If you want to be free, you have to learn to understand life – without condemning it. This is the big one Art. More substance and Effect, fewer actionism. There are temptations to make hasty judgments every day: Criticism from Executive, a promotion or the Choice between jumping and not jumping.
- How do you become a millionaire?
- Self-worth trap vs. Confidence case
- By making others smaller, we feel better ourselves
- Listening as a sign of weakness?
- Shine instead of being must be enough!
- The wiser gives way
- Listening as a sign of inferiority?
- The ear is the way
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How do you become a millionaire?
In my seminars, I always ask my audience the question: “If you had the choice between two bags. There is strength in one and the ability to become strong in the other. Which bag would you choose? ” Or another example: “There is a fulfilled and successful life in one bag. And the other one has the skills for it. Where do you instinctively reach? ” Or quite daring:
“What bag do you want? The one with a million euros or the one with the ability to generate a million? ”
Most decide Intuitively, not for the bag of skills, but for the bag of results. And this is where the problem lies. This People think they are already something and don't want to become anything more, learn anything more. They think they are better than they are. And that's why they have a right to the first bag. And now, immediately. Don't just listen and record anymore, just want to have it right away. In fact, they deserve more. Now! Anything else is unfair.
Self-worth trap vs. Confidence case
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But what is behind it? There are two answers: the self-esteem trap and the confidence trap. The self-esteem trap manifests itself in an illusion of superiority and is a widespread phenomenon. It is very easy to understand and very difficult to stop. A question for understanding: What is easier, recognizing the deficits of others or one's own deficits? The question put like this, it depends on the Hand: We know that we recognize the mistakes of others more easily than our own.
The following story fits in with this: Two married couples meet for a coffee. After two hours they part. Who will be talked about afterwards? Right, the other couple is talked about. And how do you talk about the other couple? Do you talk about what other people are doing so well and what can be learned from them? Or is it discussed where their potential for improvement lies in the relationship? We know the answer. Any why is this the case?
By making others smaller, we feel better ourselves
Our lesser Self worth makes sure we negative talk about others to better ourselves feel. An illusion of superiority arises, the illusion of superiority. That's why almost everyone thinks they really need more to earn: more Respect, more Esteem, more love, more Money. Anything else would be unfair. And so it would be fair to have more. Now. And that's why clearwhich bag is being picked up.
The self-confidence trap also ensures that the “now wanting bag” is used instead of the “wanting something bag”. We don't trust ourselves deep inside. "What I have, I have it!" We don't trust that we can do it ourselves with our skills. That is why we prefer the result without effort. Don't really learn - it doesn't work anyway, I can't do anything anyway. That's why we want to be more now and above all have more.
Listening as a sign of weakness?
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Listening, absorbing, learning could be a sign of weakness be interpreted. That could expose us. If you have to learn, you don't know everything yet! He's not trained yet, not complete, maybe not grown up yet. Background power is feigned, and ignorance shown is powerlessness. So pretend. "Fake it till you make it", everyone does that...
Pretend that we can, that we know, that we have everything under control. We don't want to be an “apprentice” and learn. We want to stand as “knowing” and prove that we know. We want to show our knowledge, we don't want to record anything anymore, we want to be shown, we want to give up, present our knowledge or keep the appearance of the knower. The direction of travel of the one-way street goes outwards and not inwards.
Shine instead of being must be enough!
The roller shutter is permeable at the bottom and only in one direction. Appearance instead of being! It must be enough. Children are very different. They soak up knowledge and experience. You take them Welt in itself, they are amazed, amazed, surprised again or frightened by the unknown. Many adults no longer allow themselves that: they have Anxiety before standing there as stupid, ignorant and thus apparently weak.
I was often accused of this attitude. Because I was open, wanted to learn and sit in a wheelchair, I was underestimated by many. They thought they had a grip on me. You would be superior to me. And I stayed calm and continued learning. Eventually my results got better and better, and I overtook them one after the other.
The wiser gives way
I was accused of hypocrisy by the “superior illusionists”. The vernacular knows a different perspective: the wiser gives in.
I kept the instinct to make myself small for certain situations. It is interesting how many still accept the invitation to feel superior to me today. "Listen!", It was said as a child: Attention, there is instruction on how something works or how it doesn't.
Listening as a sign of inferiority?
Listening and listening is often associated with being in an inferior position. Suddenly we push ourselves into a child's role, even though we have long since outgrown our infancy, and experience our opponent as a measured, right-thinking, superior adult, even though we may be in an equal situation right now.
The big misconception is that I am not strong when I need to hear (and learn). The ignorant, like a child, is not taken seriously by the knower. The knower is the supposedly better person. In the minds of men, the knower, or one who shows his knowledge or, in doubt, acts as if he knows, is almost automatically the stronger, the superior. He can dominate. And that is what many want: dominate, prevail.
The ear is the way
Hearing, recording triggers an underlying position in the minds of many people. For many people, listening and recording are synonymous with having to learn, and that means: not knowing. If they allowed themselves to be heard, they would show that they are ignorant. That is why they only want to understand if they also agree with what they have heard. They don't feel perfect because they have a knowledge gap to fill. And nobody wants to show that - neither to themselves nor to others. And so the consequence is: “I know!” "I know!!" "I know about!"
deep Things to Learn-Wanting means understanding, absorbing, processing and wanting to implement. And to understand deeply, I have to listen and take in the world, let it in. First in mine Head absorb, intellectually. And then absorb it through experiences into my whole being, emotionally. Again and again, every day. Take note of what is actually there. The Courage have to face the truth and acknowledge what is there. In me and around me. And that's only possible if I'm so strong inside wanting to understand that I don't have to agree.
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