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From Dr. Cornelia Topf (More) • Last updated on October 15.02.2024, XNUMX • First published on 16.06.2015/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 4285 readers, 1769 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
It doesn't work or not light enough progress? The work, the task is no longer fun? Then hang in there! Work harder? Better: Work smarter. For example with a change of perspective: Change the Perspektive and everything will be easier.
I'm mowing my lawn and the neighbor complains about the noise of my - electric mower! Does my neighbor have a "wheel off"? I'm sitting in Meeting, make a great suggestion and the colleague says: "That doesn't support our budget." But for their moderate ideas we always have Money?
My job eats me up, it's badly paid too, I urgently need to look for something better, but my relationship partner says: “Giving up a safe job? Think good about it!" With such a scaredy by my side, I can never find anything better! What do these three examples have in common? The perspective koller.
In all three situations it comes to Konflikt, there is no progress, there is discussion instead of action, the necessary change is not happening, that Projects rests, the appointments are not kept, Innovation does not take place, creativity is slowed down, the team atmosphere suffers, there is no improvement, the relationship is broken or destroyed - because the other "has a problem", is a "scared cat", has "moderate ideas"? Nobecause that's my point of view. I don't know another one or I (unconsciously) don't allow it.
Otherwise I would find out that the neighbor's baby has finally nodded off behind the hedge for his summer nap and that a baby is of course also woken up by an electric motor. I would know that yesterday the colleague spent the last bit of her budget on a machine failure and there really isn't any money left. And I know that my relationship partner doesn't give me any Anxiety make, but only want to protect myself from my spontaneous decisions.
“Normally” we are quite reasonable People; tolerant, open, let us talk. Under Stress the reptilian brain puts an end to it. Once the adrenalinespiegel rises, we tend to confuse our point of view with factual reality - unconsciously. We no longer “know” that there are other perspectives. Even if we should come to the conclusion that one can also look at things differently, we devalue different points of view with thoughts/sayings like: "What's the point? He shouldn't be like that! He sees it completely wrong." Perspective rigidity, often euphemistically called "conservatism," kills everyone change. The change of perspective is the father, the driver, the enabler of every change.
Of course it is useful, to stick to my own point of view: I want a snack because I'm hungry - and I won't let the hunger talk me out! To stand by his own point of view Orientation and safety and advances - until it no longer does, until someone else offers a different perspective in opposition to mine, or until there is no more snack in the kitchen cupboard. Then it is necessary to change one's point of view, to adapt and adapt it to the changed circumstances. can we do that Do we want that?
In every conflict, crisis, Problem– or negotiation situation, with every task and challenge I can “Try harder!” practice, go into conflict, work harder, argue harder. Unfortunately my counterpart does that because of him Spiegelneurons mostly instinctively too. It comes to an escalation and we land in a stalemate. Many people know the saying: “Don't try harder, but smarter!”
But what does “smart” mean? For example: If you can't go on like this, if it gets too exhausting, if it's no longer fun, if you're progressing too slowly - don't try harder, but change your perspective! Change your own, gain a new perspective! Stand up, the thing and your previous perspective, so to speak Head and clap your feet - if it helps, why not! Try out alternative, optional, unthought perspectives like shoes in a shoe store: until it fits! Until it fits better. So how do you gain new perspectives?
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Dr. Cornelia Topf is a certified business coach and international management trainer with support for over twenty years Cornelia Topf As an international management trainer and certified business coach, well-known companies of all sizes and industries. Her focus is on target-oriented communication and success-oriented body language. The promotion of women is particularly important to the doctor of economics. The managing director of “metatalk Kommunikation und Training” in Augsburg is the author of many specialist books and guides that have been translated into numerous languages. These include titles such as “Self-coaching for women”, “Negotiating successfully for women”, “Assertiveness for women”, “The guide book for cheeky women” or “Defusing presentation torpedoes”. Cornelia Topf is also a sought-after expert in the media. More information at www.metatalk-training.de All texts from Dr. Cornelia Topf.
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