have discovered common ground. This is very important, because this is how the participants see that they are not completely apart. Then turn to the differences. Ask: “What do we disagree on? What are the real sticking points? ” Record the results in writing as they are the basis for the next step.
At this stage of conflict resolution, you work through the individual differences one by one. Crucial to Success is that the individual points are dealt with separately and not mixed up with one another. Always do the same thing Pattern before:
Make sure that more than one solution is developed so that you can get a real one selection and, if necessary, be able to reach a compromise. Try to get the positions moving, for example by giving pros and cons for each one Alternatives name (let) or carry out a brainstorming.
The important thing is: Accept all suggestions – after all, even those that initially seem absurd can be accepted ideas be the key to success. Pay particular attention to casually made offers to the other side, because experience has shown that these are often decisive for an amicable agreement. Ideally, a list of alternative solutions should be available at the end of this phase.
In conclusion, it is important that you and your “counterparty” or the conflict partners agree on a solution. To ensure that the solution is permanent, you also need to work with stakeholders to set criteria that help them measure whether the agreement is being met and followed.
Before you say goodbye to your "opponent"/the participants in the conversation, you should repeat all the results (solutions and criteria) again and make sure that the conflicting parties have understood the same thing. Finally, ask the question: “After this conversation, can you (again) constructive work with me/with each other?”
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Prof. Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler teaches at the University of Economics and Management (FOM) in Frankfurt am Main. Dafler, born in 1969, studied business administration and has been working as an independent communications and marketing consultant and trainer ever since - his clients include both large and medium-sized companies as well as numerous associations and academies. Since the beginning of 2010 he has been a lecturer at the University of Economics and Management (FOM) in Frankfurt am Main. His publications include “The career driver's license - tips for success for everyone who starts working”. All texts from Professor Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler.
In some cases it can also be helpful to use professional mediators. Those who also provide lawyers and specialist advisors to the conflicting parties. Conflicts can arise in the most varied of areas, in the family, then it would be something for family law, in the business area, then you would need financial experts as additional advisors. In any case, the solution-oriented discussion is the appropriate means.
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