Choleric Psychopaths Narcissists: 5 Tricks For Dealing With Bad Bosses

Many People suffer from bad bosses, narcissists and psychopaths. But the good news is: you can do something about such people - even if they seem to have more power.

Weak bosses - why does nothing happen?

When I leaked which book I was currently working on during my excursions in the practice, I was filled with stories of suffering. An incredible number of people suffer from boss monsters. Most of them don't just whine and gossip about him behind his back Executive, but do something. Surprisingly often with an anonymous letter to the management. I advise against it. Chef Hack 7: Don't write anonymous letters! Unfortunately, this usually backfires. Which is logical: if the management was any good, they would have put their monster boss on a leash long ago. But she hasn't: There are also asses over the ass. The Companys is largely archified and should actually be quarantined by the Federal Health Office.

This broadband management infection explains why many executives do nothing about their weak bosses, even when anonymous incendiary letters arrive. For example, to single out one case, there is a fire letter from a corporate division that reveals grievances that would not even go through under martial law. A division manager in this group does Management by Bullying and constantly yells at everything and everyone at the volume of a continuously firing self-propelled howitzer, terrorizes employees and even yells at pregnant colleagues so that they call in sick. So the staff sent off a letter containing thirty-four pages on seventeen pages of verbal abuse and harassment that would make any decent person flush with anger.

1. Do not write anonymous letters!

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What does the management do? She doesn't fix the grievances. She doesn't even summon the boss, who is a disgrace to all bosses, to the curtain sermon. No, she sends him the anonymous letter with the succinct remark: »What's the matter with you? Get your shop back on track as soon as possible!” He does. On the basis of the grievances described in detail in the letter, he can easily identify the victims of his mistreatment despite anonymization - and fires them. Dismissal is added to the mistreatment. Ergo: Anonymity is no protection. Anonymity protects only one person in an arschified company (office, ministry, association...): the perpetrator or perpetrators. As bad as this case is - and it's not the only one - the survivors learned something from it.

You no longer write anonymous letters. If the boss now rushes at a victim with a roar and drives them into a corner, two or three colleagues pull the fire on them. You distract the boss. Just by saying something too. That is enough. Then the boss still yells, but then his tirade is spread over several colleagues. This is easier for everyone to bear. The victim realizes: I am not alone! The others stick with me! Solidarity does not prevent the rabid dog from being bitten, but it has a therapeutic effect: the wound heals faster and no longer hurts as much.

2. Unite to rebel against chief cholerics

This hack requires something initially Courage, but gives you an all the better feeling afterwards: If the boss makes a mess of one of you – jump to his/her help immediately! Not by defending him/her. That excites choleric even more. But by participating objectively in the »discussion«. The more they do, the less alone the victim is - and the faster the choleric loses it Lust at his seizures.

In such a case, one could of course discuss the role of the works council. But Honestly: What sensible person could blame the works council here? He has it himself Anxiety from the rabid berserker and does not want to make himself the target of his outbursts of anger. Of course, the works council could sue. But the lawyers are in doubt: Can bosses be prosecuted for mental cruelty? As long as the lawyers can't craft a watertight indictment, the works council prefers to keep their hands off it. In addition, there are now conditions in this group like in the mafia: no victim dares to testify against the boss monster. Not even in court, not even under witness protection because the bosses are more powerful than lawyers, police and courts. That's not the end of the Welt. There are other means. We know one of them from trauma therapy: breaking contact.

3. Get out of the situation!

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If the boss is aggressive, personally insulting or even violent: leave the room immediately without saying a word and without making eye contact! Since the organizational psychologist of the group this recipe under the Hand leaked out and also explained its use to the victims, many in the branch practice it.

As soon as the professional choleric starts to yell again, they leave the room: contact is broken. At first, many feared: "But then he'll get even angrier and pursue me!" The psychologist knew: No, he doesn't. For a choleric attack is an affective action. If the affect is interrupted, the action is interrupted - in most cases. At least more often than if you let it get to you. Therefore, breaking contact protects the victims and acts as a separator for the perpetrators, as a pattern breaker. It is also advisable to flee to a group of colleagues: choleric people prefer to romp around in groups of four Eyes. As soon as they are in the minority, their common sense usually kicks in again. This recipe doesn't always work. But far more often than being yelled at in a defenseless, unprovoked, inappropriate, and disproportionate way.

4. The cold return delegation: Go to your "safe place"!

Many people practice breaking contact internally. As soon as the boss yells around, they mentally switch to draft and go to their "safe place" in their imagination. So to that imaginary place to which you always go in your mind when reality becomes too impudent. The »safe place« always works reliably if you put it on calmly before the next stressful situation, shape it and train the journey there two dozen times. Then you will be safe here when thunderstorm breaks out - my word for it. Internal security is purely a question of training.

Everyone knows this type of delegation. The catch is: those who know and practice them are usually not those who need them most. Anyone who does not know what to do before work and is then harassed by the supervisor seldom thinks about how he or she could degrade the boss to his or her own clerk, so to speak.

Strictly speaking, cold re-delegation is an informal but extremely effective change notice for a limited period of time. You fire your boss and at the same time hire him as your clerk for a limited period of time. Sabine does it. Although she is completely overwhelmed and has only left the room at seven in the evening for weeks Office comes (her husband then puts the little ones to bed), the boss gives her a job that will easily require another ten hours a week for the next three months – which she doesn’t have. Luckily, it's quite a technical job: Sabine's boss is an engineer and has a thing for everything technical. So what does Sabine do?

5. Let the boss work for you!

Don't complain that you're completely overwhelmed: no boss wants to hear that. Play dumb and keep asking about trivial details until the boss does the work for you. In 10 to 20 percent of Tasks this works. Don't use this hack more than that 20 percent lest the boss actually think you're stupid. Sabine acts clumsy. She goes to the boss two or three times and "gets advice" on things that she knows and can do herself. At some point the boss jumps on it and says: "You just can't bake it! Hand it over and I'll do it myself!' What that Objective of exercise was. The boss hired himself as a clerk; as clerk by and for Sabine.

But you don't want to be seen as "bumbling"? Sabine doesn't either. That's why she says: “He sees that I'm capable of something with all other tasks. And they are clear in the plural.” She turns the Method of delegating back is not always included. Only when necessary. Give the boss what he wants! A particularly elegant way of disempowering the boss is: If he wants something stupid from you - give it to him!

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