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Reach goals: The role of emotions in negotiations
From Dr. Cornelia Topf (More) • Last updated on October 03.03.2022, XNUMX • First published on 19.04.2018/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 5240 readers, 1237 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Heated, often lengthy negotiations are an integral part of human coexistence. There are many examples for this. But what exactly is going on? And why is that justified?
Contents
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- The winner takes it all
- Negotiating instead of begging
- How to negotiate correctly!
- Lazy compromises, in which the brain rejoices
- Three examples of negotiations
- What happens there?
- From competition to cooperation
- It depends on the negotiating partner
- Top books on the subject
- Read text as PDF
- Advice on success, goal achievement or marketing
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The winner takes it all
In professional life and especially in the digitized one Working world we can all observe this very closely: The winner takes it all. Even if we are rather willing to compromise feel, our brain may thwart us on account.
Veni, vidi, vici: I came, I saw, I won. Even today, this saying of the old Caesar is often quoted and has something fascinating for many.
Negotiating instead of begging
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It should go quickly with the “victory” over the “opponent”. The reality is different. The more time you have, the less you are dependent on a short-term result, often bought with great compromises. Whoever determines time and space is always the more powerful.
Despite years of hard work, it was not you who received the longed-for promotion, but the youngster with the big mouth? No matter what you are with your Executive negotiate, you lose out?
How to negotiate correctly!
Do not beg any longer, stop meekly nodding to any rejection, realize your value and negotiate! For who does not negotiate, who does not win!
With a courageous, self-assured attitude and positive attitude to negotiation, you will also leave the negotiation table with a winning smile and a great load of dopamine in the blood.
Lazy compromises, in which the brain rejoices
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By the way: 90% of all People are willing to compromise. The only question is what the individual understands by compromise. fifty fifty? Probably not.
Rather "80 percent to me, 20 percent to you." A compromise where the reward center should cheer. Be vigilant that it is your own and not that of your negotiating partner.
Three examples of negotiations
- Example ThyssenKrupp: Negotiations on merger of the stainless steel division with Outokumpu confirmed. They are currently in talks with ThyssenKrupp to explore possible strategic options. At the present time, however, there is no certainty as to whether there will actually be a transaction, it said.
- Example Stuttgart 21: The railway boss relies on negotiations at Stuttgart 21: In the dispute over the additional costs for the Stuttgart 21 construction project, railway boss Rüdiger Grube is opting for a friendly solution. "We don't want a fight," said Grube.
- Example of negotiations on the EU agriculture budget: The negotiations on the future of the EU's agricultural policy aimed at achieving progress in environmental protection, for the rural population and in long-term food security. However, it seems that the well-known culture of agricultural payments continues.
What happens there?
One wonders: what happens there? When will the parties finally come to a conclusion? Of course, successful negotiation always requires a good deal of perseverance.
Experience shows, however, that often the moment of “switching” from competing Behavior ("I'll assert myself", "I won't give in", "I'll flatten you") on cooperative behavior (where do we have things in common, how can we take the interests of both sides into account, what have we already achieved together, where could a compromise lie?) is missed.
From competition to cooperation
This is absolutely necessary if you want to achieve a common result. Negotiations are always interactions between people in whom emotions play an important role - even if many do not want to or even deny that.
Even if the situation is initially tense due to provocations, defensiveness on the part of the other side or even personal attacks - a positive atmosphere in the conversation leads to positive ones emotions at.
It depends on the negotiating partner
It's never about your cause, yours Set, your interests alone, but always also those of the negotiating partner. This is the big one Art: Find out exactly what the other person wants, what moves them, what they respond to, what they really want or need.
Anyone who provokes or attacks usually starts an avalanche that they can no longer control. So-called “irritating comments”, contrary to popular belief, do not really weaken the opponent.
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Here writes for you
Dr. Cornelia Topf is a certified business coach and international management trainer with support for over twenty years Cornelia Topf As an international management trainer and certified business coach, well-known companies of all sizes and industries. Her focus is on target-oriented communication and success-oriented body language. The promotion of women is particularly important to the doctor of economics. The managing director of “metatalk Kommunikation und Training” in Augsburg is the author of many specialist books and guides that have been translated into numerous languages. These include titles such as “Self-coaching for women”, “Negotiating successfully for women”, “Assertiveness for women”, “The guide book for cheeky women” or “Defusing presentation torpedoes”. Cornelia Topf is also a sought-after expert in the media. More information at www.metatalk-training.de All texts from Dr. Cornelia Topf.
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4 Responses to “Achieving goals: The role of emotions in negotiations”
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Emphasizing the emotional components strongly reminds me of Harvard's concept of negotiation, which aims to be tough on the matter and soft on the relationship level.
Their five principles are outlined as follows:
1. Differences between the subject of the negotiations on the one hand and the relationship between the ones on the other hand
Negotiating partners (on the other hand, to avoid embarrassing the issue)
2. Do not focus on positions, but on the underlying interests (often the positions are only means to an end, the interest behind it and should be reached is often another)
3. Develop as many options as possible, evaluate and decide later
4. Apply generally accepted norms or principles as objective decision criteria
5. Decide for or against a bargain by comparing it with your best alternative-
Hello Mr. Schneider,
thank you for the reference, the Harvard negotiation concept I will gladly times in the detail look. However, I also see some contradictions: focusing on the interests behind the position as in the Harvard negotiation concept requires a certain rationality. This, as Ms Pot does, stands in the way of the victory of the individual. How could a solution look like?
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The Harvard Negotiation Concept seeks to master individual selfish motives. The approach is that many negotiations take place in the context of a lasting relationship. Once the relationship is disrupted, material solutions are often made impossible. At the same time, even those who manage to assert their positions against the interests of others will not win.
The prerequisite for every successful communication is a trouble-free relationship between the participants. The goal is a discussion that is dominated by the problems of the subject and not by the egoisms of the individual. A win / win situation arises only if an appropriate solution is set that satisfies both interests.
If everyone concentrates on his and the other's interests, the solution remains in the foreground and there is no "haggling over positions". Interests are the legitimate concern of every negotiating partner.
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Thank you for your comments. However, ME still does not solve the problem that perhaps selfish, irrational motives may oppose the collective will to concentrate. How is this dealt with?
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